The Hidden-in-Plain-View Secret to Becoming a Badass: Why Sunday Open Mat Changed Everything for Me

If you want to up your game, stop training with people at your level. Find the ones who will take you past your line.

I love Sunday open mats at Meraki.​

And the reason why is the hidden-in-plain-view secret to upping your game at anything.

Here’s why.

When most people are sleeping in, relaxing, going to the beach or the park—all important things for busy modern life and recharging the batteries, don’t get me wrong—there are the rare few who would rather “relax” by rolling on the mat.

For them, martial arts isn’t something they “do.”

It’s something they “are.”

And that distinction makes all the difference.

Because the people who show up on Sunday morning when nobody’s making them? When there’s no class schedule to follow? When the only reason to be there is because they want to be?

Those are the 20% of the 20%.

And training with them is the fastest way to level up that most people completely overlook.

The Math Most People Don’t Do

I’ve talked about the 80/20 Rule before. But let’s go deeper.

In every group, there’s an 80/20 split. 80% are average. 20% are above average.

But the split doesn’t stop there.

Of the 20%ers, there’s the top 20% of that group. That’s the top 4%.

And of the top 4%, there’s the top 20% of that group. That’s the top 0.8%—the 1%ers.

Now flip it.

The 80% of the 80% is 64%. The bottom-tier 80%ers? That’s over half the population at 51.2%.

Think about that for a moment.

For every super-badass 1%er, the flip side is that over half the group are top-tier 80%ers bringing everything down.

Half the group is actively pulling the average lower.

So when you choose who you train with, who you work with, who you spend your time with—you’re not just choosing company.

You’re choosing your ceiling.

What Happened With Professor D

Let me tell you what happened the other day.

I was rolling with Professor D. A guy who’s been doing martial arts for over forty years. BJJ specifically for almost three decades.

Where does that put him in the 80/20 progression? He’s so far into the 1% that the percentages don’t even capture it.

He had me in a body-lock triangle that I had never been in before.

I’ll admit it. I was at a loss.

In a position I had yet to experience. He was closing in the triangle. Crushing my chest.

I tapped.

He said, “No, work out of it.”

I tried. Weakly. I tapped again.

Again he said, “No, the choke’s not in.”

Now, before some of you go off about “respect the tap”—you have to understand the relationship that D and I have built over the last two and a half years.

Every week, he and I roll. We have fun. We have a blast.

And inevitably, at some point, he will take me right past my “line.”

​Red-lining me a little bit. To see where my line is. To see if it’s getting higher. Flat-lining. Or if I’m slacking off.

That’s what training partners at the 1% level do. They test you. Not to hurt you. To grow you.

When he did let me out of the triangle—head hanging low because I didn’t find the way out—I told him I tapped because it hurt.

In classic blue-collar language, he told me: “So what? You fight through that shit!”

I immediately understood. And I fist-bumped him, thanking him for the reminder.

Then he showed me why there was no tap.

Yes, it was painful. But the choke wasn’t in. I had a lot of space between my neck and his thigh. My shoulder wasn’t up against my neck. There was no risk of the submission.

He then put me back in the position so I could feel the actual choke from this new angle. So I could feel how much space he’d been giving me while I was tapping.

The difference between discomfort and danger. Between pain and submission. Between my perceived limit and my actual limit.

I would never have learned that distinction training with someone at my level.

Only a 1%er could show me that.

Why Most People Never Level Up

Here’s the problem:

Most people train with people at their level. Or below.

Not deliberately. It just happens naturally.

You gravitate toward people who make you comfortable. People who don’t push you too hard. People who let you feel good about where you are.

And that feels nice.

But it doesn’t make you better.

Because when you train with people at your level, you reinforce your current abilities. You don’t expand them.

When you train with people below your level, you feel like a badass. But you’re not growing. You’re just dominating.

The only way to genuinely level up is to train with people who are significantly better than you.

People who expose your weaknesses. Who show you positions you’ve never been in. Who take you past your line and show you that your line was lower than it needed to be.

That’s uncomfortable. That’s humbling. That’s ego-bruising.

And that’s exactly why most people avoid it.

The Secret That’s Hidden in Plain View

Here’s the secret:

The fastest way to get better at anything is to spend time with people who are dramatically better than you.

Not slightly better. Dramatically better.

Not people who challenge you a little. People who overwhelm you.

Because when you’re overwhelmed, you learn things you can’t learn any other way.

You learn where your real limits are—not your perceived limits.

You learn what you don’t know—not just what you do know.

You learn what’s possible—not just what’s comfortable.

And you learn it fast.

One roll with Professor D teaches me more than ten rolls with someone at my level.

Not because those rolls aren’t valuable. They are.

But the 1%er shows me things I can’t even see from where I’m standing.

This Applies to Everything

This isn’t just about martial arts.

This applies to everything.

In business: If you want to level up, spend time with people who are building at a level you can’t even comprehend yet. Not people who are one step ahead. People who are ten steps ahead.

In your career: If you want to advance, find the person in your industry who’s at the absolute top. Study them. Learn from them. Get in their orbit if you can.

In your relationships: If you want to be a better partner, learn from couples who’ve been together for decades and are still genuinely happy. Not from people who are struggling like you.

In your thinking: If you want to think better, read the people who are thinking at a level that makes your head hurt. Not the people who confirm what you already believe.

The principle is the same:

You rise to the level of the people you surround yourself with.

And if you surround yourself with 80%ers, you’ll become an 80%er.

If you surround yourself with 1%ers, you’ll start moving toward the 1%.

Why Sunday Open Mat Is the Secret

Here’s why Sunday open mat is the hidden-in-plain-view secret:

It’s a natural filter for the 20% of the 20%.

The people who show up on Sunday morning aren’t there because they have to be. There’s no scheduled class. No obligation. No external pressure.

They’re there because this is who they are.

They’re the ones who would rather roll than sleep in. Who would rather train than relax. Who see martial arts not as a hobby but as a way of life.

And when you train with those people, the energy is different.

The intensity is higher. The focus is sharper. The learning is deeper.

Because everyone on that mat chose to be there. And that choice says everything about who they are.

How to Find Your 1%ers

Here’s how you apply this to your life:

Step 1: Identify the arena.

What’s the area of your life where you want to level up?

Your career? Your health? Your relationships? Your craft? Your leadership?

Pick one.

Step 2: Find the 1%ers in that arena.

Who are the people who are dramatically better than you? Not slightly better. Dramatically.

The ones who make you feel like a white belt again.

They might be in your existing network. They might be in a community you haven’t joined yet. They might be authors, teachers, or mentors you haven’t reached out to.

Find them.

Step 3: Get in their orbit.

This is the hard part. Because 1%ers are busy. They’re selective. They don’t have time for everyone.

So you have to earn your way in.

Show up consistently. Demonstrate commitment. Add value before you ask for it.

Be the person who shows up on Sunday morning when nobody’s making them.

That’s how you get noticed by the 1%ers. Not by asking for their time. By proving you’re worth it.

Step 4: Be willing to get crushed.

When you train with 1%ers, you’re going to get your ass kicked.

That’s the point.

You’re going to be in positions you’ve never been in. You’re going to feel overwhelmed. You’re going to want to tap—not because you’re in danger, but because you’re uncomfortable.

Don’t tap to discomfort. Tap to danger.

Learn the difference. That’s the lesson Professor D taught me.

Your perceived limits are almost always lower than your actual limits.

And the only way to discover your actual limits is to have someone push you past your perceived ones.

Step 5: Study what they do differently.

When you’re in the orbit of a 1%er, don’t just absorb the beating. Study them.

What do they do that you don’t? How do they think? How do they move? How do they approach problems?

The gap between you and them isn’t just skill. It’s perspective. It’s approach. It’s mindset.

Study all of it.

Step 6: Apply what you learn immediately.

Don’t just collect insights. Apply them.

The next roll. The next meeting. The next conversation. The next project.

Take what the 1%er showed you and put it into practice immediately.

Because knowledge without application is just entertainment.

What Professor D Teaches Me Every Week

Every week, Professor D teaches me something. Not always a technique. Sometimes it’s a principle. Sometimes it’s a mindset.

But the most important thing he teaches me is where my line actually is.

Because I think my line is here. And he shows me it’s actually way over there.

I think I need to tap. He shows me I have space I didn’t know about.

I think I’m in danger. He shows me I’m just uncomfortable.

And that distinction—between discomfort and danger, between perceived limits and actual limits—is the most valuable lesson anyone can teach you.

Because once you learn that your limits are further out than you thought, you start operating differently.

You stop quitting at discomfort. You start pushing through to your actual edge.

And your actual edge? It’s a lot further out than you think.

The Cost of Training With 80%ers

Here’s the flip side:

If you only train with 80%ers, you’ll never discover your real limits.

You’ll stay comfortable. You’ll feel good about yourself. You’ll win a lot.

But you won’t grow.

Because 80%ers can’t show you what you don’t know. They can’t take you to positions you’ve never been in. They can’t push you past your line.

They can only confirm where you already are.

And confirmation isn’t growth. It’s stagnation dressed up as success.

Putting It On the Mat of Life to Be a 1%er

Here’s what I want you to do this week:

Identify one 1%er in your life.

Someone who is dramatically better than you at something you care about.

Then find a way to get in their orbit.

Show up where they show up. Ask if you can train with them, work with them, learn from them.

And when you do, be willing to get crushed.

Be willing to feel like a white belt again. Be willing to discover that your limits are further out than you thought.

Because that’s where the growth is.

Not in the comfortable rolls with people at your level. Not in the easy wins against people below you.

In the humbling, ego-bruising, limit-expanding experience of training with someone who is so much better than you that it changes how you see yourself.

That’s the hidden-in-plain-view secret.

Find your Professor D. And show up on Sunday morning.

Who’s the 1%er you need to get in front of?