The Price of the Kill:
Why Most People Fail to Win

The Real Price of Earning My 2nd-Dan Black Belt

I remember the sound of my own breathing—heavy, uneven, desperate.

It was during my 2nd-degree black belt test in Hapkido. I had already trained for years and thought I knew what hard meant. But this test broke new ground.

The kicking portion alone was one of the most grueling things I’ve ever done. Not just physically demanding—mentally crushing. Kicking, non-stop, with precision, height, and speed. Not just “enough to pass”—you had to push through the pain and doubt, while keeping form sharp. I had heard stories of candidates blowing out knees, tearing hamstrings, or collapsing mid-test. That thought was in the back of my mind. But you don’t quit. You commit.

Then came the sparring.

Not just one-on-one—but against two attackers at once, then against more senior black belts, each more experienced, more dangerous. And everyone watching.

I wasn’t trying to “win.” I was trying to survive—and prove that I belonged.

What got me through wasn’t skill. It was willingness.

Willingness to fail publicly. Willingness to dig deeper when my legs were jelly and my lungs on fire. Willingness to pay the price.

Because that’s the truth:

That day, I didn’t just pass a test. I crossed a threshold. I learned a lesson that most people never will:

And without payment, you don’t get the kill.

Most People Don’t Know What They Want

Ask a young man what he wants, and you’ll usually get fog.

• “I want to be successful.”
• “I want to travel.”
• “I want to do something meaningful.”

But what does that mean?

You can’t win a fight if you don’t know your target. You can’t build a house without blueprints. Yet most people live life like they’re just swinging in the dark.

Fix it:​
Be precise.

• “I want to make $120,000 a year doing work I believe in.”
• “I want a fit body, 185 pounds, 12% body fat.”
• “I want to marry someone who is strong, kind, and laughs at my dumb jokes.”

Why it matters:​
Vague goals = vague results.

Clarity makes sacrifice worth it. If you don’t know exactly what you’re fighting for, the price will always seem too high.

Everything Has a Price — Even Staying the Same

Every choice in life has a cost.

You want to be strong? It’ll cost you time, effort, sore muscles, and discipline.

You want to build a business? Expect long hours, self-doubt, and mistakes.

You want real love? Prepare to be vulnerable, patient, and uncomfortable.

But the sneakiest cost?

• Skip the gym → stay weak.
• Avoid risk → stay broke.
• Don’t open up → stay alone.

We pay no matter what—but some payments lead to a life worth living.

Wanting Without Willingness = Suffering

You’ve probably met guys like this:

They want to be jacked—but skip the gym.

They want to date high-quality women—but avoid rejection.

They want freedom—but won’t do hard work.

This mismatch causes misery. They suffer—not because the dream is wrong, but because their actions don’t match.

Two ways out:

1. Shrink the dream to match your effort.
2. Raise your effort to match your dream.

Pick one. Don’t lie to yourself.

The Moment You Accept the Price, You Become Free

People waste energy fighting reality.

• “Why does it take so long?”
• “Why is it so hard?”
• “Why can’t I just have it easier?”

Because nothing worth having comes cheap. Ever.

When you stop whining and just accept the price—it gets lighter.

You don’t resent soreness; you expected it.

You don’t flinch at failure; you studied it.

You walk into discomfort the way warriors step onto the mat—focused, aware, calm.

Acceptance is freedom.

You Can’t Steal Mastery—It’s Paid in Full, Up Front

You don’t borrow a black belt.

You don’t cheat your way into being strong, wise, or respected.

Mastery demands everything—your time, your attention, your pride.

The samurai maxim says:

It’s not about literal combat—it’s about commitment. You must risk pain, loss, and ego death to win what matters.

No shortcuts. No discounts.

Only payment.

When You’ve Paid, You Don’t Have to Prove

There’s a different kind of confidence in men who’ve paid the price.

They don’t brag. They don’t posture.

They don’t need to.

• That business? They built it.
• That belt? They earned it.
• That life? They paid for it in full.

Effort speaks for itself.

You can feel it in the handshake. In the silence. In the way they look you in the eye.

It’s the weight of receipts.

The Market Is Fair. Life Is a Trade.

Life is brutally fair. Not kind. Not easy. But fair.

It rewards those who trade well.

• Trade comfort for strength.
• Trade ignorance for wisdom.
• Trade distraction for focus.

Everything you want is already on the shelf. But it’s not free.

Time to stop window shopping.

Time to start trading.

Putting It On the Mat

Amy’s Healing Practice — What It Really Took

When Amy started her healing practice, she wasn’t short on talent. She could read a room with her body. She could help people drop trauma they’d held for years.

But healing work doesn’t sell itself.

She needed clients, scheduling, referrals, structure—business.

And while she was deep in her training, I stepped in to support the other half: marketing, money, operations.

We were building a real practice—and real things cost real effort.

I remember long nights figuring out email funnels while she wrestled with imposter syndrome. We invested in tools and coaching we couldn’t comfortably afford. We practiced sessions. We reviewed her offers. She refined her skills. I refined our strategy.

There were weeks with no signups. Ghosted calls. Frustration. But we didn’t quit.

Today, her practice thrives. Clients fly in. She sets her schedule. She’s deeply respected.

But people only see the end. The success. They miss the early mornings, the tears, the friction, the risk.

That’s what you need to hear.

Put It On the Mat

Here’s your challenge, warrior:

Know what you want.​
Stop being vague. Be brutally clear.

Know the price.​
Study others who’ve done it. What did they give up? What did they endure?

Pay the price.​
Start now. Even if it’s a small payment. A decision. A phone call. A hard workout.

Keep paying.​
Until it’s done. Until the reward is yours—and no one can take it.

The truth is simple, brother:

P.S. Read this far? That tells me something.

You want it. You’ve felt the truth in every word. The fire. The frustration. The call to something more.

But let me ask you this—what’s your next move?

Because here’s the catch nobody warns you about:

You can’t train if you’re always rushing.

You can’t focus if your schedule is chaos.

You can’t build anything if your day belongs to distractions.

Most men fail—not because they lack desire, but because their time gets stolen by noise, apps, people, and panic. Death by a thousand “maybes” and “later.”

That’s why I wrote Control Your Time, Control Your Life.​

It’s not fluff. It’s not theory.

It’s a $27 tactical guide built from the trenches—construction sites, black belt tests, startup chaos, and quiet Sunday mornings where I course-corrected my life.

In this ebook, you’ll get:

✅ A complete system for reclaiming your day
✅ Battle-tested tools to stay focused and lethal
✅ My personal weekly reset that helped me retire early, travel the world, and train BJJ 7 days a week at age 59

If you’re serious about building a life worth living—start with your time.

Because without control of your calendar, you’re just drifting.

👉 Grab the ebook here — before you waste another week​

It’s $27.

Cheaper than your last dinner.
More powerful than your last excuse.

You know what you want. Now buy the time to pay the price.