Sometimes You Don't Need to Turn Around. You Just Need to Pivot.

What if the solution to your problem is waiting just outside your usual way of looking at it?

Think of something that has been frustrating you lately.

Maybe someone at work keeps dropping the ball. Maybe your spouse doesn't see things the way you do. Maybe a client won't follow through on what you both agreed.

Or maybe you're sitting on a problem you have no idea how to solve, and it's been weighing on you for weeks.

You've explained the situation to people. You've thought about it. You've complained about it.

And here's the uncomfortable part.

The more you think about it, the more convinced you become that there's nothing you can do.

Because the problem is other people, circumstances, or the past. Things outside your control.

Let me ask you something.

What if you're looking at the problem from the wrong angle?

What if there's another route you haven't considered, and finding it could mean the difference between remaining stuck and finally moving forward?

I learned something about this on the jobsite. And a conversation after class earlier this week reminded me how useful that lesson can be.

A Conversation After Class

Earlier this week, I was catching up with a buddy after training.

We were talking about work, what they'd been up to, and how things were going with their clients.

Some things were going well. Others weren't.

As we talked, I noticed the conversation kept circling back to the same place.

The clients weren't taking the actions my buddy wanted them to take.

They weren't following through.

They weren't doing the things that might help them make progress.

I understood the frustration. When you're trying to help someone, it's discouraging to watch them struggle with the same problem you've been trying to help them solve.

But I noticed we kept returning to what the clients were doing wrong.

So I asked a question.

My buddy explained again what the clients weren't doing.

Which wasn't quite what I was asking.

So I tried a different approach.

Now we were looking at the same situation differently.

Instead of cataloging what someone else was failing to do, we were examining what choices might still be available.

Maybe the client doesn't understand the next step.

Maybe the task feels too big.

Maybe they don't see why it matters.

Maybe something is in their way that nobody has asked about yet.

Or perhaps my buddy has already done everything reasonable, and the next decision genuinely belongs to the client.

That's a real possibility, too.

You can offer guidance, training, encouragement, and support.

You can't make another person decide to act.

You can take responsibility for your approach without taking responsibility for someone else's choices.

And sometimes seeing that distinction clearly is the beginning of a solution.

The Problem With Looking From Only One Direction

When I was an electrical apprentice, I ran into problems like this constantly.

My journeyman or foreman would give me an assignment.

• Install this conduit.
• Run power to that equipment.
• Figure out how to finish this section of the job.

I'd look at the work area, study what needed to be done, and sometimes wonder:

There might be a structural beam in the way.

Another trade had already installed something where I expected to work.

The route I planned was blocked.

Or the materials and tools available made my first approach impractical.

At first, all I could see were the problems.

The job looked impossible because I could picture only one way to accomplish it.

But over time, I developed a habit that made me a much better electrician.

I started walking around.

I'd look at the work from the other side.

From underneath.

From above.

I'd step back and examine how the pieces fit together.

And I'd start asking different questions.

• Could I approach it from another direction?
• Could I change the order of the work?
• Was there a different route?
• Was I assuming something had to be done a certain way when it didn't?

Slowly, possibilities would emerge.

Sometimes the original route really was impossible.

But that didn't mean the job couldn't be done.

It meant I needed another approach.

The work area hadn't changed. The obstacles hadn't vanished. What changed was what I could see.

And that made all the difference.

The Three-Solution Challenge

Eventually, I became a foreman.

One of the habits I developed with my crews was asking them to come up with three ways to accomplish an assignment.

I'd explain what needed to be built, the requirements, and the constraints.

Then I'd ask them to develop three different approaches.

Not one.

Not their usual method plus the obvious backup.

Three.

Why three?

Because the first solution is usually the one you already know.

It's familiar. It's the way you've done things before.

The second is often a reasonable alternative.

But the third?

For many guys that's where their imagination really had to go to work.

You're forced to question your assumptions.

Consider a different sequence.

Look at the tools and materials differently.

Or take seriously an approach you'd normally dismiss without a second thought.

Sometimes the third idea wasn't practical.

Sometimes examining three possibilities confirmed that the first approach was best.

And occasionally, the third option revealed something better than either of the others.

The point wasn't always to find a clever new installation method.

The point was to develop people who could think for themselves.

I wanted a crew that could recognize alternatives instead of getting stuck the moment their first plan encountered an obstacle.

Because construction rarely goes exactly as planned.

And if you can only perform when circumstances match your expectations, you're going to have a difficult career.

Now carry that same exercise off the jobsite and into your life.

What would your third option be?

You Might Be Solving the Wrong Problem

Let's return to the person who won't follow through.

Maybe you're a parent trying to help your child develop better habits.

Maybe you're a manager trying to improve an employee's performance.

Or a coach helping a client pursue a goal.

You've explained what they should do.

You've reminded them.

You've shown them how.

And nothing changes.

You could spend another month explaining why they should be doing better.

You might even be completely justified in your frustration.

But would that change anything?

Try a different question.

Instead of asking, "Why won't they do what I told them?"

Ask:

Maybe the task needs to be broken into smaller steps.

Maybe the goal isn't clear.

Maybe they're missing a skill.

Maybe they never actually agreed to the goal in the first place.

Or perhaps the right next move is acknowledging that you've offered reasonable help and the responsibility now belongs to them.

That last answer can be the hardest one to accept.

Sometimes we keep working on a problem long after we've reached the limits of our influence.

We explain more.

Worry more.

Get more frustrated.

And pour energy into a decision only someone else can make.

Meanwhile, our own choices receive less attention.

It's like standing in front of a blocked conduit route, complaining about the beam.

The beam isn't going anywhere.

But perhaps your conduit can.

What a Submarine Captain Understood

This connects with an idea I admire in L. David Marquet's book Turn the Ship Around!

Marquet commanded the USS Santa Fe, a nuclear-powered attack submarine.

He worked to change a traditional leader-follower culture into one where people developed the competence, clarity, and responsibility to think and act as leaders.

There's a line from his work that fits my years in construction remarkably well:

It's called Commander's Intent.​

A leader can describe the destination without dictating every turn along the route.

Of course, people need the necessary skills.

They need to understand the requirements and the boundaries of their authority.

And some jobs involve safety and technical rules that cannot be improvised.

Those boundaries are real and important.

But within them, people can be encouraged to think, recognize problems, explore alternatives, and develop their own judgment.

That's what I was trying to accomplish when I asked my crew for three approaches.

The outcome was clear.

The work still had to meet the requirements.

But I wanted them to take responsibility for figuring out how to accomplish it.

And there's a personal version of that lesson.

When you're stuck, identify the outcome you actually want.

Then ask whether you've become unnecessarily attached to one particular method of reaching it.

You might not need to change the goal. You might need to find another route.

Change the Situation, or Change Your Response

The poet Maya Angelou expressed another side of this lesson beautifully:

Think about the problem you brought to this article.

• What can you change?
• What can you influence?
• And what must you learn to respond to differently?

Maybe you've been wishing someone would behave differently.

Wishing your circumstances were easier.

Wishing the past could be rewritten.

Those feelings can be completely understandable.

Life can be difficult. Other people's decisions affect us. Some constraints are real.

But once you recognize those realities, there's another question worth asking.

What can I do now?

Perhaps you can change the situation.

Perhaps you can influence part of it.

Perhaps you can change your response, set a boundary, ask for help, or direct your effort somewhere it can make a difference.

Changing your attitude doesn't mean pretending the problem isn't real.

Accepting something outside your control doesn't mean approving of it.

It means directing your attention toward the choices that still belong to you.

Sometimes that's a practical action.

Sometimes it's a different understanding.

And sometimes it's the quiet, powerful act of putting down a burden that was never yours to carry.

Explaining It Is Not Solving It

Have you noticed how easy it is to become an expert on why something won't work?

You know every obstacle.

Every limitation.

Every reason the other person is wrong.

You can describe the situation in remarkable detail.

And you may be right about all of it.

But here's a question I learned to ask on the jobsite:

Or am I simply getting better at describing why I'm stuck?

There's a difference.

Imagine two people facing the same construction problem.

The first examines the obstacle and explains why the installation can't be completed as planned.

The second recognizes the same obstacle.

Then walks around.

Looks above.

Looks below.

Checks the plans.

Asks another question.

Both see the problem.

But one continues examining the obstacle while the other starts exploring alternatives.

The second person might still conclude that the job is impossible under the current conditions.

That's useful information, too.

They can report the limitation, request a change, or recommend another course of action.

But they've examined the options before declaring there's no path forward.

That's a habit that serves you far beyond the jobsite.

Sometimes the Best Move Is a Small Pivot

I like the image of turning a ship around.

It's a powerful picture of changing your life.

But we often assume meaningful change requires a dramatic reversal.

• Quit the job.
• Move to a new city.
• Start over.
• Turn 180 degrees and head the other way.

Sometimes those big moves are necessary.

But often a smaller adjustment produces a surprisingly different result.

A different question.

A fresh angle.

A clearer explanation.

A better sequence.

A willingness to test one more approach.

Think of a ship crossing a vast stretch of ocean.

A small change in heading, maintained over enough distance, can bring you to a completely different destination.

Your life can work that way, too.

The difficulty is that small adjustments don't feel dramatic.

We want the big breakthrough.

The moment when everything changes at once.

Meanwhile, a modest pivot might be sitting right in front of us, overlooked because it doesn't announce itself.

So return to the problem you thought of when you started reading.

What have you been treating as immovable?

Which part of it belongs to someone else?

What can you influence?

And what haven't you tried yet?

You might discover that another possibility has been there all along.

You just needed to look from a different angle.

⚔️ The Dojo Drill: Find Your Third Option

Pick one situation that's been frustrating you.

Something you've been worrying about, explaining repeatedly, or struggling to change.

Take out a piece of paper and make two columns.

Things You Can't Control

• Other people's decisions and opinions.
• The past.
• Circumstances you cannot change right now.

Write them down. Acknowledge them. Stop expecting yourself to control them.

Things You Can Control or Influence

• Your questions.
• Your preparation.
• Your communication.
• Your effort.
• Your boundaries.
• Your next action.

Remember that influencing something doesn't guarantee the outcome.

Now choose one obstacle and develop three approaches.

Option 1: Your usual way of handling it.

Option 2: A reasonable alternative.

Option 3: Something you haven't seriously considered before.

Maybe the third option works.

Maybe it doesn't.

That's fine.

The exercise is to train yourself to look beyond your first answer.

Then ask one final question:

What's the smallest responsible move I can make with what I actually control?

Choose it.

And take it.

You don't need to solve every problem today.

You don't need to turn your entire life around in one dramatic maneuver.

Sometimes the beam really is in your way.

But you can walk around, look from another angle, and discover a route you hadn't considered.

Sometimes a simple pivot is enough to take you somewhere entirely different.

📚 From the Leader’s Library

​Turn the Ship Around! A True Story of Turning Followers into Leaders — L. David Marquet​

Why?

Most people spend their lives waiting for instructions, following expectations, or repeating habits they’ve never questioned. But Marquet challenges us to think differently: stop being a passive follower and start taking responsibility for the direction of our own lives.

Turn the Ship Around! tells the remarkable story of how a Navy captain transformed the culture of a struggling submarine by replacing blind obedience with initiative, competence, and shared responsibility. Through the simple but powerful phrase “I intend to…”, Marquet shows how leadership can develop at every level.

It’s a reminder that personal leadership isn’t about having all the answers or holding a position of authority. It’s about learning to think for yourself, making deliberate decisions, and developing the courage and competence to steer your own course.