The 110% Myth and the Wisdom of the Sine Wave

Growing up in the US, especially in the 70s and 80s, there was this relentless drumbeat of "giving 110%."

It was the mantra in construction, in martial arts, and pretty much everything else.

The idea was simple: push harder, grind more, and you'd reach your goals faster.

And for a long time, I bought into it hook, line, and sinker. It was my operating system for life.

But as any decent mathematician or psychologist will tell you, 110% isn't actually a thing.

You can only give your best, and even then, that "best" needs refueling.

It wasn't until my mid-30s, when I met my wife, Amy, that a better way, a more sustainable way, started to emerge. And it had been right in front of me the entire time.

​Amy is a truly phenomenal healer. She's a master of somatic therapy, working with people who live on the edge – the "normal-neurotics," as you might call them – struggling with stress, anxiety, and overwhelm.

Her work helps them find their footing, ground themselves, and reconnect with their inner joy, bringing peace to lives that feel like chaotic storms.

And I can tell you firsthand that her work is powerful, because in many ways, I was her first client.

When she was deep in her training, she came home one day with a statement that jolted me. "Honey," she said softly, "you're traumatized."

Now, if you know anything about trauma, you know that a direct statement like that can often trigger a rather… strong… reaction. And I didn't disappoint. "What the *&$# are you talking about?!?" I immediately shot back, my defense mechanisms firing on all cylinders.

Amy, with the calm wisdom of a seasoned practitioner, simply observed, "See... That was a pretty strong response to a statement. Don't you think that was a bit strong?"

"Oh…" It clicked.

She began teaching me about the sine wave of activation and deactivation.

Imagine a wave, constantly moving up and down. When we get "activated," maybe in response to stress or perceived threat, we move up the wave. But if we get "too high," if the activation is overwhelming, we can get stuck there, constantly hovering at that elevated threshold, easily triggered back into a state of high alert.

This sine wave, this constant flow between activation and deactivation, was the very essence of the Yin and Yang symbol I had been contemplating for years, even decades, in my martial arts practice and reading.

But my Western, male upbringing had skewed my focus. I had prioritized the Yang – the action, the force, the "doing" – to the detriment of the Yin – the rest, the restoration, the "being."

And that's the profound truth I want to share with you. If you truly want to be effective in your Yang pursuits – your goals, your dreams, your actions in the world – you must honor the Yin.

Without embracing the power of rest, restoration, and relaxation, you can't sustain your Yang efforts. You can't truly have one without the other.

They are two sides of the same, dynamic force.

The Unseen Power of the Pause: Embracing the Yin

So, you understand the basic idea now: the 110% dogma is a trap.

It's a recipe for burnout, not sustainable success. And the key to unlocking true, lasting Yang strength lies in embracing its opposite, the Yin.

But what does that actually mean?

It's more than just taking a nap, though naps are undeniably good. It's about a fundamental shift in how you approach energy, effort, and effectiveness.

Think of it like training in martial arts. You spend hours drilling techniques, pushing your body, testing your limits. That's pure Yang.

But if you don't allow your body to recover, if you don't stretch, hydrate, and get enough sleep, your progress will stagnate.

You'll be more prone to injury. Your reactions will slow down. Your mind will be foggy.

The Yin of recovery is what allows the Yang of training to actually build power and skill.

In construction, it’s the same deal. You can lay brick after brick, frame wall after wall. But you need to step back, assess your work, rest your body, and refuel.

Without that pause, that Yin energy, your precision will suffer, your body will break down, and the quality of your work will decline.

You can't build a solid structure by just relentlessly pushing forward without stopping to check your levels, sharpen your tools, or simply take a breath.

Our modern world, with its relentless pace and constant demands, is a superhighway of Yang. We're flooded with emails, notifications, to-do lists that never end.

We're encouraged to be always ON, always productive, always striving. And it's exhausting. This constant activation, this lack of deactivation, is why so many people are living on the edge of overwhelm, just like those Amy helps.

We're stuck at the peak of that sine wave, unable to fully descend and recharge.

The Yin is the essential counterbalance.

It's the stillness that allows for movement. It's the quiet that allows for connection. It's the rest that fuels action.

Ignoring the Yin is like trying to drive a car with an empty gas tank. You might push the pedal to the floor, but you're not going anywhere. In fact, you're probably doing damage to the engine.

So, how do we integrate more Yin into our lives?

It's not about becoming passive or lazy. Far from it.

It's about being strategic with your energy. It's about understanding that periods of rest and restoration are not antithetical to success, they are essential for it.

Here are some ways to cultivate your Yin:

• Prioritize Sleep: Seems obvious, right? But how many of us actually prioritize sleep? It's during sleep that your body and mind repair and consolidate. It's non-negotiable for optimal function. Aim for 7-9 hours of quality sleep.
• Embrace Deliberate Rest: This isn't just about sitting on the couch. It's about actively engaging in activities that promote relaxation and recovery. This could be:
  • Meditation or Mindfulness: Training your mind to be present and calm.
  • Deep Breathing Exercises: Simple yet powerful ways to lower your heart rate and calm your nervous system.
  • Spending Time in Nature: The natural world has a calming effect on the nervous system.
  • Light Exercise: Activities like walking, gentle yoga, or stretching can release tension and promote blood flow.
  • Hobbies You Enjoy: Engaging in activities purely for pleasure, without a goal or outcome in mind.
• Schedule Downtime: Just like you schedule meetings and deadlines, schedule time for rest and relaxation. Put it in your calendar. Protect that time fiercely.
• Learn to Say No: In a Yang-driven world, we often feel pressured to say yes to everything. Learning to set boundaries and say no to commitments that drain your energy is a powerful act of Yin.
• Disconnect: The constant barrage of digital information keeps us in a state of perpetual activation. Schedule periods where you unplug from your phone, email, and social media.
• Pay Attention to Your Body: Your body is constantly giving you signals. Are you tired? Stressed? Listen to those cues and respond with compassion and rest. Ignoring them is ignoring the Yin.
• Cultivate Stillness: Find moments throughout your day to просто be. Not doing, not planning, not consuming. Just sitting quietly, observing your thoughts without judgment.

The key is to recognize that the Yin is not the absence of Yang; it's the necessary foundation for it.

It's the fertile ground in which your Yang efforts can take root and flourish. Without the Yin, your Yang is like a fire without fuel – it will burn bright for a moment, but quickly die out.

​

Because, "the light that burns twice as bright burns half as long..."

Think back to the masters in action films – guys like McCall or Wick or Bourne. They aren't just relentless machines of action. They have moments of stillness, of observation, of recovery.

They understand when to push and when to pause. That's the wisdom of integrating the Yin. They leverage those moments of quiet to make their action later even more precise and powerful.

Ignoring the Yin also contributes to those negative habits and self-talk patterns we often fall into.

When you're constantly depleted, your mental resilience is weak. You're more likely to succumb to self-doubt, frustration, and anxiety.

You compound the exhaustion with negative internal dialogue.

Embracing the Yin strengthens your inner game, making you more capable of managing conflict, both external and internal.

Understanding the sine wave is understanding the natural rhythm of life. Energy flows in cycles – periods of high activity followed by periods of lower activity.

The universe itself operates this way. The seasons, the tides, the rising and setting of the sun.

We are part of this natural order, and when we try to force ourselves into a state of constant high activation, we are working against the current of possibility.

Put It On the Mat:
Integrating Yin for Real-World Power

Alright, enough theory. We've talked about the problem – the 110% myth and the neglect of the Yin. We've explored why the Yin is crucial for sustainable Yang.

Now, how do we actually do this?

How do we integrate the wisdom of the sine wave into our daily lives, off the training mat and in the grind of the real world? This is where the rubber meets the road.

You don't need to overhaul your entire life overnight.

Start small. Think of it like building muscle.

You don't start by lifting the heaviest weight.

You build up gradually.

Here are some concrete action steps you can take, starting today, to begin honoring your Yin:

1. The 5-Minute Reset: Find 5 minutes, right now, or sometime today, to simply sit quietly. No phone, no distractions, just you and your breath. Close your eyes if you feel comfortable. Notice how you feel. Is your breathing shallow? Are your shoulders tense? Just observe without judgment. This is your first step in recognizing your current state on the activation sine wave.
   ​Self-Assessment: How did that feel? Was it easy to stay still, or did your mind race?
2. Schedule Your Yin: Look at your calendar for the next week. Can you find one, just one, 30-minute block to dedicate to a Yin activity? It could be a walk in nature, reading a book for pleasure, meditating, or simply listening to calming music.
   ​Action: Block out that time now. Treat it like an important appointment you cannot miss.
   ​Self-Assessment: Did you actually schedule it? Are you committed to honoring that time?
3. Identify Your Activation Triggers: What situations or thoughts tend to push you towards that "too high" end of the sine wave? Is it a specific person? A deadline? News headlines? Become a detective in your own life, noticing what ramps you up.
   ​Action: Start keeping a simple note on your phone or a small notebook. Just jot down a trigger and how you felt. No need for analysis yet, just awareness.
   ​Self-Assessment: Are you noticing patterns in your triggers? What does it feel like in your body when you're triggered?
4. Implement a "Deactivation Ritual": Before you go to bed, create a simple routine that signals to your body and mind that it's time to wind down. This could be reading for 15 minutes, taking a warm bath, or doing some gentle stretching. Avoid screens during this time.
   ​Action: Choose one simple ritual and commit to doing it for the next three nights.
   ​Self-Assessment: Did you feel calmer before sleep? Did you fall asleep more easily?
5. The Power of the Pause (Mid-Activity): When you're in the middle of a demanding task, whether it's at work or home, try taking a conscious pause. Step away from your computer, stretch, take a few deep breaths, and just reset for 60 seconds.
   ​Action: Set a timer for a recurring 60-second break during a challenging work block tomorrow.
   ​Self-Assessment: Did that short pause actually help you feel more focused or less stressed when you returned to the task?
6. Reflect on Unfairness with a Yin Lens: We talked about how life's unfairness can be leveraged. When something feels unfair and it activates you, instead of immediately reacting with Yang energy (anger, frustration, trying to fix it all at once), pause. Lean into the Yin of acceptance and observation for a moment. What is the situation really? What is within your control, and what isn't? This pause allows for a more strategic, less reactive Yang response later.
   ​Action: The next time you encounter something that feels unfair, challenge yourself to take a 2-minute Yin pause before you react.
   ​Self-Assessment: Was your reaction different after taking that pause? Did you approach the situation with more clarity?

This isn't about becoming a completely different person. It's about finding balance.

It's about recognizing that true strength, true power, comes from the dynamic interplay of both the Yang and the Yin. By consciously integrating these practices into your life, you're not just surviving the demands of the world, you're thriving within them. You’re becoming more resilient, more focused, and ultimately, more effective in everything you do. You’re learning to ride the sine wave, not drown in it.

So, go forth. Put these simple steps on the mat. Experiment. See what works for you. Your Yang goals are important. Your dreams are valid. But to truly achieve them, sustainably and powerfully, you need to honor the quiet, restorative, and essential power of your Yin. Now go do it.

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P.S. We've talked a lot about the importance of balance – the crucial role the Yin plays in powering your Yang. You've heard my story about the 110% myth and discovering the sine wave.

Like you, I spent years just pushing harder, trying to force things, often feeling overwhelmed and like time was controlling me, not the other way around.

The truth is, you can have all the Yang energy in the world, but if you don't have a solid system for managing your time, your energy, and your focus, you'll always be fighting an uphill battle.

For 40 years, through brutal construction jobs, intense martial arts training, and the controlled chaos of everyday life, I've distilled everything I've learned about truly taking control of your time.

It's all in my 100-page ebook, Control Your Time, Control Your Life. This isn't just theory; it's the practical, battle-tested wisdom I use every single day to live the life I want, not the life I feel trapped by.

Inside, you’ll find actionable strategies to identify your specific time drains (your activation triggers!), implement effective Yin-like resets throughout your day, and build systems that support your Yang goals without burning you out.

Stop feeling like you're always chasing the clock. It's time to flip the script and make time work for you. You can get Control Your Time, Control Your Life right now for just $27.

​[Get it here!]​

Click here to grab your copy and start living life on your terms.

You've got the Yang drive; let's build the Yin systems to make it unstoppable.