Mastery Isn’t About the Skill—It’s About Mastering Yourself

Discipline is just a habit. And the easiest way to build it is to start with what you love.

When I was young and dumb, trying to make my way in the world, I was like most young men.

Full of energy, fury, and potential. But very little utility, credibility, or capability.

All I knew was that there were a few things I loved doing and exploring:

• Reading
• Martial arts
• Learning and growing

And a few things I “had” to do to make my way in the world:

• Not getting into too much trouble
• Working in construction
• Paying the bills

I didn’t know how it would all connect. I didn’t know where I was going.

I was just doing what I loved and doing what I had to do.

And like Steve Jobs said, my life was not being able to connect the dots looking forward—but being able to do it when I looked back.

And here’s what I discovered looking back on my life.

Maybe by sharing it, it will give you some relief as you’re trying to make your way.

The Lie About Discipline

I’ve always been told that to be successful, I needed to develop discipline and mastery.

In fact, I read quite a few books on mastery, three authors stood out: Robert Greene, George Leonard, and Dan Millman.

And they all spoke about discipline.

But here’s the thing about discipline that nobody tells you:

It’s just a habit. Nothing more, nothing less.

It’s a line you make in the sand that you will continue pursuing a goal until one of two things happen:

1. You achieve your goal.
2. You learn new information that has you reassess your goal.

That’s it.

Discipline isn’t some mystical force. It’s not willpower. It’s not grinding through things you hate every single day.

It’s a habit. And like any habit, you can build it.

The Easiest Way to Develop Discipline

Here’s what I learned:

The easiest way to develop discipline is to pursue something you love.

Not just in a passionate amateur (“for love”) kind of way.

But with intelligence, rigor, and accountability for growth.

Because when you do that, you will hit walls. You will stumble. You will fall.

And you will need to pick yourself back up.

And when you do that—when you develop that habit of getting back up—you will, by default, develop discipline.

You don’t build discipline by forcing yourself to do things you hate.

You build discipline by committing to something you love and refusing to quit when it gets hard.

Then, once you’ve built that habit, you can apply it to things you like less.

And before you know it, you’ll have developed the discipline to tackle things you might even hate—but know you need to do.

Don’t make it harder than it has to be.

Start with what you love. Then expand from there.

What Mastery Actually Means

Most people think mastery is about becoming the best at a skill.

It’s not.

Mastery isn’t about the skill.

It’s about mastering yourself.

It’s about developing the ability to commit to something, work through the hard parts, and keep going even when progress is slow.

It’s about learning to delay gratification. To trust the process. To show up even when you don’t feel like it.

That’s mastery.

Not because you’ve mastered any particular skill. But because you’ve attained mastery over yourself.

And once you have that, you can master anything.

The Three Authors Who Taught Me Mastery

Three authors stand out for me on mastery.

Each one taught me something different.

1. Mastery by Robert Greene​

Greene’s book is about the path to mastery. The apprenticeship. The mentorship. The long, slow grind.

What I learned:

Mastery takes time. There are no shortcuts. You have to put in the years.

But more importantly, you have to be strategic. You have to find the right mentors. You have to learn the right lessons.

Mastery isn’t just about effort. It’s about intelligent effort.

2. Mastery by George Leonard​

Leonard’s book is about the plateau. The long stretches where you’re not improving. Where you’re just showing up and doing the work.

What I learned:

Most people quit during the plateau. They think they’re not making progress. They get frustrated. They give up.

But the plateau is where mastery is built.

It’s not the breakthroughs that make you a master. It’s the thousands of hours on the plateau, doing the work even when you’re not seeing results.

That’s where discipline is forged.

3. Body Mind Mastery and Way of the Peaceful Warrior by Dan Millman

Millman’s book is about the inner journey. The mental and spiritual aspects of mastery.

What I learned:

Mastery isn’t just physical. It’s mental. It’s emotional. It’s spiritual.

It’s about learning to be present. To let go of ego. To find joy in the process, not just the outcome.

Mastery is a way of being, not just a way of doing.

All three books taught me the same core lesson:

Mastery is about discipline. And discipline is about showing up, doing the work, and refusing to quit.

How I Built Discipline (Without Realizing It)

Here’s the thing:

I didn’t set out to build discipline. I just did what I loved.

I loved martial arts. So I showed up to class. I trained. I practiced.

I loved reading. So I read. Every day. For decades.

I loved learning and sharing. So I taught. I wrote. I talked to people.

I wasn’t trying to build discipline. I was just doing what I loved.

But in the process, I hit walls.

There were days I didn’t want to train. Days I was sore, tired, frustrated.

There were books I struggled through. Concepts I didn’t understand. Especially this one!​

There were students who didn’t get it. Lessons that didn’t land.

And I had to keep going anyway.

Not because I had some superhuman willpower. But because I’d made a commitment.

I’d drawn a line in the sand: I’m not quitting.

And every time I showed up when I didn’t feel like it, every time I pushed through when it was hard, every time I got back up after falling.

I was building the habit of discipline.

Then I Applied It to Things I Didn’t Love

Once I’d built that habit with martial arts, with reading, with learning—

I could apply it to other things.

Things I didn’t love. Things I had to do.

Like working construction. Like paying bills. Like dealing with difficult people.

I didn’t love those things. But I had the discipline to do them anyway.

Because I’d already built the habit. I’d already proven to myself that I could commit to something and follow through.

So when I had to do something I didn’t love, I just applied the same habit.

Show up. Do the work. Don’t quit.

That’s discipline.

How to Build Discipline and Mastery

Here’s how you do it:

Step 1: Start with what you love.

Don’t try to build discipline by forcing yourself to do things you hate.

Start with something you love. Something you’re genuinely interested in.

Martial arts. Music. Writing. Building. Cooking. Whatever.

Just pick something you love.

Step 2: Commit to it with intelligence, rigor, and accountability.

Don’t just dabble. Don’t just do it when you feel like it.

Commit to it.

Set a schedule. Find a teacher or mentor. Track your progress.

Treat it seriously.

Step 3: Show up even when it’s hard.

This is where discipline is built.

When you don’t feel like it. When you’re tired. When you’re frustrated. When progress is slow.

Show up anyway.

Not because you have to. But because you’ve committed.

That’s the habit you’re building.

Step 4: Embrace the plateau.

There will be long stretches where you’re not improving. Where you’re just doing the work.

Don’t quit.

The plateau is where mastery is built. It’s where discipline is forged.

Trust the process. Keep showing up.

Step 5: Apply the habit to other areas.

Once you’ve built the habit of discipline in one area, apply it to others.

Things you like less. Things you have to do.

The habit transfers.

Step 6: Recognize that mastery is about self-mastery.

You’re not trying to become the best in the world at something.

You’re trying to become someone who can commit to something and follow through.

That’s mastery. Mastery over yourself.

And once you have that, you can master anything.

How I Learned Mastery from Construction

Construction taught me discipline in a different way.

I didn’t love it. Not at first.

It was hard. It was dirty. It was exhausting.

But I had to do it. I had bills to pay. I had a life to build.

So I showed up. Every day. At 6 a.m.

And over time with the mindset of discipline, I got better.

I learned the trade. I became a journeyman. Then a foreman.

Then a foreman on big projects.

Not because I loved it. But because I’d already built the habit of discipline.

I’d built it in martial arts. In reading. In learning.

And I applied it to construction.

And you know what? Over time, I started to love it.

I loved the pragmatic problem-solving. I loved the tangible feedback of seeing a day's hard work and what I accomplished. Then I loved being able to help my crew to achieve the same success.

The mastery. The craft. The ability to build something with my hands. And then later to help others to develop the same ability.

That’s what discipline gives you. The ability to stick with something long enough to find the value in it.

What I Learned on the Martial Arts Mat

Martial arts taught me discipline in the purest form.

Because you can’t fake it on the mat.

You either show up or you don’t. You either do the work or you don’t. You either improve or you don’t.

There’s no hiding.

And there were so many times I didn’t want to show up.

I was sore. I was tired. I was frustrated. I was getting my ass kicked.

I literally would have to crawl out of bed some mornings.

But I showed up anyway.

Not because I had superhuman willpower. But because I’d made a commitment.

And every time I showed up when I didn’t feel like it, I was building discipline.

The Truth About Delayed Gratification

Here’s the thing about mastery:

It requires delayed gratification.

You don’t get good overnight. You don’t see results immediately.

You have to trust that the work you’re doing today will pay off months or years from now.

Most people can’t do that. They want instant results. Instant feedback. Instant gratification.

And when they don’t get it, they quit.

But the people who achieve mastery? They’ve learned to delay gratification.

They’ve learned to trust the process. To show up even when they’re not seeing results.

They’ve learned that the plateau is where mastery is built.

And that’s a skill. A habit. A form of discipline.

And it’s one of the most valuable skills you can develop.

​Throwing Down the Gauntlet and Putting It On the Mat

Here’s what I want you to do:

Pick one thing you love.

Something you’re genuinely interested in.

Then commit to it. Not casually. Seriously.

Set a schedule. Find a teacher or mentor. Track your progress.

Then show up. Every day. Or every week. Whatever your schedule is.

Show up even when you don’t feel like it. Even when it’s hard. Even when progress is slow.

Do that for six months. A year. Longer.

And watch what happens.

You’ll build the habit of discipline. You’ll develop mastery over yourself.

And then you can apply that habit to anything.

The Truth About Mastery

Mastery isn’t about the skill. It’s about mastering yourself.

It’s about developing the ability to commit to something and follow through.

To show up even when you don’t feel like it. To work through the hard parts. To trust the process.

That’s mastery.

And the easiest way to build it is to start with what you love.

Then apply it to what you have to do.

Don’t make it harder than it has to be.

Start with what you love. Build the habit. Then expand.

And before you know it, you’ll have developed the discipline to tackle anything.

Not because you’ve mastered any particular skill. But because you’ve attained mastery over yourself.

And that’s living a life of mastery.

What will you commit to today?