Passion is a Luxury: Why “Follow Your Dreams” is Terrible Advice

“Do what you love and you’ll never work another day in your life” is a load of horseshit sold by people who want to sell you courses, workshops, and seminars.

We’ve all heard the inspirational mantras.

• Do what you love.
• Chase your dreams.
• Follow your passion.
• Turn your hobby into your career.

These feel-good platitudes have created an entire generation of starving students, struggling artists, and all those waiters and waitresses in LA and NY hoping for their big break while living paycheck to paycheck.

Here’s the real deal:

Even if you are doing the work you love with the clients you love working with (like my wife does), you still have to deal with marketing, sales, content creation, logistics, and everything else that a healthy adult has to deal with in life.

You cannot escape Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, and to get to the rarified air of Esteem and Self-Actualization, the foundational needs must be met first — and they are rarely, if ever, passionate pursuits.

But I’m not advocating for a life of misery and hardship either.

Instead, success requires being flexible and adaptable — being set on what you’re passionate about but flexible on how you express it.

The key insight:

Your underlying drivers matter more than the specific vehicle you use to express them.

The Passion Trap: Why Good Advice Goes Bad

The “follow your passion” advice isn’t inherently wrong — it’s just dangerously incomplete.

Like most oversimplified wisdom, it contains a kernel of truth wrapped in layers of naive assumptions about how the world actually works.

The Hidden Assumptions

Assumption 1: Passion Equals Profitability Just because you love something doesn’t mean the market values it. The world is full of passionate painters whose work nobody wants to buy and enthusiastic musicians whose songs nobody wants to hear.

Assumption 2: Passion Sustains Itself Even activities you love become work when you must do them on schedule, under pressure, with demanding clients, while worrying about paying rent. Passion alone doesn’t carry you through the grinding, unglamorous aspects of any pursuit.

Assumption 3: You Can Skip the Fundamentals The hierarchy of human needs isn’t just a psychology concept — it’s a practical reality. You can’t focus on self-actualization when you’re stressed about basic survival.

Assumption 4: There’s Only One Path The advice assumes there’s only one way to express what drives you, leading people to pursue narrow, often impractical paths instead of exploring multiple vehicles for the same underlying motivation.

The Casualties of Passion-First Thinking

The Starving Artist: Brilliant creative talents who never develop business skills, believing that passion should be enough to sustain them.

The Perpetual Student: People who accumulate degrees and certifications in their field of passion while never building practical skills or market value.

The Hobby Killer: Individuals who destroy their love for an activity by forcing it to become their sole source of income before they’ve built sustainable systems.

The One-Trick Wonder: People who become so identified with a specific expression of their passion that they can’t adapt when markets change or opportunities shift.

Maslow’s Reality Check: The Foundation Must Come First

You cannot escape Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs.

This isn’t just academic theory — it’s practical wisdom about how human psychology actually works.

When your basic needs aren’t met, you can’t access the higher levels of motivation and creativity that make passionate work sustainable.

The Hierarchy in Practice

Level 1 & 2: Physiological and Safety Needs Food, shelter, security, health insurance, emergency funds. These aren’t glamorous, but they’re non-negotiable. When you’re worried about making rent, you can’t access your highest creative potential.

Level 3: Love and Belonging Relationships, social connection, family stability. Passion pursuits that isolate you from human connection or damage important relationships aren’t sustainable.

Level 4: Esteem Needs Recognition, respect, competence, confidence. These often come through developing valuable skills and delivering results, regardless of whether those skills align perfectly with your passions.

Level 5: Self-Actualization Creativity, purpose, personal growth, peak experiences. This is where passion-driven work becomes possible — but only after the foundation is solid.

The Financial Foundation Reality

Even passionate work requires business infrastructure:

• Marketing to attract clients or customers
• Sales processes to convert interest into income
• Financial management and planning
• Legal structures and contracts
• Operations and logistics
• Customer service and relationship management

None of these activities are inherently passionate pursuits for most people, but they’re absolutely essential for sustainable success.

The Alternative Framework: Universal Drivers vs. Specific Vehicles

Instead of focusing narrowly on specific passionate activities, successful people understand their underlying drivers and remain flexible about how they express them.

This approach provides both satisfaction and sustainability.

The 12 Universal Human Drivers

1. Survival & Security The need to feel safe — physically, financially, socially, and existentially. Manifests as: money, skills, status, shelter, health, preparedness.

2. Autonomy & Freedom The desire to choose one’s own path and not be controlled. Manifests as: entrepreneurship, travel, minimalism, independence, sovereignty.

3. Competence & Mastery The drive to get better, to be capable, skilled, and effective. Manifests as: martial arts, crafts, careers, study, training, obsession with improvement.

4. Purpose & Meaning The need for life to mean something beyond pleasure or survival. Manifests as: service, missions, callings, causes, spiritual paths.

5. Growth & Expansion The impulse to evolve, stretch, explore, and transcend limits. Manifests as: learning, travel, experimentation, personal development.

6. Expression & Creativity The urge to express one’s inner world outwardly. Manifests as: writing, teaching, building, speaking, art, style, leadership.

7. Belonging & Connection The need to be seen, accepted, and part of a tribe. Manifests as: family, teams, dojos, communities, movements.

8. Status & Recognition The desire to be respected, valued, and acknowledged. Manifests as: rank, titles, reputation, authority, influence.

9. Contribution & Service The drive to give, protect, teach, or improve life for others. Manifests as: mentorship, leadership, craftsmanship, healing, building systems.

10. Order & Structure The need for clarity, predictability, and coherence. Manifests as: systems, routines, frameworks, rules, philosophy.

11. Challenge & Struggle The need for resistance — to test oneself against difficulty. Manifests as: combat sports, business risk, endurance, responsibility.

12. Legacy & Continuity The desire to leave something behind that outlives you. Manifests as: children, teachings, institutions, writings, impact.

My Personal Journey: Multiple Vehicles, Common Drivers

My unique personal drivers are at this stage of my life:

• autonomy/freedom
• competence/mastery
• purpose/meaning
• expression/creativity
• order/structure
• challenge/struggle

Understanding these drivers helped me recognize that what I was really pursuing across all areas of my life wasn’t specific activities but consistent ways of being and expressing myself.

Once I understood this, I could see how every major area of my life served as a vehicle for expressing the same core drives, just in different contexts and through different methods.

The Construction Foundation: Building More Than Buildings

I used my job as a construction worker to develop competence in my field and in doing the work I was able to express my creativity and structure to do work that was functional and aesthetically pleasing.

On the surface, construction might seem like purely physical labor — the antithesis of creative or meaningful work.

But when I approached it through the lens of my core drivers, it became a comprehensive platform for development:

Competence/Mastery: Every project offered opportunities to refine my technical skills, learn new techniques, and develop mastery over complex building systems. I wasn’t just putting in time — I was deliberately building expertise.

Expression/Creativity: Construction isn’t just functional; it’s aesthetic. Every building, every installation, every detail presented opportunities to express creativity within structural constraints. The challenge wasn’t unlimited creative freedom but finding elegant solutions within strict parameters.

Order/Structure: The construction process demands systematic thinking, planning, and execution. Materials must be ordered correctly, schedules coordinated, systems integrated. I found deep satisfaction in creating order out of complexity.

Challenge/Struggle: Construction presents constant challenges — technical problems to solve, deadlines to meet, unexpected complications to navigate. Each project pushed me to grow and adapt.

The freedom came as a natural consequence: My competence gave me more freedom and autonomy at work which allowed me to run crews in a way that came from purpose and meaning and which allowed me to continually challenge myself with bigger and more complex projects.

The better I became at my craft, the more autonomy I was given.

Supervisors trusted me to solve problems independently, to make decisions, to run crews.

This autonomy wasn’t given because I demanded it — it was earned through demonstrated competence.

Purpose/Meaning: Leading crews gave me the opportunity to mentor younger workers, to create positive work environments, to build things that would last. The work itself became meaningful because I approached it with intention and care.

The Martial Arts Laboratory: More Than Combat

The same thing happened on the mat.

I went there for the challenge and struggle and for developing competence and mastery in my art, but what I discovered was much broader than just fighting skills.

Challenge/Struggle: Martial arts provided exactly the kind of resistance I craved — physical, mental, and emotional challenges that pushed me beyond comfort zones.

Competence/Mastery: The technical complexity and continuous learning opportunities in martial arts perfectly matched my drive for mastery. There was always another level, always something to improve.

But the unexpected discoveries were equally important: I also discovered a structured system and order for teaching and learning that was more effective than what I learned in school or even in my electrical apprenticeship.

Order/Structure: Martial arts systems are methodological masterpieces — they break down incredibly complex physical and mental skills into learnable, progressive components. The pedagogy was superior to anything I’d experienced in formal education.

Expression/Creativity: I also discovered that martial arts was a system for learning how to express yourself creatively and to give you the freedom to pursue your purpose and meaning.

What looked like rigid training was actually a framework for creative expression. Techniques became vocabulary; sparring became improvisation; teaching became artistic interpretation.

Purpose/Meaning: The deeper I went into martial arts, the more I understood it as a complete system for personal development — not just physical technique but character development, mental discipline, and philosophical understanding.

Autonomy/Freedom: Mastery in martial arts provided a unique kind of freedom — the confidence and capability to move through the world without fear, the self-reliance that comes from proven ability under pressure.

Universal Application: The Driver Discovery

From work and my hobby I then learned how to apply these drivers in everything else I pursued, including my marriage, our businesses, and our daily activities with the people we cared about.

This was the breakthrough moment — realizing that the same drivers that made construction and martial arts satisfying could be applied to every area of life.

In Marriage:

• Competence/Mastery: Developing skills as a husband, learning my wife’s needs and preferences, improving my emotional intelligence
• Expression/Creativity: Finding unique ways to show love, creating shared experiences, building a life together that reflects both our values
• Order/Structure: Creating systems for household management, financial planning, communication patterns
• Challenge/Struggle: Working through conflicts, growing together through difficulties, pushing each other toward better versions of ourselves
• Purpose/Meaning: Building something meaningful together, supporting each other’s growth, creating a foundation for impact
• Autonomy/Freedom: Maintaining individual identity while building shared life, creating mutual independence through interdependence

In Business:

• Competence/Mastery: Developing business skills, understanding markets, serving customers excellently
• Expression/Creativity: Finding unique ways to deliver value, building systems that reflect our values, creating meaningful work
• Order/Structure: Building sustainable systems, creating clear processes, establishing reliable frameworks
• Challenge/Struggle: Tackling complex problems, taking calculated risks, pushing beyond comfort zones
• Purpose/Meaning: Serving customers in meaningful ways, creating value for others, building something that matters
• Autonomy/Freedom: Creating financial independence, building systems that work without constant intervention, designing life on our own terms

The Infinite Expression Principle

And in that, I discovered that there are endless ways to express what is important to you and that there is no one way, just finding the ways that work for you.

This realization was liberating and empowering. Instead of being locked into specific career paths or activities, I understood that I could express my core drivers through virtually any vehicle that allowed for the expression I needed.

The Flexibility Advantage

Career Changes Don’t Mean Starting Over: When I transitioned from construction foreman to helping my wife build her business, I wasn’t abandoning everything I’d learned — I was applying the same drivers in a new context.

Adaptation Without Identity Crisis: Market changes, life circumstances, and new opportunities become exciting rather than threatening when you understand that your core drivers can be expressed through multiple vehicles.

Portfolio Satisfaction: Instead of putting all my fulfillment eggs in one basket, I could develop multiple simultaneous ways to express my drivers — business, martial arts, writing, teaching, relationship building.

Continuous Evolution: As I grew and changed, I could explore new vehicles without losing connection to what fundamentally motivated me.

Common Driver, Different Vehicles Examples from My Life

Order/Structure Driver:

• Construction: Planning complex projects, coordinating multiple trades, ensuring quality systems
• Martial Arts: Learning systematic approaches to technique development and teaching methodology
• Business: Creating sustainable systems for customer acquisition, delivery, and growth
• Marriage: Establishing routines and patterns that support mutual success and satisfaction

Challenge/Struggle Driver:

• Construction: Taking on increasingly complex projects, solving novel technical problems
• Martial Arts: Testing skills under pressure, continuously pushing physical and mental limits
• Business: Tackling difficult customer problems, entering new markets, scaling operations
• Retirement: Learning new skills, writing challenging content, teaching complex concepts

Expression/Creativity Driver:

• Construction: Finding elegant solutions to complex problems, creating functionally beautiful work
• Martial Arts: Developing personal style within technical frameworks, creative teaching approaches
• Business: Innovative approaches to customer service, unique value propositions, creative problem-solving
• Writing: Articulating complex ideas clearly, creating compelling content, developing unique perspectives

Why This Framework Changes Everything

This framework resonated because it:

• Explains motivation without judging expression
• Separates drivers from modalities
• Allows radically different lives to be equally valid
• Explains why people clash (same drive, different expression)
• Gives leaders a way to see people more clearly

Personal Impact

Understanding my drivers versus vehicles changed how I approached every major decision:

Career Decisions: Instead of asking “What job do I want?” I asked “What vehicles allow me to express my drivers while meeting practical needs?”

Relationship Decisions: Instead of looking for someone who shared my specific interests, I looked for someone whose drivers complemented mine and who supported my authentic expression.

Investment Decisions: Instead of chasing every opportunity, I focused on learning experiences and vehicles that aligned with my long-term driver expression.

Daily Decisions: Instead of random activity or passive entertainment, I prioritized activities that fed my core drivers.

Practical Application for Your Life

Step 1: Identify Your Personal Driver Combination

Everyone has a unique combination of 3-6 primary drivers.

Look at the patterns across your life:

• What activities energize you across different contexts?
• What motivates you even when external rewards are minimal?
• What themes appear repeatedly in your choices and interests?
• When do you feel most alive and engaged?

Step 2: Audit Your Current Vehicles

For each major area of your life, ask:

• Which of my core drivers does this express?
• Which of my drivers are undernourished?
• Where am I pursuing vehicles that don’t match my actual drivers?
• What opportunities exist to better express my drivers within current constraints?

Step 3: Develop Multiple Expression Vehicles

Don’t put all your fulfillment eggs in one basket:

• Primary Vehicle: Your main income source that expresses some of your drivers
• Secondary Vehicles: Additional areas where you can express different drivers or the same drivers differently
• Development Vehicles: Areas where you’re building competence for future expression
• Pure Expression Vehicles: Activities you pursue purely for the joy of expressing your drivers

Step 4: Build Bridge Skills

Develop the practical capabilities that allow your driver expression to be sustainable:

• Business and financial skills regardless of your field
• Communication and relationship skills for any context
• Learning and adaptation skills for changing circumstances
• Self-management skills for long-term sustainability

Conclusion: Freedom Through Understanding

The “follow your passion” advice fails because it confuses drivers with vehicles and ignores the practical foundation required for sustainable satisfaction.

My personal journey through construction, martial arts, marriage, and business taught me that:

• Your drivers are your compass — they point toward what will fulfill you
• Vehicles are your tools — they’re how you express and develop your drivers
• Foundation is your platform — it’s what makes authentic expression sustainable
• Evolution is your growth — new vehicles keep your drivers fresh and expanding

Instead of asking “What am I passionate about?” ask:

• What drives me at the deepest level?
• What are multiple ways I could express these drivers?
• Which vehicles offer both fulfillment and sustainability?
• How can I build the foundation that enables authentic choice?

The goal isn’t to escape practical constraints but to find creative ways to express your authentic self within them.

When you understand your drivers and remain flexible about vehicles, every area of life becomes an opportunity for meaningful expression.

• Build your foundation.
• Understand your drivers.
• Stay flexible on vehicles.
• Express authentically.

That’s how you create a life that’s both sustainable and deeply satisfying — not despite practical constraints, but through creative engagement with them.