Stop Waiting for Permission to Move: Why the Biggest Thing Holding You Back Is Your Own Dependency

If you can’t figure out how to make progress alone, you’ll never make progress at all.

I see it every day.

People giving me the “reasons” why they can’t move forward.

• “I’m waiting for my business partner to finish his part.”
• “I can’t start until my boss gives me the go-ahead.”
• “I need my coworker to do their job before I can do mine.”
• “I’m waiting for the right time.”

And while I’m not saying those issues aren’t real—they are—the more you tell yourself you can’t move forward, the more your brain believes it.

You’re training your mind to see obstacles instead of options. To see dependency instead of independence. To see walls instead of doors.

And that’s a habit. A bad one.

Because there is almost always something you can do to move forward. Even if it’s just a crawl.

But most people don’t look for it.

Because waiting is easier than figuring it out.

What I Learned Pulling Wire by Myself

In construction, it is very much a team effort.

Especially on multi-million and billion-dollar projects. That was one thing I loved about it—being part of something so big that no little mom-and-pop shop or solopreneur could tackle it alone.

But that didn’t mean I had to wait for others to make progress.

Take wire-pulling, for example.

You would think it’s at least a two-man job. If not more guys. You’ve got wire reels, wire carts, conduit entries, long runs through ceilings and walls.

But I learned that not every wire pull required two guys.

I learned how to set up the wire reels and the wire carts and the wire entry into the conduit in ways where I could often just pull the wire by myself.

Was it easy? No.

But it meant I could sometimes do the work of two without needing another guy. Without waiting around for another guy. Getting more done while everyone else was standing around waiting for their partner to show up.

And I enjoyed the mental exercise.

Figuring out: How can I do this by myself? Without killing myself? Without needing to work with an 80%er because I couldn’t always be partnered with another 20%er?

That mental exercise—the habit of asking “How can I move forward on my own?”—became one of the most valuable skills I ever developed.

What I Learned Drilling Solo on the Mat

The same thing happened in martial arts.

You would think you can’t learn techniques without a body to practice on and with.

But there are a ton of solo drills you can do to improve without hoping someone else will show up on the mat to train.

I did hundreds of hours and thousands of drills by myself.

Getting on the mat around 3 in the afternoon. Working out for a couple of hours before other students showed up for the evening classes.

• punching drills in the mirror, against the makiwara and the heavy bag
• practicing breakfalls on the crash pad, setting up high obstacles to run and fall over
• kicking exercises and mobility / footwork drills to learn to create and take advantage of space (maai)

Was it as good as training with a partner?

Sometimes. But that would also depend on the partner and their level of commitment to training.

At least I knew that when I was doing solo drills, I had a consistent partner to train with.

Me.

I could control the intensity. The focus. The number of reps. The quality of practice.

No waiting. No depending. No hoping someone else would show up.

And when training partners did show up, I was sharper. More prepared. More capable.

Because I’d already put in the work.

The Dependency Trap

Here’s the pattern I see over and over:

People get stuck because they’re waiting for someone else to move before they feel they can move.

• At work: “I can’t finish my part until they finish theirs.”
• In business: “I can’t launch until my partner does his piece.”
• In relationships: “I can’t be happy until they change.”
• In life: “I can’t move forward until the conditions are right.”

And every time you tell yourself that, you give your power away.

You hand control of your progress to someone else. Someone who may not share your timeline. Someone who may not share your standards. Someone who may not care about your goals as much as you do.

And then you wait.

And while you’re waiting, you’re not just standing still. You’re actually moving backward.

Because the world doesn’t stop while you wait. Other people are moving. Opportunities are passing. Time is ticking.

And you’re standing there with your hands in your pockets, waiting for permission to move.

Why Your Brain Does This

Here’s the psychology behind it:

Waiting feels productive. But it’s actually avoidance.

When you say “I’m waiting for X before I can do Y,” your brain registers that as progress.

You’ve identified the bottleneck.

You’ve named the dependency.

You feel like you’re being responsible and realistic.

But you’re not making progress. You’re making excuses.

And your brain loves excuses.

Because excuses protect you from the discomfort of figuring things out.

From the effort of finding a workaround.

From the risk of doing something imperfectly on your own.

Waiting is comfortable. Figuring it out is not.

And most people choose comfortable every time.

The Mindset Shift: From “I Can’t Until” to “What Can I Do Now?”

Here’s the shift that changes everything:

Stop asking “What am I waiting for?” Start asking “What can I do right now?”

Not “What can I do when they finish their part?” But “What can I do right now, with what I have, by myself?”

There is almost always an answer.

Maybe it’s not the ideal next step. Maybe it’s not the most efficient path. Maybe it’s just a crawl forward instead of a sprint.

But a crawl forward is infinitely better than standing still.

And here’s what happens when you start crawling:

Your brain starts looking for more ways to move.

Because you’ve trained it to look for options instead of obstacles. To see what’s possible instead of what’s blocked.

And before you know it, those crawls become steps. Those steps become trots. Those trots become runs.

And you’re ahead of the crowd. While everyone else is still standing around waiting for permission to move.

How to Stop Waiting and Start Moving

​Learn from Bruce Lee.​

Here’s how you do it:

Step 1: Identify where you’re stuck.

Where in your life are you waiting for someone or something before you can move forward?

Write it down. Be specific.

• “I’m waiting for my partner to finish the website before I can start marketing.”
• “I’m waiting for my boss to approve the project before I can begin.”
• “I’m waiting for my coworker to send me the data before I can do my analysis.”

Name the dependency.

Step 2: Ask “What can I do without them?”

This is the critical question.

The one most people never ask.

What can you do right now, by yourself, without waiting for anyone else?

• Can you start drafting the marketing copy even though the website isn’t done?
• Can you begin the preliminary research even though the project isn’t approved?
• Can you build the analysis framework even though you don’t have the data yet?

There is almost always something you can do.

Step 3: Do the ugly version.

Most people wait because they want to do things perfectly.

In the right order.

With all the pieces in place.

But the ugly version done now is better than the perfect version done never.

Pull the wire by yourself even if it’s harder. Do the solo drills even if it’s not as good as having a partner. Write the first draft even if it’s rough.

Progress doesn’t have to be pretty. It just has to be progress.

Step 4: Build the habit of independent action.

Every time you move forward without waiting, you’re building a neural pathway.

You’re training your brain to look for options instead of obstacles.

And the more you do it, the stronger that pathway becomes. Until it becomes your default.

Until your first response to any obstacle isn’t “I can’t until…” but “What can I do now?”

Step 5: Enjoy the mental exercise.

This is the part most people miss.

Figuring out how to move forward on your own is a skill.

And like any skill, it gets better with practice.

I enjoyed figuring out how to pull wire by myself. It was a puzzle. A challenge. A mental exercise that made me sharper.

Treat your obstacles the same way.

Don’t resent them. Don’t complain about them. Solve them.

Figure out the workaround. Find the solo drill. Build the ugly version.

That mental exercise is what separates the 20%ers from the 80%ers.

Step 6: Use the momentum.

Here’s what happens when you start moving on your own:

Other people start moving too.

Because momentum is contagious. When you’re making progress, it creates pressure on everyone else to keep up.

And suddenly, the person you were waiting for starts moving faster.

Not because you asked them to. But because your momentum created urgency.

That’s the power of independent action. It doesn’t just move you forward. It moves everyone forward.

What This Looks Like in Real Life

Here’s a real example:

In my new business, I could easily spend all day waiting.

Waiting for a potential client to respond to my email. Waiting for a partner to finish their deliverable. Waiting for the market to be “ready.”

But I don’t wait.

• While I’m waiting for the client to respond, I’m reaching out to ten more.
• While I’m waiting for the partner to finish, I’m building the next piece of the project.
• While I’m waiting for the market, I’m developing skills that will serve me regardless of market conditions.

I’m pulling wire by myself.

Not because I don’t need help. Not because collaboration isn’t important.

But because I refuse to let someone else’s timeline dictate my progress.

The Solo Drill Principle

Here’s the principle I want you to take away:

For every skill, every project, every goal—there is a solo drill.

Something you can do by yourself. Without waiting. Without depending. Without hoping someone else shows up.

Find it. Do it. Repeat it.

• In your career: What can you learn, build, or prepare without waiting for your boss’s approval?
• In your business: What can you create, test, or improve without waiting for your partner?
• In your relationships: What can you work on in yourself without waiting for the other person to change?
• On the mat: What can you drill alone that will make you better when you do have a partner?

There is always a solo drill.

Always.

The Challenge to Step Up

Here’s what I want you to do this week:

Identify one area where you’re stuck because you’re waiting for someone or something.

Then ask:

What can I do right now, by myself, to move forward?

Then do it.

Not perfectly. Not ideally. Just forward.

A crawl is still progress.

And before you know it, those crawls will become steps. Those steps will become trots. Those trots will become runs.

And you’ll be ahead of the crowd.

While everyone else is still standing around, waiting for permission to move.

Crawling to the Finish Line

Too often, people get stuck in life, at work, and in relationships because they’re waiting for someone else to move before they feel they can move.

And that takes all of their power away.

Learn to exercise your brain. See how you might be able to make progress on your own. Even if it’s only a crawl forward.

That’s still better than standing still.

And before you know it, all of those little crawls exercise your brain into taking steps, then trots, then running ahead of the crowd.

Stop waiting. Start moving.

Find your solo drill. Pull the wire by yourself. Get on the mat alone.

Because the person you’re waiting for? They might never show up.

But you’re already here.

What’s the one thing you’ve been waiting on that you could start moving on today?

⚔ The Dojo Drill

Today’s training:

Ask yourself three questions.

1. Where am I?
2. How did I get here?
3. Where do I want to go?

Write your answers down.

Clarity begins with honesty.

📚 Leader’s Library

Book I recommend this week:

​The War of Art – Steven Pressfield​

Why?

Because resistance is the invisible enemy.

🧠 Warrior Question

What’s one habit you know you should fix…

…but keep avoiding?

Hit reply and tell me.

I read every response.

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🏯 Work With Me

If you want help building real discipline, direction, and leadership:

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Hit Reply and tell me what you need help with.

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Chuck