Want to Be Valuable?
Provide Value.

It was the summer of ’89, and the San Fernando Valley sun didn’t give a damn about my dreams.

I was a first-year apprentice on the Northridge Hospital expansion job, digging out the ground grid for a DWP vault in clay dirt that felt like concrete.

I was twenty-something, earning $8.05 an hour—35% of a journeyman’s wage—and trying to prove I had what it took to make it in the trades.

The only thing that kept me alive was the 9am coffee break.

I’d drag my beat-up body into the air-conditioned trailer, eat half of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, and try to cool off just enough to face the next three hours.

At noon, I’d return for the second half of that sandwich, because I couldn’t afford deli meat, let alone anything resembling a proper lunch.

I was deep in my Top Ramen and Quesadilla phase of financial survival.

And I did that every day, for six weeks straight.

It was the roughest physical work I had ever done.

Fast forward a few decades—I’m having coffee with a young friend who’s just starting his career.

He tells me he’s working harder than his boss.

I laugh and say, “Yeah, I used to think that too.”

Then I tell him how much harder I worked as a foreman—not with my hands, but with my head.

Coordinating men, solving problems, managing materials, budgets, schedules, and egos.

As a general foreman on multimillion-dollar jobs, I wasn’t just pulling wire—I was pulling it all together.

That’s the part most guys on the crew never see. They’re working with their hands. They haven’t built the skills of the head—or the heart.

But that’s the secret.

If you want to be valuable, you have to provide value.

Why We Get Value Wrong

We live in a world obsessed with getting.

• Getting rich.
• Getting followers.
• Getting recognition.
• Getting paid.

But very few stop to ask the deeper question:

“What am I giving that makes me valuable?”

Let’s get something clear. You don’t get paid for how hard you work. You get paid for how hard your work is to replace.

And that comes down to the value you create, not the effort you put in.

The Three Tiers of Value

Think of value in three tiers—Hands, Head, and Heart.

1. Hands (Low Compensation): This is where most people start. Labor. Time-for-money. You’re told what to do. You follow instructions. You build what others designed. You might work harder than anyone else, but you’re still replaceable. There’s always someone else willing to swing a hammer or dig a ditch.
2. Head (Mid Compensation): This is where the thinkers operate. Planners, coordinators, decision-makers. You don’t just do—you direct. You understand the bigger picture. You make sense of chaos and give structure to the work. You’ve built skills in leadership, communication, logistics, and execution. You can anticipate problems before they happen. You’re not just a doer—you’re a solver.
3. Heart (High Compensation): This is the rare air. These are the coaches, healers, mentors, visionaries. They don’t just bring knowledge—they bring presence. People pay them not just for what they know, but how they make others feel. When you operate from the heart, you help others become better versions of themselves. Your value isn’t measured in widgets—it’s measured in impact.

​My wife is a somatic bodyworker.

She works with stressed, overwhelmed, and sometimes traumatized clients, guiding them back to themselves.

Her rates go up to $300/hour, not because she charges more, but because she delivers more value—to their nervous systems, their lives, and their relationships.

You want to earn more?

Don’t demand more.

Deliver more.

Why “Deserve” is a Dangerous Word

One of the most toxic lies out there is: “I deserve to be paid more.”

No.

You deserve what the market says you’re worth.

That’s not cynicism—it’s reality.

If you're getting paid minimum wage, it's not because the world is unfair.

It's because you haven't yet built the skills, mindset, or emotional intelligence to provide more value.

That’s not judgment. That’s opportunity.

Start where you are—but don’t stay there.

The Value Ladder

If you want to level up in life, you need to climb the Value Ladder:

• Learn something valuable. Study. Practice. Get damn good at something.
• Solve a real problem. Not a theoretical one. A real, painful, urgent problem people are willing to pay to fix.
• Help others win. This is the cheat code. The people who rise fastest aren’t just good—they’re good for others.
• Lead with service. Your reputation follows your results. Serve others so well that they can’t help but tell everyone about you.

This is the way of the warrior-leader-badass.

You don’t chase titles.

You earn trust.

You’re Paid for One Thing:
Solving Pain

Every dollar earned in this world is a direct result of someone solving someone else’s pain.

• The plumber fixes the leak. Pain solved.
• The lawyer clears your record. Pain solved.
• The trainer helps you lose 30 pounds. Pain solved.
• The coach helps you stop self-sabotaging. Pain solved.

The bigger the pain, and the more unique your ability to solve it—the more you’re worth.

This is why “being busy” means nothing.

Busy doesn’t equal valuable.

Valuable equals valuable.

How to Become More Valuable

Here’s the formula that changed my life:

• Skill: Can you actually do the thing well?
• Empathy: Do people feel safe, seen, and supported with you?
• Scarcity: Are you the only one who can do it like you do?

The trades taught me this.

Martial arts taught me this.

Marriage taught me this.

And now I’m teaching it to you.

Because the world doesn’t need more people wanting to be valuable.

It needs more people willing to become valuable.

And the good news?

You can start today.

Putting It On the Mat

I still remember the day it all flipped.

I was a journeyman by then.

I was working on a mid-sized commercial job in Century City (the Creative Artists Agency building), and one afternoon, I noticed the foreman was having a rough time coordinating a delivery and juggling the schedule of two other trades that were threatening to bottleneck our progress.

Instead of waiting for direction, I stepped in.

• I asked questions.
• Offered a few ideas.
• Helped him reorganize the crew for the afternoon.

It wasn’t glamorous—it was logistics.

But we avoided a delay that would’ve cost us a day’s work and pissed off the general contractor.

That night, the foreman pulled me aside and said, “Most guys want more money before they step up. You stepped up before anyone asked.”

A few months later, I was running my own job.​

That moment stayed with me.

Leadership is earned before it’s given.

Value is offered before it’s paid.

Fast forward to today—so many young guys I meet are struggling to figure out their place in the world.

They want to do something meaningful, they want to be respected, they want to be paid.

But they’re waiting for someone to give it to them first.

Let me save you years of pain:

Don’t wait to be picked. Pick yourself.

Start delivering value today—even if nobody notices.

• Take initiative.
• Learn the skills.
• Care more than is expected.

And when you’re around others, ask yourself:

• “How can I help?”
• “What problem can I solve here?”
• “What’s missing that I can bring?”

If you do this consistently, you’ll be shocked at how quickly people start seeing you as valuable.

Not because you said so.

But because you showed them.

Challenge for the Week

Every day this week, in one situation—at work, at home, on the mat—lead with value.

Don’t ask for anything. Don’t try to prove anything.

Just provide value.

And see what happens.

You don’t need to be perfect. You just need to be useful.

You don’t need to be loud. You just need to be dependable.

You don’t need to wait. You just need to start.

The path from average to badass doesn’t require a throne.

It just requires service.

Let’s get to work.

P.S. You will never be able to consistently provide value for others if you cannot control the one thing we all have in common, time.

I've put everything I've learned, the hard way, for controlling my time in Control Your Time, Control Your Life.​

​Get it HERE!​