Lose an Arm to Take a Life: The Real Price of Success

You don’t fail because it’s hard. You fail because you never decided what you actually wanted.

I spent years struggling.

Not because I wasn’t working hard. I was working my ass off. Construction sites. Martial arts training. Reading everything I could get my hands on.

But I was stuck.

I was making progress, but it felt like I was treading water. Like I was working hard but not getting anywhere.

Then I figured out what I was doing wrong.

I was focused on what I didn’t want.

“I don’t want to be broke.” “I don’t want to be stuck in this job.” “I don’t want to be weak.”

But I had no clarity on what I did want.

And that’s the difference between struggling and succeeding.

You’re Running From, Not Running To

Most people fail because they’re running from something instead of running to something.

They’re trying to escape poverty, not build wealth.

They’re trying to avoid weakness, not develop strength.

They’re trying to get away from a bad job, not move toward a good one.

And that doesn’t work.

Because when you’re running from, you don’t have a destination. You don’t have clarity. You don’t have a target to hit.

You’re just flailing.

And flailing doesn’t get you anywhere. It just makes you tired.

Hofstadter’s Law and the Quitting Point

Here’s why most people quit:

They have no idea how long it takes to accomplish something new.

There’s a principle called Hofstadter’s Law:

You think you can learn a skill in six months. It takes two years.

You think you can build a business in a year. It takes five.

You think you can get in shape in three months. It takes a lifestyle change that never ends.

And when reality doesn’t match your expectations, you get discouraged.

You think you’re failing. You think you’re not cut out for this. You think it’s not working.

So you quit.

Right before the breakthrough. Right before the compounding kicks in. Right before it starts working.

Because you didn’t understand how long it takes.

The Distinction: “Lose an Arm to Take a Life”

There’s a saying in kenjutsu, the old-school version of kendo:

It’s an old samurai maxim about full commitment to your chosen path.

And it’s the key to success.

Knowing exactly what you set out to do. And having the “burning the ships” mindset of no turning back until you get it.

Regardless of the cost. Even if it will cost you dearly.

In our digital, AI-driven, endless-options, immediate-gratification world of streaming and overnight Amazon delivery, many of us have lost—if we ever had it in the first place—the clarity of vision to hold for the long term.

And the full commitment to follow through, especially with delays, setbacks, and hard face-plants.

We want it now. We want it easy. We want it without the cost.

And when it doesn’t come that way, we quit.

But that’s not how success works.

Success requires clarity. Commitment. And the willingness to pay the price.

How to Stop Struggling and Start Succeeding

Here’s how you do it:

Step 1: Get crystal clear on what you WANT (not what you don’t want).

Stop running from. Start running to.

What do you actually want?

Not “I don’t want to be broke.” What do you want? “I want to have $100,000 in savings by age 40.”

Not “I don’t want to be weak.” What do you want? “I want to be able to deadlift twice my body weight.”

Not “I don’t want this job.” What do you want? “I want to run my own business serving X customers with Y product.”

Get specific.

Get clear.

Get a target.

Step 2: Understand Hofstadter’s Law.

Whatever timeline you think it will take, double it. Then add some more.

Because it always takes longer than you expect.

Not because you’re slow. Not because you’re failing. Because that’s just how it works.

Mastery takes time. Compounding takes time. Success takes time.

Prepare yourself for the long haul. Commit to the process, not the timeline.

Step 3: Burn the ships.​

Decide that you’re all in. No hedging. No backup plans. No “I’ll try this for a while and see how it goes.”

Commit fully.

Because when you have an exit, you’ll take it. When things get hard, you’ll quit.

But when you burn the ships, you have no choice but to win.

Step 4: Pay the price.

Success costs something. Time. Energy. Money. Comfort. Relationships. Sleep.

Decide in advance that you’re willing to pay.

Because if you’re not willing to pay the price, you’ll quit when the bill comes due.

But if you’ve already decided—if you’ve already committed—you’ll pay and keep going.

Step 5: Quit straddling the fence.

You can’t be half-committed. You can’t be “kind of” pursuing your goal.

You’re either in or you’re out.

Straddling the fence is the worst of both worlds. You don’t get the benefits of commitment. But you don’t get the freedom of walking away.

Pick a side. Commit. Or quit. But don’t straddle.

Step 6: Do the reps.

There’s no shortcut. There’s no hack. There’s no secret.

You just have to do the work.

Show up. Do the reps. Trust the process.

Day after day. Week after week. Year after year.

That’s how you get good. That’s how you succeed.

There is no other way.

What This Looked Like for Me

When I was young, I was all over the place.

I wanted to do martial arts. I wanted to read. I wanted to learn. I wanted to build things. I wanted to teach.

But I wasn’t clear on what I actually wanted.

I was running from poverty. From weakness. From being stuck.

But I didn’t have a clear target of what I was running to.

And that kept me struggling. Working hard but not getting anywhere.

Then I got clear.

I wanted to master myself thru martial arts—not just dabble, but really master how I trained and improved.

I wanted to build a life where I wasn’t just surviving, but thriving; physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually and financially. And I laid out specific paths of how to achieve those goals.

I wanted to help others do the same. So I started my coaching business helping clients to achieve personal leadership and professional success.

That clarity changed everything.

I stopped running from. I started running to.

I committed fully. I burned the ships. I paid the price.

And over time, it worked.

Not because I’m special. Not because I’m talented.

But because I got clear, committed fully, and did the reps.

“But What If I Don’t Know What I Want?”

Here’s the objection I hear most often:

“I don’t know what I want. How can I commit to something if I don’t know what I want?”

Here’s the answer:

You don’t need perfect clarity. You just need enough clarity to start.

Pick something you think you might want. Something you’re interested in. Something that excites you.

Commit to it for six months. A year.

Not forever. Just long enough to see if it’s what you actually want.

And if it’s not, that’s fine. You learned something. Now pick something else.

But don’t use “I don’t know what I want” as an excuse to never commit.

Because you’ll never find out what you want by dabbling. You find out by committing.

Put It On the Mat and Do the Reps

Here’s what I suggest you to do this week:

Pick one thing you want to commit to.

Something you want, not something you don’t want.

Something you’re willing to pay the price for.

Then commit fully. Burn the ships. No hedging. No backup plans.

And do the reps.

Show up. Do the work. Trust the process.

Even when it’s hard. Even when you don’t feel like it. Even when progress is slow.

Because that’s how you stop struggling and start succeeding.

That’s how you move from the 99% to the 1%.

The Final Word

If you want to be more successful than the 99%, focus on what you want, not what you don’t want.

Be willing to pay the price to get what you want.

Quit straddling the fence. Do the reps.

And remember:

What’s the one thing you’re committing to today?

Burn the ships. And get to work.