Your Superpower Is Holding You Back The thing that got you here won't take you where you want to go The other day I was rolling with one of the newly promoted black belts at Meraki. A guy I've always respected. Strong, flexible, technical. When he attacks you he has that slow methodical game that feels like a python wrapping around you—the kind you love to watch and hate to experience. He's always late to class, which drives my old-school martial arts brain crazy, but I like him anyway. Funny...
1 day ago • 10 min read
Know Yourself, But Adapt to Others: Why Good Leaders Must Play Different Games Nosce Te Ipsum at the Temple of Apollo The other day during Sunday open mat, I was working drills with one of the brown belts, Romain. He's a 50-something French guy who works in the healthcare industry, and he's really strong and tough on the mat. We've been partnering up for a couple months now—30 minutes before the noon class on Mondays and Wednesdays and sometimes on Sundays when he can make it in. We've been...
2 days ago • 14 min read
The Comparison Trap: Why Getting Good Is Easier Than You Think Most people aren't competing with you—they're competing with their couch. I've said this before and I will say it again, "Stop comparing your blooper reel to their highlight reel." One thing I've learned teaching on the mat and in construction, things need to be repeated over and over again to be taken in and learned. Open mat Sundays at Meraki Sunday open mat. First full week of January. I'll be honest—it was a rough week. Only...
3 days ago • 10 min read
What Good People Can Do in a Broken Time: A Guide for the Overwhelmed I'll be honest—these are crazy times. Things are moving faster and farther than most people can handle, and it's easy to go down rabbit holes, getting lost or wrapping yourself in a cocoon of your favorite silo, being wrapped in the warm blanket of confirmation bias. Either path leads nowhere. So here are some options that allow you to be part of the solution and not part of the problem. First—take a breath. Feeling...
4 days ago • 11 min read
I'm Not Going to Reason You Out of a Position You Didn't Reason Yourself Into When to walk away, when to de-escalate, and when to shut your mouth and save your sanity. Alana's Coffee Roasters The other morning at Alana's Coffee, I found myself in a situation I haven't dealt with in years. A situation that reminded me why saner heads need to prevail. Why picking your battles matters. And why some fights aren't worth having—even when you're "right." I was sitting there, working on my computer,...
5 days ago • 8 min read
The Steel Horse You're Not Riding: Why Rest Isn't Weakness Sometimes the most important move is standing still I'm sitting at Alana's—the little café that's become my office—with my noise-canceling earbuds wedged in tight. They're supposed to block out the world. Sometimes they're not noise-canceling enough. But that's a different problem for a different day. Today, I hit shuffle on one of my YouTube playlists—the white noise mixes that help me concentrate while I read, study, write. And then...
6 days ago • 8 min read
Don't Be a Useful Idiot: How Critical Thinking Became the Most Dangerous Skill You're Not Using Being right feels better than being smart. That's why they've got you exactly where they want you. There's a story that keeps showing up in motivational posts and feel-good memes about ancient humans. Femur bone on the human body An archaeologist supposedly found a 15,000-year-old human femur that had been broken and healed. The fracture showed evidence of proper setting, time to mend, and care...
7 days ago • 11 min read
The Anti-Keystone Habit: What Marcus Aurelius Didn't Tell You About Subtraction Sometimes the fastest way forward is to let go of what's holding you back As Good As It Gets I was watching As Good As It Gets the other night. Haven't seen it since the theaters back in '97. Sitting there almost thirty years later, I had this strange experience—like watching a documentary of my younger self. Jack Nicholson's character, Melvin, obsessively controlling everything through his OCD rituals. Helen...
8 days ago • 8 min read
You Don't Need More Motivation—You Need One Standard You Won't Break And it probably won't feel good at first. I recently saw the exact bike I bought back in 1988 I was a first-year apprentice when I made a promise to myself that sounded reasonable in summer but turned brutal by November. I'd just sold my Fiat Spider—"Fix It Again Tony," as I called it—and bought my first motorcycle. Nothing fancy. Just a reliable Honda Hawk NT650 that got me to the jobsite and back. The deal I made with...
9 days ago • 10 min read