The Marketing Strategy That Saved My Life (Before I Knew What Marketing Was)

You're surrounded by examples and warnings every single day. The question is: are you learning from them, or are you becoming one?

The Delayed Gratification Self-Assessment

Before we go further, answer these five questions honestly.

Rate yourself 0–5 on each.

0 = I never do this
​1 = Rarely
​2 = Occasionally
​3 = Sometimes
​4 = Often
​5 = This is a consistent habit

1. How often do you observe other people's outcomes—both positive and negative—and actively extract lessons you can apply to your own life before you make the same mistakes?

2. When you see someone struggling with a problem (financial, relational, health, career), how often do you ask yourself: "What would I do if I were in that situation? More importantly, what would I do to avoid that situation entirely?"

3. How often do you make difficult decisions now—even when they're uncomfortable or unpopular—because you know they'll make your life easier in the future?

4. How often do you delay immediate gratification (spending, indulgence, convenience, comfort) in favor of long-term benefit, stability, or freedom?

5. How often do you actively seek out people who are 5–10 years ahead of where you want to be and study their choices, habits, and decisions—not just their results?

Your Score: _____ / 25

Scoring Breakdown

0–5: White Belt—Living on Autopilot

You're not learning from other people's mistakes. You're repeating them. You see the warnings all around you—the burnout, the divorce, the debt, the regret—and you think, "That won't happen to me." But you're not doing anything differently. You're making the same short-term choices that lead to long-term suffering. You're living reactively, not strategically. And one day, you'll wake up and realize you became the cautionary tale you ignored.

6–12: Blue Belt—Aware But Not Acting

You see the patterns. You recognize the warnings. You even know what you should do differently. But you're not doing it. You're still choosing the easy path now, even though you know it makes life harder later. You tell yourself you'll change "eventually," but eventually never comes. You're stuck between knowing better and doing better. And the gap is costing you.

13–19: Purple Belt—Making Some Hard Choices

You're starting to play the long game. You've made some hard decisions. You've delayed some gratification. You're learning from other people's mistakes instead of repeating them. But you're still inconsistent. When pressure hits, you revert to short-term thinking. When it's uncomfortable, you take the easy path. You're building the discipline, but it's not automatic yet. Keep training.

20–25: Brown/Black Belt—Strategic and Disciplined

You've learned to think long-term. You make hard choices now because you know they'll make life easier later. You study other people's outcomes and extract lessons before you make the same mistakes. You delay gratification. You build systems. You play chess while everyone else plays checkers. But don't get comfortable. The world rewards short-term thinking. And the moment you stop defending your long-term strategy, you'll drift back into the herd.

The Question That Changed Everything

Long before I knew what marketing was, I was doing it on myself.

I was running my own internal ad campaign.

Every day.

Without realizing it.

Here's how:

I'd see someone struggling.

Someone broke. Someone divorced. Someone burnt out. Someone stuck in a job they hated.

And I'd ask myself two questions:

"What would I do if I were in that situation?"

And more importantly:

"What would I do to avoid getting in that situation in the first place?"

That's it.

That's the entire strategy.

And it saved my life.

Because I learned from other people's pain before I had to experience it myself.

Years later, I learned this has a name in marketing:

PAS.

Problem. Agitate. Solution.

You identify the problem.
You agitate it—make it real, visceral, urgent.
Then you offer the solution.

That's how you sell anything.

But here's what I realized:

You can run PAS on yourself.

You can look at someone else's problem.
Agitate it by putting yourself in their shoes.
Then solve it before it becomes your problem.

That's not marketing.

That's premeditation.

Old Belief:

Life happens to you. You deal with problems as they come. You can't predict the future, so why worry about it? Just live in the moment and handle things when they arise.

New Belief:

Most problems are predictable. Most suffering is avoidable. If you study other people's outcomes, you can reverse-engineer the choices that led there—and make different ones. Hard choices now create easy life later. The question isn't whether you'll pay the price. The question is when.

The Examples and the Warnings

Growing up in Hawaii, I was surrounded by both.

Examples: People who made good choices. Who built stability. Who kept their marriages intact. Who stayed healthy. Who didn't burn out.

Warnings: People who partied too much. Who had kids as teenagers. Who never got their lives together. Who ended up stuck, struggling, regretful.

And I watched.

I studied.

Not judgmentally. Not arrogantly.

But strategically.

Because I knew:

If I didn't learn from their mistakes, I'd repeat them.

I saw guys on the jobsite who were always on the turnstile.

Get hired. Get laid off. Go back to the hiring hall. Repeat.

And I'd ask myself:

"What are they doing that keeps them in that cycle?"

Showing up late.
Doing sloppy work.
Burning bridges.
Not learning new skills.
Not making themselves indispensable.

So I did the opposite.

I showed up early.
I did clean work.
I built relationships.
I kept learning.
I made myself valuable.

Not because I was smarter.

Because I studied the warnings.

I saw guys who worked 80-hour weeks and lost their families.

I saw guys who didn't work enough and lost their self-respect.

I saw guys who sacrificed everything for money and ended up miserable.

I saw guys who never built anything and ended up resentful.

And I asked:

"What would I do differently?"

And then I did it.

The Comedian Who Gets It

​Jimmy Carr is one of my favorite comedians.

Cambridge-educated. Social and political science. Graduated with honors.

And then became a comedian.

But not just any comedian.

A comedian who uses his education, intelligence, and wit to expose the absurdities of human behavior.

He's hilarious.

But he's also strategic.

​There's a clip where a young woman asks him for advice on raising her toddler.

And his answer?

"Hard choices now, easy life later."

That's it.

Six words.

But those six words contain the entire philosophy of long-term thinking.

Most people do the opposite.

Easy choices now, hard life later.

They choose comfort over discipline.
They choose instant gratification over delayed reward.
They choose the path of least resistance.

And then they wonder why life is so hard.

Here's the truth:

You're going to pay the price either way.

You can pay it now—through discipline, sacrifice, and delayed gratification.

Or you can pay it later—through regret, suffering, and consequences you can't undo.

Your choice.

What PAS Taught Me (Before I Knew What It Was)

Let me break down how I used PAS on myself.

Problem

I'd see someone struggling.

Broke. Burnt out. Divorced. Stuck.

And I'd identify the problem:

"How did they get here?"

Agitate

I'd put myself in their shoes.

"What if that were me? What would that feel like? What would I have lost? What would I be facing?"

I'd make it real. Visceral. Urgent.

Not to scare myself.

To motivate myself.

Solution

Then I'd ask:

"What would I need to do differently—starting now—to avoid that outcome?"

And then I'd do it.

That's it.

That's the entire system.

And it works.

Not because it's complicated.

Because it's honest.

The Hard Choices I Made (And Why They Mattered)

Here are some of the hard choices I made early on.

Not because I was disciplined.

Because I ran PAS on myself.

I didn't have kids when I was still a kid.

I saw too many people in Hawaii have kids too young.

Teenagers raising toddlers.

Struggling. Stressed. Resentful.

I asked: "What would I need to avoid that?"

Answer: Wait. Build stability. Build a foundation.

So I did.

I didn't work 80-hour weeks just because everyone else did.

I saw guys sacrifice their families for work.

And lose both.

I asked: "What would I need to avoid that?"

Answer: Hold boundaries. Protect what matters. Don't confuse effort with effectiveness.

So I did.

I didn't drink or party like everyone else.

I saw the lifestyle.

The hangovers. The wasted time. The slow erosion of capability.

I asked: "What would I need to avoid that?"

Answer: Drink water. Train consistently. Protect my capacity.

So I did.

I didn't wait to start training.

I saw guys who waited until they "had time."

They never had time.

I asked: "What would I need to avoid that?"

Answer: Start now. Make it non-negotiable. Build the habit before I need it.

So I did.

None of these choices were glamorous.

None of them were easy.

But they were strategic.

And they compounded.

The Standard: Play the Long Game

Here's the line most people miss:

Short-term thinking feels easier. Long-term thinking is easier.

Let me say that again:

Short-term thinking feels easier in the moment. But it makes life harder over time.

Long-term thinking feels harder in the moment. But it makes life easier over time.

The 80%ers?

They optimize for the moment.

They choose comfort now.

And they pay for it later.

The 1%ers?

They optimize for the future.

They choose discipline now.

And they coast later.

Running PAS on Yourself

If you want to start making hard choices now for an easy life later, here's how:

1. Identify the Warnings Around You

Look around.

• Who's struggling?
• Who's suffering?
• Who's stuck?

Write it down. Be specific.

Pressure test: Can you name three people whose outcomes you want to avoid?

2. Ask the Two Questions

For each person:

Write the answers.

Pressure test: Are you being honest, or are you telling yourself, "That won't happen to me"?

3. Reverse-Engineer the Choices

What decisions led to their outcome?

What patterns?

What habits?

Then ask: "Am I making any of those same choices?

Pressure test: Are you willing to see your own blind spots?

4. Make One Hard Choice This Week

Pick one thing you've been avoiding because it's uncomfortable.

Do it.

Not because you have to.

Because it'll make life easier later.

Pressure test: Can you do the hard thing without justifying why you shouldn't?

5. Study the Examples

Find people 5–10 years ahead of where you want to be.

Study their choices.

Not their results—their process.

What are they doing that you're not?

Pressure test: Are you learning from winners, or are you surrounded by warnings?

6. Track the Compound Effect

Every hard choice compounds.

Every easy choice compounds.

Track both.

At the end of the month, ask: "Am I building or eroding?

Pressure test: Are you measuring, or are you guessing?

7. Commit to Playing Long

Make a list of your non-negotiables.

The things you'll protect no matter what.

Then protect them.

Pressure test: Do you have a long-term strategy, or are you reacting to whatever's loudest?

Put It on the Line: Your 72-Hour Challenge

Here's your challenge:

Identify one hard choice you've been avoiding.

Something you know you should do.

But you haven't.

Because it's uncomfortable. Because it's inconvenient. Because it's hard.

Then ask yourself:

"If I don't make this choice now, what will my life look like in 5 years? 10 years? 20 years?"

Agitate it. Make it real.

Then make the choice.

Within 72 hours.

At the end, ask:

"Was the discomfort of making the choice worse than the discomfort of avoiding it?"

Hit reply and tell me what happened.

Let's put it on the line.

The Standard That Separates the 1%

The best men I know aren't the ones who got lucky.

They're the ones who made hard choices early.

They studied the warnings.
They learned from other people's pain.
They delayed gratification.
They played the long game.

And now?

They're coasting.

Not because life is easy.

Because they made it easier by making hard choices when it mattered.

You're surrounded by examples and warnings.

Every single day.

The question is:

Are you learning from them?

Or are you becoming one?

Hard choices now.

Easy life later.

Now get on the mat.

—Chuck

⚔ The Dojo Drill

Today’s training:

The Opportunity Audit

Ask yourself:

Write three.

📚 Leader’s Library

Book I recommend this week:

​The Personal MBA — Josh Kaufman​

Why?

Because it's was one of my first and to this day, one of my favorite books, to learn about entrepreneurship, business and how to work on and with yourself and others.
​
(But get the paperback version, not the audio or digital, you will thank me later.)

P.S. Know a martial arts gym owner who’s stressed about money or student numbers?

Do them a favor: send them to The Leader's Dōjō, my website where I help owners get more students and keep them longer with simple systems.

One forward from you could change their gym: The Leader's Dōjō​

Chuck