Why We’re Playing Ourselves Small

The Fear of Going All In

There’s a moment in every martial artist’s journey where they come face to face with themselves.

It’s not during their first class, nor when they tie on their white belt.

It comes later—when the real test begins.

For nearly 20 years, I trained under GM Bong Soo Han, and I saw an interesting pattern.

Students would quit at four distinct stages, and the last two always amazed me.

The first wave of dropouts happened around the six-month mark.

This was when beginners put on sparring gear for the first time.

Up until this point, they had been practicing punches and kicks in the air or against pads.

But now?

Now, they had to apply those techniques against a resisting opponent.

For many, this was the first time they ever threw a punch at another human being.

The idea of real physical contact was a hurdle they couldn’t clear.

The second major quit point came at the intermediate level—when students began learning how to throw and be thrown.

There’s a unique fear in trusting another person to throw you correctly while you’re simultaneously learning how to fall without injury.

The hesitation was palpable, and for many, the fear was too much to overcome.

But here’s where it gets even more surprising.

The third dropout point? Right before black belt.

You’d be shocked at how many students quit at red belt or red-stripe.

These were the students who had been training for years.

They were so close.

And yet, suddenly, life became too busy, an injury became too demoralizing, or some other “reason” emerged that took them off the path for good.

And then there’s the craziest one.

The moment so many dream of—achieving black belt—became, for many, the last time they ever stepped on the mat.

It was as if getting the black belt was the goal instead of embracing the lifelong journey of a martial artist.

They thought they had reached the finish line, not realizing they had only just arrived at the real starting point.

These four points of quitting reveal something deeper about how people approach life, success, and personal growth.

And it’s the same reason why most people don’t succeed—not because they don’t want more, but because when they think about what “more” means, they shortchange themselves.

Why Do We Sell Ourselves Short?

Most people don’t fail because they lack ambition.

They fail because their ambitions are too small.

We live in an era with more opportunity, prosperity, and abundance than at any other time in recorded history.

Yet, despite this, most people don’t reach their full potential.

Not because they don’t dream, but because they don’t dream big enough or long enough.

Think about it.

When you set a goal, do you think small?

Do you aim for just enough?

Do you tell yourself things like:

• “I just want to make enough to get by.”
• “I just want to be in decent shape.”
• “I just want a relationship that’s good enough.”

Why?

Why settle for just enough?

Why not aim for the extraordinary?

Why not dream 10X bigger?

​Grant Cardone popularized the idea of 10X Thinking, but the concept has been around for centuries.

It’s the idea that whatever goal you have in mind, you should multiply it by 10.

If your goal is to make $100,000 a year, think about making $1,000,000 instead.

If your goal is to run a mile, think about running a marathon.

It’s not about the specific number—it’s about how your thinking changes when you expand the scope of your ambition.

It forces you to:

• Think bigger.
• Play at a higher level.
• Challenge limiting beliefs.
• Take actions that stretch you.

Now, let’s take it even further.

Why You Need to 100X Your Dreams

If 10X thinking forces you to break free from small thinking, then what happens when you take it even further?

What if, instead of 10X, you thought 100X?

When you shift your mindset to 100X thinking, everything changes.

You stop playing defense in life and start going on offense.

You stop thinking about what’s possible and start asking, What would it take?

Here’s what happens when you start thinking 100X:

1. You Build an Identity That Matches Your Ambition

If you dream small, you don’t need to change much. But if you 100X your dreams, you are forced to evolve into the kind of person who can achieve them. This means changing your habits, discipline, and how you show up every day.

2. You Stop Making Excuses

People who aim small always have reasons why they can’t do something. They let circumstances dictate their lives. But when you aim 100X bigger, you stop making excuses and start finding solutions.

3. You Align Your Actions with Your Aspirations

If you set a goal to make $100,000, you might work just hard enough to get there. But if you set a goal to make $10,000,000, you will start thinking in entirely new ways. You will take different actions, seek out different mentors, and push beyond the limits of what you thought possible.

The difference between people who achieve greatness and those who don’t is not talent.

It’s the size of their vision and their willingness to pursue it relentlessly.

Putting It On the Mat:
The Challenge of Thinking Bigger

Let’s go back to the mat.

I saw students quit at four distinct points.

Every single one of them had the potential to push through.

But the ones who did?

They were the ones who thought bigger.

They didn’t just want to train for a few months—they wanted to master the art.

They didn’t just want to survive sparring—they wanted to dominate it.

They didn’t just want a black belt—they wanted to be a black belt for life.

You might be at one of these quitting points in your own life right now.

Maybe you’re afraid to step into the ring, afraid to get thrown, afraid to take that last step before greatness, or afraid of what comes next after hitting a big milestone.

But here’s what I want you to do:

1. Take Your Current Goals and 10X Them

Whatever you’re aiming for right now, multiply it by 10. Think bigger. Play a bigger game.

2. Now, 100X Them

Now, take that goal and make it even bigger. Let it scare you a little. Let it stretch your imagination. Ask yourself, What would it take to achieve this?

3. Step Into That Identity Today

Don’t wait. Start showing up today as the person who is already on the path to that 100X goal. Make decisions as if you are already that version of yourself.

You don’t need permission to live a bigger life. You just need to make the decision.

So, what are your dreams?

Can you 10X them?

Can you 100X them?

I want to hear from you.

Reply to this email and tell me what your biggest dream is—and how you’re going to start putting it on the mat today.

P.S. The first step to achieving your goals is controlling your time.

If you don't get a handle of your time, you will never be able to maintain the focus, energy and consistency required for success.

Get Control Your Time, Control Your Life to achieve the success you deserve.