The Lost Skill That Makes Great Leaders: Why Most People Don’t Know How to Learn (Let Alone Think or Teach)

If you can’t explain it simply, you don’t understand it deeply.

Long before I was a foreman on construction sites, I was on the mat teaching hapkido classes.

First to kids. Then to bigger kids—adults.

And here’s what I learned from the mat that I was able to apply to work and life:

You don’t have to be some “credentialed” expert to teach.

You can teach what you know.

And you can be very clear about what you know and don’t know.

But here’s the catch:

Most people don’t actually know what they think they know.

• They’re familiar with it.
• They’ve heard about it.
• They’ve read about it.

But they don’t actually understand it.

And the proof?

They can’t explain it to someone else.

• They can’t distill it.
• They can’t summarize it.
• They can’t communicate it to someone who doesn’t think like them.

And if you can’t do that, you don’t really know it.

Confusing Familiarity With Understanding

Here’s what most people do:

They read something. It makes sense while they’re reading it. So they assume they’ve learned it.

But they haven’t.

Because the moment they try to explain it—or worse, apply it—it falls apart.

That’s because real understanding only appears when you can summarize an idea clearly and in your own words.

Not regurgitate it. Not quote it. Not copy it.

Explain it.

In your own words.

To someone who doesn’t already know it.

That’s the test. And most people fail it.

Because they’ve never learned how to learn.

What It Means to Really Learn Something

Here’s the key to learning:

It’s not just touching upon something. It’s diving deeply into it.

Not so you can just take it in. But so you can also express it to somebody who doesn’t think like you.

That’s the standard.

If you can’t explain it to someone else—clearly, simply, in your own words—you don’t understand it.

You’re just familiar with it.

And familiarity is not understanding.

How to Actually Learn

Here’s the process I learned from teaching martial arts and applied to everything else:

Step 1: Dive deep into the material.

Don’t just skim. Don’t just read the summary. Don’t just watch the video.

Engage with it deeply.

Read it multiple times. Take notes. Ask questions. Challenge it. Test it.

Don’t just consume. Engage.

Step 2: Grok it.

“Grok” is a term from Robert Heinlein’s Stranger in a Strange Land (which is where Elon got it from).

It means to understand something so deeply that it becomes part of you.

Not just intellectually. But intuitively.

You don’t just know the facts. You understand the principles. You see the connections. You feel how it works.

That’s grokking.

Step 3: Distill it.

Once you’ve grokked it, distill it down to its essence.

What’s the core principle? What’s the main idea? What’s the key insight?

Strip away the jargon. Strip away the complexity. Strip away the fluff.

Get to the essence.

Step 4: Summarize it in your own words.

Now, without looking at your notes, without referencing the source—explain it.

In your own words. As simply as possible.

If you can’t do this, you don’t understand it yet. Go back to Step 1.

Step 5: Teach it to someone else.

This is the ultimate test.

Can you explain it to someone who doesn’t already know it? Someone who doesn’t think like you? Someone who might even be skeptical?

If you can, you understand it.

If you can’t, you’re still just familiar with it.

Step 6: Apply it.

Understanding isn’t just theoretical. It’s practical.

Can you use it? Can you apply it to real situations? Does it work?

If it doesn’t work when you apply it, either you don’t understand it fully, or it’s not actually true.

Either way, you learn something.

What I Learned From Teaching Hapkido

When I first started teaching, I thought I knew the techniques.

I’d been training for years. I could execute them. I could demonstrate them.

But when I tried to teach them, I realized I didn’t understand them as deeply as I thought.

Because different students had different bodies. Different strengths. Different limitations.

What worked for me didn’t work for everyone.

So I had to dive deeper. I had to understand not just how to do the technique, but why it worked. What the principles were. What the leverage points were.

And then I had to distill it. Simplify it. Explain it in a way that made sense to a six-year-old kid or a thirty-five-year-old business executive.

That process—of diving deep, grokking, distilling, and teaching—made me understand the techniques at a level I never would have reached just by training.

Teaching forced me to learn how to learn.

What I Applied to Construction

The same thing happened when I became a foreman.

I thought I knew how to run conduit, pull wire, make up devices. I’d been doing it for years.

But when I had to teach apprentices, I realized I didn’t understand it as deeply as I thought.

Because I’d been doing it on autopilot. I knew how to do it. But I didn’t always know why we did it that way.

So I had to dive deeper.

I had to understand the code. The physics. The reasoning behind the methods.

And then I had to explain it in a way that made sense to a first-year apprentice who’d never held a pair of pliers before.

That process made me a better electrician. And a better foreman.

Because teaching forced me to learn how to learn.

Why Most Leaders Are Ineffective

Here’s the problem with most leaders:

They haven’t learned how to learn.

They’re familiar with a lot of things. They’ve read books. They’ve attended seminars. They’ve heard the buzzwords.

But they don’t actually understand what they’re talking about.

And the proof? They can’t explain it clearly.

They use jargon. They speak in abstractions. They can’t distill complex ideas into simple language.

And that makes them ineffective.

Because if you can’t explain something clearly, you can’t teach it. You can’t inspire people with it. You can’t lead with it.

You’re just regurgitating information you don’t actually understand.

The Three Levels of Knowledge

Here’s how I think about knowledge:

Level 1: Familiarity

You’ve heard about it. You’ve read about it. It makes sense when someone else explains it.

But you can’t explain it yourself.

Level 2: Understanding

You can explain it in your own words. You can distill it. You can summarize it.

But you haven’t applied it yet.

Level 3: Mastery

You can explain it. You can apply it. You can teach it to someone else.

And it works.

Most people operate at Level 1. They’re familiar with a lot of things but understand very little.

The 20%ers operate at Level 2. They understand what they know.

The 1%ers operate at Level 3. They’ve mastered it.

The John Stuart Mill Method

​There’s a story about the philosopher John Stuart Mill that illustrates this perfectly.

From early childhood, his father, James Mill, forced him into a brutal routine:

Read a text, then reconstruct it entirely from memory.

Not the wording. The structure.

Mill had to explain what the author was arguing, how the argument worked, and what would follow if it were true.

If his explanation was vague, his father pressed harder.

Mill describes long walks with his father where the entire purpose was recitation, clarification, and correction.

And this is what most people miss on their self-education journey:

They confuse familiarity with understanding.

Something makes sense while you’re reading it. So you assume you’ve learned it.

But the moment you try to explain it—or worse, apply it—it falls apart.

That’s because real understanding only appears when you can summarize an idea clearly and in your own words.

Here’s how you train this habit:

Read a short passage. Then write a single sentence summarizing what it actually claims.

Do this paragraph by paragraph. Then combine those sentences into a larger summary.

If you can’t do that without notes, you don’t understand it.

Why This Makes You a Better Thinker

Here’s the connection:

Learning how to learn makes you a better thinker.

Because when you dive deep, when you grok, when you distill—you’re not just absorbing information. You’re processing it. You’re analyzing it. You’re connecting it to other things you know.

You’re thinking.

And thinking is what separates leaders from followers.

Followers consume information. Leaders process it.

Followers repeat what they’ve heard. Leaders synthesize and create new insights.

Followers need to be told what to do. Leaders figure it out.

And it all starts with learning how to learn.

Why This Makes You a Better Leader

Here’s the final connection:

Learning how to learn makes you a better leader.

Because leadership is about teaching. About communicating. About helping others understand.

And you can’t do that if you don’t understand it yourself.

If you can’t explain your vision clearly, people won’t follow it.

If you can’t distill complex problems into simple solutions, people won’t trust your judgment.

If you can’t teach people what they need to know, they won’t grow.

Great leaders are great teachers. And great teachers are great learners.

Putting It On the Mat

Here’s what I want you to do this week:

Pick one concept, skill, or idea you think you understand.

Then test yourself:

Can you explain it in your own words, without notes, to someone who doesn’t already know it?

If you can, great. You understand it.

If you can’t, you don’t understand it as well as you think.

So dive deeper. Grok it. Distill it. Practice explaining it.

Then teach it to someone else.

That’s how you move from familiarity to understanding to mastery.

That’s how you learn how to learn.

The Truth About Leadership

Most leaders are less effective than they could be because they haven’t learned how to learn.

They’re familiar with a lot. But they understand very little.

They can’t think clearly because they haven’t processed what they’ve consumed.

They can’t communicate effectively because they can’t distill complexity into simplicity.

They can’t teach because they don’t actually understand what they’re trying to teach.

But the leaders who’ve learned how to learn?

They’re better thinkers. They’re better communicators. They’re better teachers.

They’re better leaders.

Not because they know more. But because they understand more deeply.

And they can help others understand too.

So if you want to be a better leader, start by becoming a better learner.

Dive deep. Grok it. Distill it. Teach it.

That’s how you move from the 99% to the 1%.

What’s one thing you’re going to learn deeply this week?