Missing the Biggest Opportunity for Growth: The Power of Productive Conflict What I Learned on the Mat About Energy Flow To someone standing on the side of the mat, watching two people spar or roll, it looks scary—violent even. Intimidating. Uncomfortable. Like something to avoid at all costs. And that’s exactly why most people do avoid it. They don’t just avoid sparring. They avoid difficult conversations. Hard decisions. Real feedback. They avoid the messy, uncomfortable tension that arises...
1 day ago • 4 min read
You Make Your Own Luck:Lessons I Learned from the Pool Hall The Green Felt University Long before I got on the mat as a martial artist learning to fight strategically because, "All things being equal, the bigger stronger guy will win. So don't be equal." Before I was a foreman working on multi-million and billion-dollar projects with guys who scored poorly on the emotional IQ exam, I was learning everything I needed to know to be successful in life on the pool table. When I was in high...
3 days ago • 8 min read
The Right Tool for the Job:Why Mental Models Matter More Than Ever Hey, let me tell you a story... So there I was in the 80s—just a kid on the construction site. Barely 20, barely 5'4", and definitely lacking confidence. Every morning I'd show up with my secondhand tool belt, cheap gloves, and a head full of worry. I didn't have much going for me, but I figured out one thing pretty quick: you better have the right tool for the job. Man, did I learn that lesson the hard way! Try using those...
4 days ago • 6 min read
The Quickest and Easiest Way to Eliminate Imposter Syndrome—Forever When I left the world of union construction after 35 years and stepped into the entrepreneurial space, I wasn’t scared. Not because I had all the answers.Not because I had some magic formula. But because I knew something most people didn’t: I knew how to be a white belt again. Back in the late 80s, I thought being an electrician was just about pipe and wire. Over the decades, I realized I was learning far more: communication,...
5 days ago • 5 min read
The Danger of Simple Thinking: Why Life’s Not Just Right or Wrong We were fighting again. Not yelling. But that quiet kind of fight. The kind where your chest feels tight. The kind where silence is louder than words. My wife and I have been married a long time. Over two decades. And still—some fights feel brand new. They sneak up on you. This one was over something small. Maybe how we handled money that month. Or maybe it was about how we spoke to each other in front of friends. Honestly, I...
6 days ago • 5 min read
Leaders Don’t Ask for Permission: Why Self-Reliance is the First Step to Power The Breakfast Counter It’s Friday morning, and I’m sitting in one of my favorite breakfast joints. It’s the kind of place that smells like burnt coffee, bacon grease, and hard work. There are Otis elevator techs at one table, day laborers in dusty boots at another, and over at the big table in the middle of the place — a couple of general foremen and project managers. You can always tell who they are. It’s in the...
7 days ago • 5 min read
The Four Stages: From Athlete to Sage The 4 Stages of the Enlightened Man The Wake-Up Call I Wish I'd Had Sooner The purple belt stared at me as we sat on one of the benches, his eyes locked on mine. "So what's next?" he asked. He had just been promoted after four years of consistent training. Four years of showing up, grinding it out, surviving the valleys, and celebrating the peaks. But his question wasn't about jiu-jitsu. It was about life. "What do you mean?" I asked, though I knew...
8 days ago • 12 min read
Hard Work That Doesn't Break You: Finding Joy in the Grind The Day I Almost Quit Because I Forgot Why I Started I remember the night clearly. One year into my BJJ journey, I was lying on the mat, staring at the ceiling, my gi soaked through with sweat. For the fifth time in that noon class, the same blue belt had tapped me out. Nothing I did worked. Every escape attempt ended with me gasping for air or feeling the pressure of another submission. Getting mounted in BJJ sucks! The worst part? I...
9 days ago • 7 min read
Fear, Stress, and Overwhelm:The Real Training Grounds of a Badass I was getting smashed again. Not something stupid like in a bar fight, on Twitter, or in a meeting. But on the mat. Again. There I was, under the crushing weight of someone stronger, faster, and more skilled than me—again. I could barely breathe, couldn’t move, and all I could think was, “Why the hell do I keep showing up for this?” And then, like it has for decades, the answer showed up too: Because I like it. In a weird,...
10 days ago • 5 min read