The Power of Letting Go

The Lesson on the Mat

The other day, I used my recovery day to observe a class led by Jason Hunt, assisted by Rodrigo Caporal.

Between these two men, there’s close to 50 years of Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu experience.

Watching them move was like witnessing a master painter with a brush or a jazz musician in full improvisation—fluid, effortless, and intentional.

One thing Jason said caught my attention.

He talked about the early days of learning and training in BJJ with Rodrigo in Brazil.

Back then, they would spend more time "flow rolling" rather than the ego-driven, "need to win" style of rolling that I see so often on the mats today.

Many students get so caught up in trying to impose their will—securing dominant positions and hunting for submissions—that they miss out on the deeper lesson of Jiu-Jitsu: learning to relax, roll, and feel.

They overlook the softness of Jiu-Jitsu, the ability to move with rather than against resistance.

As I watched class unfold, I couldn’t help but wonder:

Where else in life do we miss this important lesson of letting go?

The Battle Against Force

I remember back in the late ‘90s when I was training for my 1st dan black belt exam in Hapkido.

I had been seeing an acupuncturist and bodyworker who came highly recommended by the instructors at my dojang.

One day, as she worked on my perpetually tight shoulders, she said something that hit me like a punch to the gut.

I scoffed.

That wasn’t how the world worked.

As a no-BS construction worker, I made shit happen.

I showed up, put in the hours, pushed through obstacles, and made things work.

Sitting around and "allowing" something to happen?

That sounded like new-age nonsense to me.

If you wanted something, you grabbed it with both hands and forced it into existence.

It took me years to understand what she really meant.

Most of my life had been spent muscling through problems.

If a task was hard, I pushed harder.

If progress wasn’t happening, I doubled my efforts.

This mindset worked—until it didn’t.

Because force has its limits.

Muscling through can work in the short term, but over time, it leads to burnout, frustration, and missed opportunities.

Sometimes, the harder you push, the more you resist your own progress.

There’s a saying:

If you try to control everything, you’ll only exhaust yourself.

But if you learn to move with the current, you’ll find openings you never saw before.

The Power of Relaxed Awareness

As I sat watching Jason and Rodrigo roll, I was struck by how effortlessly they moved.

Jason mentioned something that really stuck with me:

I’ve seen this over and over again—on the mat, at work, in business, and in life.

When you’re fixated on one outcome, you become blind to everything else.

A BJJ student who insists on forcing a submission might ignore the easy sweep or escape right in front of them.

An entrepreneur obsessed with one strategy might overlook a golden opportunity.

A man chasing the wrong woman might miss the right one standing right beside him.

The key isn’t to stop trying—it’s to stop forcing.

There’s a difference between effort and struggle.

Effort is applying yourself intelligently.

Struggle is brute force.

When you let go of unnecessary struggle, you free up energy for what truly matters.

Learning to Let Go in Life

Think about a time in your life when you were trying too hard.

Maybe it was a relationship where you bent over backward to keep someone happy, only for them to pull away.

Maybe it was a job where you killed yourself working overtime but never got the recognition you craved.

Maybe it was a skill you tried to master, only to plateau harder the more you forced it.

Letting go doesn’t mean giving up.

It means allowing things to unfold naturally.

It means trusting yourself, your training, and your instincts.

I’ve had my biggest breakthroughs in business, relationships, and personal growth when I stopped forcing things.

When I let go of the need to control every outcome and started focusing on playing the game with relaxed awareness, the results spoke for themselves.

• When I stopped chasing money and focused on providing value, I made more money than ever.
• When I stopped proving myself in relationships and just showed up authentically, I met my wife.
• When I stopped trying to force success in martial arts and simply trained with curiosity, my skills skyrocketed.

Putting It On the Mat

The next time you step onto the mat—whether it’s in Jiu-Jitsu, business, relationships, or life—ask yourself:

Am I forcing, or am I flowing?

In Jiu-Jitsu, if you try to muscle through every movement, you’ll gas out.

If you relax, breathe, and feel your opponent’s movements, you’ll see opportunities you never noticed before.

In life, if you cling too tightly to an idea of how things "should" be, you might miss out on how they could be.

Letting go doesn’t mean doing nothing—it means allowing yourself to move with what’s happening instead of against it.

So, here’s my challenge to you:

This week, pick one area of your life where you’ve been trying too hard.

It could be your career, your relationships, or your personal goals.

Whatever it is, instead of forcing, try flowing.

Loosen your grip.

Trust yourself.

Notice the opportunities you’ve been missing.

Because just like in Jiu-Jitsu, the key to victory isn’t always brute force—it’s knowing when to let go.

P.S. If you found this content helpful, I have a favor to ask.

Actually two of them, a selfish one and a not-so-selfish one.

First the selfish one, if this was helpful to you, forward it to someone you think it might help. That helps me to grow my reach.

Now the not-selfish one, the one thing I learned on the mat and on the job was that the most successful leaders were not the ones who knew the most but were the ones who applied and taught the most.

So, if you want to be a better leader, do two things, take immediate action on what you learned today AND share it with someone else. You'll look badass, I promise you.

Also, if you have any questions, comments or suggestions, hit me up, reply to this email and let me know what's going on and how I can help you to be a better warrior, leader, and badass.

Thank you, I appreciate you being here in The Daily Dojo, you can learn more at CharlesDoublet.com​