Clumping: The Secret Weapon for Success Why It Took Me 18 Months to See It When I first stepped onto the mat at Meraki BJJ, I wasn’t there to prove anything. I wasn’t chasing stripes, belts, or medals. I had already earned two black belts in other arts. At 59, I wasn’t looking to dominate the room. I was there to train, to learn, to stave off dementia, and to survive. And I mean that literally. My goal for most of this journey so far has been simple: Don’t get tapped. Don’t get crushed. Just...
1 day ago • 4 min read
To Be a Great Teacher, Be a Greater Student Part 1: The Dance Hall Lesson Open mat is my favorite time at the gym. I call it “Dance Hall Day.” Everyone shows up to roll, chat, and just hang out. You get to pick who you want to train with, how long you go, and how hard you go. Some people are there to grind. Some are just there to move. Me? I show up for the mix of both—and the joy of learning without pressure. Last week, I rolled with one of my favorite blue belts. He’s young, strong, smart,...
3 days ago • 5 min read
The Power (and the Problem) of Making Mountains Out of Molehills Why the 1% Rule Can Also Ruin Your Life If You're Not Careful A Barrel Full of Holes A few years ago, I sat across from a potential client. Smart kid. Tons of ambition. He said he wanted to "turn his life around." That's what they all say. So I handed him my intake form. Now, this isn't your normal ten-question checklist. It's more like a mini-book—page after page of questions. Life. Work. Habits. Health. Finances....
4 days ago • 6 min read
The Rise of the Reluctant Warrior The Avengers (2012) In a cinematic landscape dominated by CGI superheroes and fantasy spectacles, something remarkable has happened over the past generation. Three relatively grounded action franchises—featuring middle-aged men with no superpowers—have captivated global audiences and generated billions at the box office. The Bourne Identity (2002) The Bourne series, John Wick's neon-soaked assassin world, and The Equalizer films starring Denzel Washington as...
5 days ago • 9 min read
Life's Not Fair—And That's the Best News You'll Ever Hear: Lessons from the Martial Arts Mat The Smallest Guy in the Room Before I got on the martial arts mat, I was always afraid of physical conflict and emotional arguments. I would immediately go into amygdala mode—which often meant for me (always the smallest and least educated guy in the room), flight. Amygdala hijack of fight, flight, freeze When confrontation loomed, my body made the decision before my mind could weigh in. Heart racing,...
6 days ago • 10 min read
My Life Didn't Change Until I Made This One Change The Voice in My Head Growing up in the 70s, there was no talk of emotional intelligence or safe spaces. Especially not if you were in Catholic school. You got hit with a yardstick or shamed into the corner if you stepped out of line. Yeah, this always worked... SMH There wasn’t time to ask why a kid was acting out—you were labeled bad, dumb, lazy, or worse. You got put in a box early, and that box followed you everywhere. I remember being...
7 days ago • 6 min read
Missing the Biggest Opportunity for Growth: The Power of Productive Conflict What I Learned on the Mat About Energy Flow To someone standing on the side of the mat, watching two people spar or roll, it looks scary—violent even. Intimidating. Uncomfortable. Like something to avoid at all costs. And that’s exactly why most people do avoid it. They don’t just avoid sparring. They avoid difficult conversations. Hard decisions. Real feedback. They avoid the messy, uncomfortable tension that arises...
8 days ago • 4 min read
You Make Your Own Luck:Lessons I Learned from the Pool Hall The Green Felt University Long before I got on the mat as a martial artist learning to fight strategically because, "All things being equal, the bigger stronger guy will win. So don't be equal." Before I was a foreman working on multi-million and billion-dollar projects with guys who scored poorly on the emotional IQ exam, I was learning everything I needed to know to be successful in life on the pool table. When I was in high...
9 days ago • 8 min read
The Right Tool for the Job:Why Mental Models Matter More Than Ever Hey, let me tell you a story... So there I was in the 80s—just a kid on the construction site. Barely 20, barely 5'4", and definitely lacking confidence. Every morning I'd show up with my secondhand tool belt, cheap gloves, and a head full of worry. I didn't have much going for me, but I figured out one thing pretty quick: you better have the right tool for the job. Man, did I learn that lesson the hard way! Try using those...
10 days ago • 6 min read