The Secret of the Square, Triangle, and Circle

The Wrong Hammer for the Wrong Nail

When I was 26, I was sent to work on an industrial electrical crew out at a water treatment plant.

Just rigid conduit, stainless steel boxes, and the constant smell of well, a waste treatment plant.

I'll leave it at that, lol.

First big project of my life.

One morning, the foreman barked at me to go hang panels along a steel frame wall.

I had watched the other guys do it a dozen times.

Drill the holes, tap the anchors, bolt it down.

Easy.

But that day I made the mistake of grabbing the wrong anchors.

The anchors I grabbed were for interior locations, not the stainless (expensive!) anchors needed for the exterior industrial requirements.

Everything I installed was wrong and needed to be redone.

I was embarrassed, frustrated and worried I was going to get smoked.

One of the old-timers came up to me,

That line stuck with me.

Because it’s not enough to know what to do.

And it’s not even enough to know how to do it.

You have to know when and why.

That’s the difference between failure and mastery.

Not effort.

Not intention.

But timing and understanding.

And that brings us to the deeper truth of life—most people fail not because they don’t try hard enough, but because they don’t apply the right strategy at the right time.

Let me show you how to change that.

Why Most People Fail Despite Doing All the “Right” Things

We live in a world obsessed with shortcuts.

• “Just tell me what to do!”
• “Show me the roadmap!”
• “Give me the 10-step system!”

Look—I get it.

I’ve bought those programs.

I’ve read the books.

I’ve even written some.

There’s a place for tactics.

But there’s a problem most people don’t see until it’s too late:

• What worked for someone else won’t necessarily work for you.
• What worked once won’t work every time.
• And what works today may fail tomorrow.

Because tactics are situational.

They're context-dependent.

And without understanding why they work, they eventually stop working.

That’s why the truly successful—those who rise above trends and waves—don’t chase tactics. They study something deeper.

They understand the difference between principles, strategies, and tactics.

The Hierarchy of Mastery:
Principles > Strategies > Tactics

1. Tactics: The “What”

Tactics are actions.

The things you do:

• Make a cold call
• Use this hook in your email
• Use this sweep in a match

Tactics are valuable—but only if they’re used at the right time.

Too many people try to copy tactics without context. It’s like trying to use a hammer when you need a scalpel.

That’s why the guy who copies a successful morning routine never gets the same results. It’s not about the action, it’s about the alignment behind the action.

2. Strategies: The “How”

Strategies are the patterns behind the tactics.

They answer: How do I win the game?

These are things like:

• Play defense until they make a mistake.
• Use leverage instead of force.
• Create demand before you make an offer.

Strategies are better than tactics because they account for context and adaptation. But here’s the issue—strategies still assume a certain environment.

As Sun Tzu said,

A business strategy that worked in 2019 might kill you in 2025.

A fighting strategy that works on white belts might fail against a black belt. And a dating strategy that worked in college probably won't fly when you’re trying to build a family.

So what do you turn to when the strategies don’t fit?

3. Principles: The “Why”

Principles are universal.

They don’t change with time, place, or opponent.

They’re the underlying forces that govern the flow of life.

They answer: Why does this work?

They show you the flow of energy, so you can adapt your strategy and pick the right tactic.

In BJJ, we train with three shapes:

• The Square: Be grounded. Immovable. Strong.
• The Circle: Be flowing. Adaptive. Soft.
• The Triangle: Be focused. Sharp. Penetrating.

You don’t pick one. You shift between them depending on the moment.

The principle is knowing when to stand firm, when to yield, and when to strike.

This is true in every domain—business, love, leadership, fitness.

Life isn’t a checklist.

It’s a dance with chaos.

Those who thrive know how to sense the music and change their step accordingly.

How to Use the Right Strategy at the Right Time

Let’s break it down.

🔲 Be the Square: When Stability Is Required

• When you’re building habits
• When you’re creating structure or discipline
• When you’re under attack and need to hold the line

Square energy is about endurance. About being the mountain, not the breeze.

Use this when the situation calls for consistency, structure, and reliability.

This is “wake up at 5 AM every day” energy. “Show up no matter what” energy.

But try to use this energy in a time that requires flexibility? You break.

🔵 Be the Circle: When Adaptability Is Key

• When conditions are changing
• When you’re learning or starting over
• When confrontation will cost more than cooperation

Circle energy is about flow. It’s water adapting to the shape of the cup.

It’s listening more than speaking. It’s yielding to redirect.

Use this when navigating sensitive situations, building relationships, or trying something new.

But try to be too soft when you need to strike? You get stepped on.

🔺 Be the Triangle: When Precision Is Needed

• When it’s time to make a move
• When you’ve prepared, waited, and now must act
• When hesitation will cost you the opportunity

Triangle energy is about focus.

Penetration.

Precision.

It’s the cold decision to make the move now.

It’s launching the product, asking her out, making the call.

Use this when the window is open, and you’ve got one shot.

But try to rush in without stability or flow? You’ll crash.

Real-Life Example:
Why Some Businesses Fail and Others Pivot

During COVID, I watched two types of businesses:

• Some doubled down on their strategy. They went harder on tactics that used to work. They broke.
• Others returned to principles. They asked, “What do people need now? Where is the energy moving?” Then they adapted. Pivoted. Survived.

Success wasn’t about who had better tactics.

It was about who could feel the flow of energy and apply the right strategy at the right time.

This isn’t just business.

This is life.

Putting It On the Mat

Let me take you back to a private BJJ session I had with Professor Josh.

We were drilling triangles from guard.

My execution was clean.

My posture was tight.

Everything looked technically right.

But every time I went for the triangle, it failed.

I’d lock it up, and somehow my training partner would squirm out.

Over and over.

I started getting frustrated.

“What am I doing wrong?” I asked.

Josh watched silently, then said something that felt like a slap and a blessing all in one:

He explained that the triangle works when your opponent’s posture is broken, not when they’re braced and square.

I was applying a perfect tactic without the right timing or energy behind it.

In that moment, something clicked.

It’s not enough to master techniques.

It’s not enough to have a great strategy.

You have to read the moment—and respond with the appropriate energy.

I see this now everywhere:

• The guy who pitches too early before building trust.
• The woman who stays grounded when life is asking her to flow.
• The kid who keeps asking for tactics but refuses to understand the principles.

So here’s my challenge to you:

1. Stop asking “What should I do?” and start asking “What is the energy of this moment?”

• Is this time to be still or to move?
• Is this time to hold or to release?
• Is this time to adapt or to strike?

2. Match your energy to the moment.

• Be the Square when the world needs your strength.
• Be the Circle when the world asks for your softness.
• Be the Triangle when the world opens and begs you to act.

3. Build your life on principles, not preferences.​
The world is changing fast. But principles? They’ve outlived empires.

So don’t just train your body.
Don’t just sharpen your mind.
Cultivate your awareness.

So when the moment comes—on the mat, on the job, in the arena of life—you won’t guess.

You’ll know.

And you’ll act.

• That’s what makes a warrior.
• That’s what makes a leader.
• That’s what makes a badass.

So what are you facing right now?
And which energy is it calling for?

Decide.

Align.

Move.

Now go put it on the mat.

P.S. The most important principle to understand for success: If you don't control your time, you will never control your life.

Get Control Your Time, Control Your Life if you want to be happier, healthier, and more successful.