Why Life’s Constant Flux Is the Best Thing That Can Happen to You

Life has a funny way of shaking us awake when we least expect it.

One moment, you feel like you’re coasting—things are under control, routines are locked in, and you’re confident in your path.

Then, out of nowhere, the rug gets pulled out from under you.

It could be a personal loss, a professional setback, or something as simple as seeing someone you once thought you were ahead of leapfrogging past you.

At first, it stings.

It can feel like life’s telling you, “You’re not as steady as you thought.”

But what if that’s the point?

What if the beauty of life is that it doesn’t stay the same—and that’s exactly what makes it worth living?

Let me share a story about how I learned this lesson, not in some grand epiphany, but in the quiet grind of life and on the BJJ mat.

The Unsteady Ground

A few months ago, I hit a wall.

My aunt, who had been a cornerstone of my life since I first moved to Los Angeles in 1986, passed away just after the New Year.

She had been in and out of the hospital/ICU during the holidays, missing Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years, and while we knew her health was fragile, her passing still came as a shock.

She wasn’t just family; she was part of the foundation I’d built my early life around.

In October, my cousin had taken her back to Hawaii for her 89th birthday—a celebration of a life well-lived.

Just months later, we were saying goodbye.

Emotionally, it hit me harder than I expected.

I found myself retreating, skipping my usual Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu classes—a routine that had been my anchor for the last year.

Some weeks, I didn’t show up at all.

My instructors and classmates noticed, reaching out to check in, which I appreciated, but I still couldn’t bring myself to train consistently.

Life felt off-balance, like I’d lost my footing.

Returning to the Mat

Eventually, I made my way back to the gym.

Not fully, not with the same energy or consistency, but enough to feel the mats under my feet again.

And that’s when I saw something that stopped me in my tracks.

One of my white belt classmates—someone I had rolled with many times—was on the mat.

In the past, I’d always had the upper hand with him.

He was newer, still figuring out his game, and I’d been able to get the better of him more often than not.

But this time was different.

Watching him roll, I saw a version of him I didn’t recognize.

He was smoother, more strategic, and clearly had a game plan.

His confidence had skyrocketed, and his movements were purposeful.

In just a few months, he had transformed his approach and, honestly, leapfrogged me in skill.

For a moment, I felt the sting.

That little voice whispered, “You’ve been left behind.”

But then, something else kicked in.

I remembered how many times this exact scenario had played out before.

Over 20 years of Hapkido, I’d watched training partners surpass me time and again.

And instead of feeling discouraged, I always found a way to turn it into fuel.

The Gift of Falling Behind

Life is constantly in flux.

It doesn’t matter if you’re on the mat, at work, or navigating relationships—there’s always someone improving, moving faster, or adapting quicker than you.

And when you’re standing still (or in my case, struggling just to show up), it can feel like you’re being left behind.

But here’s the truth.

This isn’t something to fear.

It’s something to embrace.

Watching my classmate evolve reminded me of an important lesson—one that martial arts has taught me again and again: stagnation is the real enemy, not the flux.

Life isn’t static, and neither are we.

Growth happens in the discomfort, in the moments when we realize we need to adapt or risk becoming obsolete.

What’s beautiful about this constant change is that it keeps us sharp.

It forces us to reevaluate our approach, to try new strategies, and to evolve in ways we might not have otherwise.

If my classmate hadn’t leapfrogged me, I might have returned to the mat just going through the motions, sticking to what I already knew.

But now?

I’ve got work to do, and I’m excited about it.

Why Change Is a Gift

Imagine if life didn’t change.

If every situation, every relationship, every skill stayed the same forever.

At first, it might sound comforting—no surprises, no disruptions.

But think about it: what kind of life would that be?

Without change, there’s no growth.

Without growth, there’s no challenge.

And without challenge, there’s no joy in the victory when you finally overcome.

The flux of life is what makes it rich.

It’s what pushes you to become better—not just on the mat or in your career, but as a person.

It’s what allows you to discover parts of yourself you didn’t know existed.

For me, seeing my classmate’s progress wasn’t just a wake-up call to step up my BJJ game.

It was a reminder that even when life feels unsteady, it’s an opportunity to learn, adapt, and grow.

The Mat as a Mirror for Life

One of the reasons I keep coming back to martial arts—whether it’s Hapkido or BJJ—is because the mat is the perfect metaphor for life.

On the mat, you’re constantly confronted with flux.

One day, you’re the one dominating, hitting all your moves, feeling invincible.

The next, you’re getting smashed, wondering if you’ve forgotten everything you ever learned.

But here’s the secret:

• Every time you get smashed, you learn.
• Every time you struggle, you adapt.
• And every time you adapt, you grow.

The same is true off the mat.

When life throws you a curveball—like losing a loved one, hitting a plateau at work, or watching someone surpass you—it’s not a sign that you’re failing.

It’s an invitation to evolve.

How to Embrace the Flux

If you’re feeling stuck or left behind, here’s a simple way to reframe it:

1. Observe, Don’t Compare: Instead of comparing yourself to others, observe what they’re doing differently. What can you learn from their progress?
2. Recommit to Growth: Use the discomfort as fuel. What’s one small step you can take today to improve, whether it’s showing up, trying something new, or doubling down on the basics?
3. Stay Playful: Treat the flux as a game. On the mat, I’ve learned to laugh when I get caught in a submission—it’s part of the process. In life, the same applies. Keep things light, and don’t take yourself too seriously.
4. Trust the Process: Remember, growth isn’t linear. Some days you’ll feel like you’re making leaps, and others you’ll feel like you’re sliding backward. But as long as you keep showing up, you’re moving forward.

Don't Rest On Your Laurels

Life’s constant flux isn’t something to fight against—it’s something to embrace.

Whether it’s a personal loss, a setback, or watching someone surpass you in an area you care about, these moments are gifts in disguise.

They remind us that nothing is static.

That growth is always possible.

And that the journey is so much more rewarding when we lean into the process, rather than resist it.

For me, the mat has been my mirror.

It’s shown me that being “left behind” isn’t a failure—it’s a spark.

It’s an invitation to adapt, evolve, and rise again.

So the next time life feels unsteady, remember: this is your chance to grow.

To rewrite your game plan.

To show yourself what you’re capable of.

Because in the end, it’s not about staying ahead—it’s about staying in the game.

And that’s where the real victory lies.