What the Mat Reveals About Character Seraph, as seen by Neo, in The Matrix Reloaded There is a scene in The Matrix Reloaded that I have always loved and have shared often here. Neo meets Seraph. Seraph does not sit down and ask Neo who he is. They fight. That always made sense to me. Maybe because I have spent most of my life in martial arts. There are things I can feel about a person through sparring that I may never notice over a cup of coffee. I do not mean that fighting magically tells...
about 2 hours ago • 7 min read
The Lesson I Learned From a Man I Couldn’t Stand On Character by Gen. Stanley McChrystal I was reading General Stanley McChrystal’s On Character, and it reminded me of a lesson I learned more than thirty years ago from a guy I could not stand. Some of the best lessons I have learned did not come from people I admired. Sometimes the lesson is good even when you do not particularly care for the teacher. From 1993 to 1997, I worked for Rosendin Electric. Four years. That was a long time for me...
1 day ago • 8 min read
The Discomfort You Can’t Punch For years, I used to joke with my martial arts buddies that most of us would rather take an ass kicking than go through a bad breakup. I was not really joking. Getting punched hurts. Getting kicked hurts. Getting choked, thrown, slammed, exhausted, bruised, and beaten up hurts. But at least you know what to do. There is something in front of you. Move Block Cover Escape Fight back If somebody is kicking your ass, you can at least try to give back as good as you...
2 days ago • 8 min read
The Difference Between Tough and Durable For years, I stared at the same seven statements on the wall of my Hapkido school. Actually, not years. Decades. Before class, I would be sitting on the mat stretching, and there it was: the Hapkido Creed as Grand Master Han displayed it. I saw those words so many times they became part of the background. But they never quite let me go. Courtesy Integrity Wisdom Perseverance Self-control Indomitable spirit Perfection of character Some of them seemed...
3 days ago • 9 min read
You Don’t Rise to the Occasion.You Fall to Your Training. On September 21, 2005, JetBlue Flight 292 took off from Burbank, California, headed for New York. Shortly after takeoff, the crew discovered they had a problem. The nose landing gear was stuck sideways. Not slightly crooked. The wheels were turned roughly ninety degrees. They could not just continue across the country and hope everything worked itself out. So the plane stayed in the air, burning fuel and preparing for an emergency...
4 days ago • 9 min read
Competence Is Quiet I think somewhere along the way I grew up wanting to be a ninja. Not literally. Well, maybe a little literally. I grew up in the seventies and eighties, when ninjas were everywhere—movies, books, martial arts magazines, and probably the imagination of every kid who thought disappearing into the shadows wearing black was the coolest thing imaginable. The Ninja by Eric Van Lustbader I remember reading Eric Van Lustbader’s The Ninja. That book opened a door for me. Through...
5 days ago • 8 min read
Character Is More Important Than Which Side You’re On I have been fortunate to spend most of my life around people who were different from me. Really different. I grew up in Honolulu, what people sometimes call the Melting Pot of the Pacific. Japanese. Chinese. Filipino. Korean. Samoan. Tongan. Hawaiian. Portuguese. And every mixture of those you can imagine. Then I moved to Los Angeles and discovered that I did not understand diversity at all. Growing up in Hawaii, white people were...
6 days ago • 9 min read
The Facts You Don’t Like Still Count One of the things I love most about Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu is that the mat has a strange ability to give you humility and confidence at exactly the same time. You learn what you can do. And you learn very quickly what you cannot do. The mat does not particularly care about the story you tell yourself. Last week I was rolling with Wesley. Wes is this really cool California surfer dude, almost Lebowski-ish. Big guy. Brown belt. Badass at BJJ. But he also has...
7 days ago • 7 min read
The Warrior Who Can’t Become a Scout Will Eventually Fight the Wrong Battle I remember reading an idea years ago that stuck with me. I think it may have been in a Tony Robbins book, although I cannot remember well enough to swear to the source. The idea was that people tend to bring their profession home with them. The lawyer litigates with his wife. The doctor goes to a party and starts diagnosing everybody. The therapist does therapy on friends who never asked to become clients. I spent...
8 days ago • 9 min read
Not Every Good Person Is a Good Training Partner There's a scene from the movie, The Matrix Reloaded, that I love, it's where Seraph fights Neo to make sure he's not an imposter. And it highlights today's article. Recently I made a decision on the BJJ mat that I did not particularly enjoy making. I decided not to roll with somebody anymore. Not because I dislike him. Actually, I like him. He is a nice guy. We talk all the time. We are both blue belts. We have both been at the school for...
9 days ago • 9 min read