The 4 Reasons You’re Not Successful Yet (And How to Fix Them)

It’s not complicated—you’re just skipping the steps that actually matter

I never set out to be a black belt.

I put myself on the path of a martial artist, and earning a black belt was the natural consequence.

I never set out to be a boss overseeing crews on multi-million and billion-dollar projects.

I put myself on the path of being a craftsman in my trade, and progressing up the ranks was the natural consequence.

But I did set out to retire early with a seven-figure nest egg and be healthy enough to continue traveling, training, and helping others create the life they want to live.

And I set those wheels in motion 15 years before the retirement date.

Had a 1,000-day countdown timer on my phone as the day approached.

The difference wasn’t luck. It wasn’t talent. It wasn’t some secret formula.

It was knowing the four reasons most people don’t succeed—and making sure I didn’t fall into those traps.

Here’s what nobody tells you: success isn’t complicated.

You’re just skipping the steps that actually matter.

Why Most People Stay Stuck

Walk into any gym in January.

Packed. Everyone’s got goals. Everyone’s motivated. Everyone’s going to “finally do it this year.”

Walk back in March.

Empty.

Same people who were fired up two months ago are back on the couch, wondering why it didn’t work out.

This isn’t a willpower problem. It’s not a motivation problem.

It’s a system problem.

Most people approach success backwards.

They focus on the outcome instead of the identity.

They chase results instead of building the environment that produces results.

They rely on discipline instead of designing a life where the right actions are easier than the wrong ones.

And then they wonder why nothing sticks.

Here’s the truth:

There are four reasons you’re not as successful as you want to be.

Once you know them and put them in place, you cannot fail.

Not “probably succeed.” Not “might work out.”

Cannot fail.

Step 1: Clarity of Identity (Know Who You’re Becoming)

The first mistake most people make is focusing on the goal instead of the identity.

• “I want to lose 50 pounds.”
• “I want to make six figures.”
• “I want to get promoted.”

Those are outcomes. Not identities.

And outcomes are fragile. They come and go. You hit them, celebrate for a week, and then slide back to where you were.

Identity is different.

Identity is who you are. And who you are determines what you do. Consistently. Over time.

Here’s how this played out for me.

I never woke up one day and said, “I’m going to be a black belt.”

I put myself on the path of being a martial artist. I showed up to class. I drilled. I asked questions. I watched the senior students. I trained when I was tired, sore, and didn’t feel like it.

Being a black belt was the natural consequence of being a martial artist.

Same thing with construction.

I didn’t wake up and say, “I’m going to run multi-million-dollar projects.”

I put myself on the path of being a craftsman. I learned the trade. I showed up early. I asked the foremen questions. I studied the plans. I figured out how to solve problems instead of creating them.

Running big projects was the natural consequence of being a craftsman.

See the pattern?

You don’t get what you want. You get who you are.

So the first step is getting clear on who you’re becoming.

Not what you want to achieve. Who you need to be to achieve it.

Ask yourself:

• Who is the person who has the body I want?
  • How do they eat?
  • How do they train?
  • How do they show up when they’re tired?
• Who is the person who has the career I want?
  • How do they work?
  • How do they lead?
  • How do they handle problems?
• Who is the person who has the relationships I want?
  • How do they communicate?
  • How do they show up?
  • How do they handle conflict?

Write it down. Be specific.

And then ask yourself the second question:

Not “do I believe I can hit the goal.”

Do I believe I can become the kind of person who does the things required to hit the goal?

Because if you don’t believe it’s possible, you won’t do the work.

You’ll quit the first time it gets hard.

But if you believe—truly believe—that you can become that person, everything changes.

You stop asking “can I?” and start asking “how?”

You stop waiting for permission and start acting like you already are that person.

There are 3 parts to your identity that you need to hold 100% of the time:

• 100% clarity of the identity you want
• 100% belief that you can achieve it
• 100% commitment to holding that belief and that clarity every single day

Do that, and success isn’t a question.

It’s a consequence.

Step 2: Design Your Environment (Make the Right Thing Easy)

Knowing who you’re becoming is step one.

But if your environment is working against you, you’re going to lose.

Your environment is either supporting your goals or sabotaging them. There’s no neutral.

Here’s what most people don’t understand:

​Willpower is a limited resource. You only have so much of it in a day.

And every time you have to make a decision—should I go to the gym or stay home?

Should I eat the healthy thing or the easy thing?

Should I do the work or scroll my phone?—you’re burning willpower.

Eventually, you run out.

And when you run out, you default to whatever’s easiest.

So the second step is designing your environment to make the right actions easy and the wrong actions hard.

As a kid and young adult, I identified as a reader, so I always had a book with me.

Now, I have a bunch of Kindles.

One next to my bed. The Kindle app on my phone. One in my "man-purse,"​

That way, I always have any number of books synced up and ready. No excuses. No friction.

I wanted to train consistently. So I laid out my rash guard and gi the night before. Set everything up so I’d stumble out of bed and end up at the dojo without thinking.

I wanted to eat better. So I stopped buying the snacks I’d grab when I was tired. If they’re not in the house, I couldn’t eat them. Simple.

This isn’t about being perfect. It’s about removing decisions.

Your job is to make it so easy to do the right thing that it’s harder not to. And make it so hard to do the wrong thing that you feel stupid for trying.

Here’s how to do it:

Identify the Friction

What made you quit the last habit you tried to build? What made it hard?

Maybe you wanted to go to the gym, but you didn’t have your clothes ready.

Maybe you wanted to eat better, but you didn’t meal prep.

Maybe you wanted to stop scrolling, but your phone was on your nightstand.

Find the friction. Write it down.

Remove the friction for the right action.

Make it stupidly easy to do the thing you want to do.

Get your gym clothes ready the night before.

Meal prep on Sundays.

Put your phone in another room.

Whatever removes the decision, do that.

Add friction to the wrong action.

Make it hard to do the thing you don’t want to do.

Put your snacks in the basement. Delete the apps off your phone.

I've heard of people who would freeze their credit cards in ice and stick them in the freezer to avoid impulse shopping.

Make it embarrassing. Make it inconvenient. Make it annoying.

Schedule it.

Open your calendar right now. Block the exact time you’re going to do the thing tomorrow.

Not “I’ll do it when I have time.” Schedule it. Commit to it. Show up.

When there’s nothing to decide, there’s nothing to quit.

Step 3: Reward Progress, Punish Failure (Create Your Own FAFO)

Here’s the third step most people skip: consequences.

Real ones.

Not “I’ll feel bad if I don’t do it.” Not “I’ll be disappointed in myself.”

Real stakes.

Rewards you actually want. Consequences you actually fear.

Most people don’t fail because they don’t know what to do. They fail because there’s no cost to quitting.

Nobody’s watching. Nobody cares. So they slide back to comfortable and tell themselves “I’ll start again Monday.”

You need to make it cost something.

I recently saw an amusing video of a guy cleaning up his backyard, it took him 5 hours, but he needed to do it because he invited people over for a BBQ, so he had to.

We often do for others what we won't do for ourselves.

I set out to retire early with a seven-figure nest egg and be healthy enough to travel, train, and help others.

That was the reward.

I also put a 1,000-day countdown timer on my phone. Every day, I saw the number tick down. Every day, I knew how much time I had left to make it happen.

That created urgency. It created accountability. It made every day matter.

I made sure to do the things needed to achieve the goal.

The first time I tried this strategy was for our first big international vacation in 2012, 3 weeks in the Mediterranean, visiting Switzerland, Greece, Italy and Turkey.

We had 12 months to save, plan and prepare.

It was easy for me to stop eating sushi every week.

It was easy for me to pack a lunch instead of going to the food truck.

It was easy for me to save money and not waste it.

The reward was too good.

And then we were able to do 3-week holidays every year after that.

And still retire on schedule in 2021.

Here’s how to build your own version:

Pick a Big Reward

Something real. Something you’ve always wanted but wouldn’t give yourself permission to get.

A trip. A purchase. An experience.

If you hit your goal, you get it. No guilt. No second-guessing.

Pick a Big Consequence

Just as big as the reward.

Not being able to go on that trip, especially after telling my friends and family would've killed me.

For me, it would've been an indication of my integrity, discipline and character.

I wouldn't be able to look those people in the eye if they asked me how come we didn't go on the trip, it sounded amazing.

Nobody wants that.

Maybe for you, it’s giving $1,000 to a friend if you quit. Maybe it’s giving it to someone you don’t like. Maybe it’s posting your failure publicly.

Pick something that actually stings.

Tell Someone

This is the key. Once real people know, quitting costs you something.

Not just the money. Not just the consequence.

Your reputation. Your word. Your self-respect.

A public commitment turns a wish into a debt. You owe someone something.

Text one person right now. Tell them what you’re doing, for how long, and what the reward and consequence are.

Better yet, post it. Let your community see it.

Once people know, everything changes.

Step 4: Give It Time (Be Urgent with Action, Patient with Results)

Here’s the final step. The one most people can’t stomach.

Give it time.

Not weeks. Not months.

Years. Sometimes decades.

When I set the goal to retire early with a seven-figure nest egg, I gave myself 15 years.

Not one year. Not five.

Fifteen.

I set the countdown timer 1,000 days before the finish line. But the work started 15 years before that.

Here’s what nobody tells you: success isn’t about doing 10x more.

It’s about doing 10% more, consistently, over a long enough period of time that compounding does the work.

​1% better every day is 37x growth in a year.

Not because you’re hustling harder.

Because you’re showing up longer.

Most people quit because they compare their Prologue to someone else’s Epilogue.

They see the results and think, “I could never do that.”

But the person crushing it isn’t doing 10x more than you.

They’re maybe doing 10% more.

They’ve just been doing it for 10 years.

Here’s the framework:

Set a Long-Term Goal

Something that will take years. Maybe a decade or more.

Something big enough that it scares you a little.

For me, it was retiring 10 years early than most of my coworkers with financial freedom and health.

For you, it might be running a business. Earning a black belt. Building a body you’re proud of.

Whatever it is, make it big. Give it time.

Show Up Every Day

Not perfectly. Just consistently.

You’re allowed to miss one day. You’re not allowed to miss two days in a row.

Two days becomes a pattern. Patterns become habits. Bad habits become who you are.

Miss one day, fine. Life happens. But get back on the next day. No excuses.

Measure in Milestones

Day 1 to 30: Survival. Just show up. Do it ugly. Do it tired. Just do it.

Day 31 to 365: Momentum. You’ve been consistent for a year. Now you’re building steam.

Day 365 to 1,000: Compounding. This is where you start to see exponential results.

Celebrate each milestone like it matters. Because it does.

As a math nerd, 1.01^1000 = 20,959.16

Doing 1% every day for 1000 days and you will be 21000x better than never starting. That's how millionaires are made.

Be Patient with Results, Urgent with Action

Move fast. Execute daily. Don’t wait.

But don’t expect results tomorrow. Or next week. Or next month.

Trust the process. Trust the timeline. Trust that if you keep showing up, the results will come.

They always do.

Why This Works (And Why Most People Don’t Do It)

Here’s the thing:

These four steps aren’t complicated.

They’re just hard.

Not physically hard. Mentally hard.

Because they require you to do something most people won’t: commit to the long game.

• Commit to showing up for years, not weeks
• Commit to designing your life instead of relying on willpower
• Commit to becoming someone different instead of chasing a quick win
• Commit to putting real stakes on the table instead of letting yourself off the hook

Most people won’t do that. They want the shortcut. The hack. The secret.

There isn’t one.

There’s just the work. And the time.

But if you do these four things, you cannot fail.

Not “probably succeed.”

Cannot fail.

Because you’re not chasing outcomes anymore. You’re building an identity. And that identity produces the outcomes as a natural consequence.

Why Most People Won't Do This

I already know what you’re thinking.

“This sounds like it takes forever.”

It does.

And you know what else takes forever? Staying stuck. Trying and quitting. Starting over every January.

You’re going to spend the time either way. You can spend it making progress or spinning your wheels.

Your call.

“What if I change my mind about the goal?”

Then change it.

You’re allowed to pivot if you get new information.

If the goal stops serving you, pick a different one.

But don’t quit just because it’s hard.

Quit because you genuinely want something different.

There’s a difference.

“What if I fail?”

You will.

Multiple times.

You’ll miss days. You’ll mess up.

You’ll fall short of milestones.

That’s part of it.

The question isn’t “will I fail?” It’s “will I keep going after I fail?”

Because the people who succeed aren’t the ones who never fail.

They’re the ones who fail and keep showing up.

Your Move

Here’s what I want you to do in the next 48 hours.

Step 1: Define Your Identity

Who are you becoming? Write it down. One sentence.

“I am someone who _____.”

Step 2: Remove One Piece of Friction

What’s making it hard to do the thing you want to do?

Remove it.

Today.

Step 3: Set Your Reward and Consequence.

Pick something real.

Pick a reward that you've been dreaming of.

Pick a consequence that would be a nightmare to go through.

Then tell someone.

Step 4: Set Your Timeline

How long are you committing?

Not “let’s see how it goes.”

How long?

Then start the countdown.

Show up tomorrow. And the day after. And the day after that.

Do these four things, and your success is guaranteed.

Don’t do them, and keep struggling.

What’s the one identity you’re stepping into today, and what’s the first piece of friction you’re removing to make it happen?

Hit reply. One sentence. I want to know what you’re committing to.

⚔ The Dojo Drill

Today’s training:

The Future Self Drill

Ask:

Do that.

📚 Leader’s Library

Book I recommend this week:

​Leaders Eat Last by Simon Sinek​

Why?

Because you're either a leader with people who will follow you of their own choice or you're just a title...

P.S. Know a martial arts gym owner who’s stressed about money or student numbers?

Do them a favor: send them to The Leader's dōjō 武士道場, my free Skool where I help owners get more students and keep them longer with simple systems.

One forward from you could change their gym: The Leader's dōjō 武士道場​

Chuck