If You Want to Go Far, Go Together—But Only If Everyone’s Pulling in the Same Direction

The African proverb is right. But it’s missing a critical caveat that most leaders learn the hard way.

You’ve heard the saying:

It’s a great line. It’s true.

And it’s incomplete.

Because here’s what nobody tells you about going together:

If everybody isn’t aligned with where you’re going, you won’t go fast and you won’t go far.

You’ll just exhaust yourself pulling in different directions while the destination gets further away.

I learned this the hard way. Twice.

Once on the mat. Once on the jobsite.

And both times, the lesson was the same:

Alignment isn’t optional. It’s the price of admission for any team that actually wants to go somewhere.

What I Learned on the Mat

I’ve been training martial arts since 1985. And one of the most important lessons I’ve learned has nothing to do with technique.

It’s about who you train with. And how.

Because not everyone I train with has the same intentions I do.

Some guys come to the mat to learn. To grow. To challenge themselves and their training partners.

Those are the ones worth training with.

But others come with something to prove. With ego. With a lack of self-control that makes them genuinely dangerous.

And I learned—the hard way, after being sent to the hospital—that you can’t train the same way with everyone.

So I developed three training modes:

Mode 1: Defensive Training

When I’m training with someone who lacks self-control and could hurt me, I train defensively.

I don’t give them opportunities to injure me. I protect myself first. I don’t open up. I don’t take risks.

It’s still training. But it’s training with one hand tied behind my back.

Because my first job is to walk off the mat in one piece.

Mode 2: Handicapped Training

When I’m training with someone I’m significantly better than, I handicap myself.

I work from disadvantaged positions. I limit my techniques. I slow down.

Not to be condescending. But to make the exchange valuable for both of us.

Because if I just dominate them, neither of us learns anything.

Mode 3: Open Training

When I’m training with a peer or a worthy rival—someone at my level or above—I can open up fully.

I can take risks. I can try new things. I can push and be pushed.

This is where the real growth happens.

But here’s the honest truth: This was rare.

Most of the time, I was in Mode 1 or Mode 2. Training defensively or handicapping myself.

Which is still training. But it’s less than ideal.

Because you can only go as far as your training partners will take you.

What I Learned on the Jobsite

The same dynamic played out on every construction site I ever worked.

Not everyone working there was looking to do their best.

Not everyone wanted to make the contractor money.

Not everyone cared about doing work they’d be willing to leave their name on.

And as a foreman, I had to figure out how to build a team that actually worked.

So I developed a system.

Every time a new member joined my team, I gave them my spiel. My talk. The conversation that set the foundation for everything that came after.

It started with three assumptions.

My 3 Assumptions

I told every new team member that I was making three assumptions about them. And I asked them to tell me if I was wrong.

Assumption 1: You’re here to make money.

You’re not doing this as a hobby. You’re not doing this as a passion project. You’re here because you need a paycheck.

And that’s fine. That’s why I’m here too.

But it means we both have a stake in this working. If the job goes well, we both get paid. If it doesn’t, we both suffer.

So let’s make it work.

Assumption 2: You don’t want to be messed with.

You don’t want to be bullied. You don’t want to be micromanaged. You don’t want to be teased or disrespected.

Neither do I.

So I’m not going to do that to you. And I’m not going to let anyone else do it to you either.

But that goes both ways.

Assumption 3: You want to go home in one piece.

You want to finish the day healthy and happy. You don’t want to leave the job via an ambulance or a hearse.

Neither do I.

So safety isn’t negotiable. Not because OSHA says so. But because you have people who need you to come home.

When I got agreement on those three assumptions, I moved to the asks.

My 3 Asks

Ask 1: Own every project like it’s yours.

Whatever you’re given to do, own it. Don’t leave loose ends for other people to finish. Don’t do half a job and walk away.

If it has your hands on it, it has your name on it.

Ask 2: Don’t make your coworkers’ jobs harder.

Don’t get in their way. Don’t take their materials or tools. Don’t distract them from doing their work.

We’re all trying to get the same job done. Make it easier, not harder.

Ask 3: Know what your actual job is.

This was the one that always got the most interesting responses.

I’d ask them: “Do you know what your job is?”

They’d answer. Usually something about their trade. Their tasks. Their responsibilities.

And then I’d tell them the real answer.

​I had to get fired to learn this lesson. So I’m giving it to you for free.

Your job is to make your immediate supervisor’s job easier.

That’s it. That’s the whole job.

You do that, I want you around. I’ll go to bat for you. I’ll protect you. I’ll help you grow.

You don’t do that—I don’t care how good you are, how skilled your work is, how long you’ve been in the trade—if you’re making my job harder, I don’t want you on my team.

When I got agreement on the three asks, I was happy to bring them on.

And later, if there were problems, I could point back to our earlier agreements. We could resolve it together. Or I could let them go with a clear conscience.

Because we’d both agreed to the terms.

Hire Slow, Fire Fast

Here’s the other lesson I learned the hard way:

For a team to work, you have to hire slow and fire fast.

Hiring slow means taking the time to find people who are actually aligned. Who actually share the values. Who actually want to go where you’re going.

It’s tempting to fill a spot quickly. Especially when you’re short-handed.

But a bad hire doesn’t just underperform. They infect.

I call it the Bart Simpson effect.

One person with bad attitude, low standards, or misaligned intentions can taint an entire crew.

They complain. Others start complaining. They cut corners. Others start cutting corners. They undermine the foreman. Others start questioning the foreman.

One bad apple. Whole barrel.

And firing fast means that when you see it happening—when you see the infection spreading—you act.

Not cruelly. Not impulsively. But decisively.

Because the longer you wait, the more damage is done. To the project. To the team. To the culture you’ve worked to build.

The people who are aligned deserve to work in an environment that protects their standards.

And you can’t do that if you’re tolerating people who are pulling in the wrong direction.

The Framework: Building an Aligned Team

Here’s how you apply this in your own context:

Step 1: Get clear on where you’re going.

You can’t align people to a destination you haven’t defined.

What are you building? What are the standards? What does success look like?

Be specific. Be clear. Be honest.

Because vague destinations attract misaligned people.

Step 2: Communicate the destination before you invite people in.

Don’t wait until someone is on the team to tell them where the team is going.

Tell them upfront.

This is where we’re going. This is how we operate. This is what we expect. This is what you can expect from us.

And then ask: Are you in?

Not everyone will be. And that’s fine. Better to know now than six months in.

Step 3: Make the assumptions explicit.

Like my three assumptions on the jobsite, make explicit what you’re assuming about the people on your team.

What do you believe they want? What do you believe they need? What do you believe they’re capable of?

State it out loud. Ask if you’re right.

Because assumptions that aren’t stated become resentments that aren’t resolved.

Step 4: Make the asks clear.

Like my three asks, be explicit about what you need from people.

Not vague expectations. Specific behaviors.

What does “doing a good job” actually look like? What does “being a good team member” actually mean?

Define it. State it. Get agreement.

Step 5: Know your training modes.

Like on the mat, not everyone on your team is at the same level or has the same intentions.

Know who you’re dealing with. And adjust accordingly.

Some people need more structure. Some need more autonomy. Some need to be challenged. Some need to be protected.

Great leaders don’t treat everyone the same. They treat everyone appropriately.

Step 6: Hire slow.

Take the time to find aligned people. Ask the hard questions upfront. Look for values fit, not just skills fit.

Because skills can be taught. Values can’t.

Step 7: Fire fast.

When someone is consistently misaligned—when they’re pulling in the wrong direction, infecting the culture, making everyone else’s job harder—act.

Not impulsively. But decisively.

Because the cost of keeping a misaligned person is always higher than the cost of letting them go.

The Worthy Rival

​Simon Sinek talks about the concept of the worthy rival—someone who pushes you to be better. Who challenges you. Who elevates you.

On the mat, those training partners are rare and precious.

In business, they’re the same.

The team members who challenge your thinking. Who hold you to a higher standard. Who make you better by their presence.

Those are the people you build around.

Not the ones who are easiest to manage. Not the ones who never push back. Not the ones who just do what they’re told.

The ones who are genuinely aligned with where you’re going and genuinely committed to getting there.

Those are the people who make going far possible.

The Truth About Going Together

Yes, if you want to go far, go together.

But together doesn’t mean with everyone.

It means with the right people. Aligned people. People who want to go where you’re going and are willing to do what it takes to get there.

Because a team of misaligned people isn’t a team. It’s a crowd.

And crowds don’t go anywhere. They just mill around, bump into each other, and wonder why nothing is moving.

The team that goes far is the team that’s pulling in the same direction.

Every member. Every day. Toward the same destination.

That’s alignment. And alignment is the price of admission for going far.

The Challenge

Here’s what I want you to do this week:

Look at your team—whether that’s at work, at home, or on the mat.

Ask yourself:

• Is everyone aligned with where we’re going?
• Is everyone pulling in the same direction?
• Is there anyone who’s making everyone else’s job harder?

Then ask: What am I going to do about it?

Maybe it’s a conversation. Maybe it’s a clearer statement of expectations. Maybe it’s a harder decision.

But do something.

Because the longer you let misalignment fester, the further you get from where you’re trying to go.

The Final Word

If you want to go fast, go alone.

If you want to go far, go together.

But if you want to actually get there, make sure everyone’s going the same direction.

Hire slow. Fire fast. Know your training modes. Make the assumptions explicit. Make the asks clear.

And build a team of worthy rivals who make you better by their presence.

That’s how you go far.

Who on your team is aligned? And who isn’t?