Are You a Dog? Then Stop Responding Like One.

Dopamine addiction, notifications, and why giving your power away is killing your success.

I guess I’m really lucky.

I joined the workforce in 1983. Started my electrical career in 1986.

Long before smartphones. Hell, long before any phones at all on the jobsite.

I remember the first time I got a work pager. I had to keep coins in my pocket at all times so I could call the shop from a payphone when they wanted to get in touch with me.

I guess this is my “ok Boomer” bit. Something one of the young men at the cafe had to explain to me, lol.

But here’s the thing:

I got to build my career, my skills, my life without being chained to a device that demanded my attention every thirty seconds.

And I’m watching an entire generation lose that ability.

Not because they’re weak. Not because they’re lazy.

But because they’ve been trained—literally trained, like Pavlov’s dog—to salivate at the sound of a bell and come running for a treat.

Notifications. Chimes. Badges. Likes. Followers.

All designed to hijack your brain and steal your power.

And if you don’t learn to break free from it, you will never be successful long-term.

Not because you’re not talented. But because you’ve given your power away.

The Moment I Saw It Clearly

I was at a cafe a few weeks ago.

A young man was having breakfast with his grandfather. They were talking. Laughing. Connecting.

Then his phone chirped.

Mid-sentence, the kid stopped listening. Picked up his phone. Started scrolling.

The grandfather just sat there. Waiting. Like this was normal.

And maybe it is normal now. But it’s not okay.

That kid gave his power away. He gave his attention—the most valuable thing he has—to a device. To a notification. To something that maybe wasn’t even important.

And he didn’t even realize he was doing it.

That’s the problem. It’s not a conscious choice anymore. It’s a reflex.

You’ve been trained to respond. Like a dog.

Pavlov’s Dog and Your Smartphone

You know the experiment.

​Pavlov rang a bell every time he fed his dogs. Eventually, the dogs started salivating at the sound of the bell—even when there was no food.

They’d been conditioned. Trained. Their response was automatic.

Your smartphone works the same way.

Every time you get a notification, your brain gets a hit of dopamine. A little reward. A little spike of pleasure.

Over time, your brain learns:

Notification = reward.

So now, every time your phone buzzes, chimes, or lights up, your brain expects that hit. And you respond automatically.

You don’t think about it. You don’t choose it.

You just react. Like a dog.

And the companies that design these apps? They know exactly what they’re doing.

They hired psychologists. Neuroscientists. Behavioral experts.

Their job?

Make the app as addictive as possible.

• Keep you scrolling.
• Keep you checking.
• Keep you coming back.

It’s not an accident. It’s by design.

And it’s working.

The Cost of Giving Your Power Away

Here’s what happens when you give your attention away every time your phone demands it:

1. You lose the ability to focus.

​Deep work—the kind of focused, uninterrupted work that builds real skill and creates real value—requires sustained attention.

You can’t do deep work if you’re checking your phone every five minutes.

You can’t build mastery if you’re constantly distracted.

2. You lose the ability to think.

Real thinking requires space. Silence. Time to process, reflect, connect ideas.

When you’re constantly consuming—scrolling, clicking, reacting—you’re not thinking. You’re just consuming.

And consumption doesn’t build anything. It just fills time.

3. You lose real relationships.

You can’t build a real relationship with someone if you’re half-present. If you’re checking your phone while they’re talking. If you’re more interested in what’s happening on a screen than what’s happening in front of you.

Real relationships require presence. And presence requires putting the phone away.

4. You lose your agency.

Every time you respond to a notification, you’re letting someone else control your attention.

You’re not deciding what’s important. The app is deciding for you.

You’re not in control. You’re being controlled.

5. You lose your time.

The average person checks their phone 96 times a day. That’s once every ten minutes during waking hours.

Each check might only take a few seconds. But those seconds add up.

And more importantly, each interruption breaks your focus. And it takes time to get back into flow.

You’re not just losing the time you spend on your phone. You’re losing the time it takes to recover from the interruption.

The Comparison to Cocaine Isn’t Hyperbole

Social media, video game apps, the internet—they’re designed to be as addictive as a few lines of blow.​

I’m not exaggerating.

​Studies show that social media activates the same reward pathways in your brain as cocaine. The same dopamine hit. The same craving. The same compulsion.

I grew up in the 80s. I remember a few coworkers who got caught up in that lifestyle.

And the results were catastrophic.

Lost jobs. Lost relationships. Lost potential.

The same thing is happening now. Just with a different drug.

And because it’s socially acceptable—because everyone’s doing it—we don’t see it as a problem.

But it is a problem. A massive one.

Why You’ll Never Be Successful If You Don’t Fix This

Here’s the brutal truth:

You will never be successful long-term if you continue to give your power away.

Success requires focus. Deep work. The ability to develop real skills over time.

You can’t do that if you’re constantly distracted.

Success requires building real relationships. With mentors. With partners. With clients. With your team.

You can’t do that if you’re half-present, checking your phone while they’re talking.

Success requires impulse control. The ability to delay gratification. The ability to do hard things even when you don’t feel like it.

You can’t develop that if you’re constantly chasing the next dopamine hit.

Success requires agency. The ability to decide what’s important and focus on it.

You can’t have agency if you’re letting notifications control your attention.

The Framework: How to Take Your Power Back

Here’s how you break free:

Step 1: Turn off the chimes and notifications.

All of them.

You don’t need to know the instant someone likes your post. You don’t need to know the instant you get an email. You don’t need to know the instant someone texts you.

Turn off the notifications. Check your phone on your schedule, not theirs.

Step 2: Stop chasing badges and followers.

Badges, streaks, follower counts—they’re all designed to keep you engaged. To keep you coming back.

They don’t matter. They’re not real achievements.

Real achievement is building a skill. Creating something valuable. Helping someone. Making progress toward a meaningful goal.

Stop optimizing for fake metrics. Start optimizing for real results.

Step 3: Create phone-free zones.

Designate times and places where your phone doesn’t exist.

During meals. During conversations. During deep work sessions. During training.

Put the phone in another room. Turn it off. Make it physically difficult to check.

Step 4: Build the skill of sustained focus.

Start small. Set a timer for 25 minutes. Work on one thing without interruption.

No phone. No email. No distractions.

Just you and the work.

When the timer goes off, take a break. Then do it again.

Over time, increase the duration. Build up to 90-minute deep work sessions.

This is how you develop real skill. This is how you create real value.

Step 5: Practice impulse control.

Every time you feel the urge to check your phone, pause.

Notice the urge. Don’t act on it immediately.

Wait 60 seconds. Then decide: Is this actually important, or is it just a craving?

Most of the time, it’s just a craving. And cravings pass.

The more you practice not responding to the urge, the weaker the urge becomes.

Step 6: Focus on the journey, not the endpoint.

Goals are useful as pointers. They give you direction.

But the real work is in the journey. The daily practice. The incremental progress.

Stop obsessing over the outcome. Stop checking metrics every five minutes.

Focus on showing up. Doing the work. Building the skill.

The results will come. But only if you’re present for the process.

What I See in Construction and Martial Arts

You know where I don’t see this problem?

On the jobsite. And on the mat.

Because you can’t do those things half-present.

You can’t work on a hot panel while checking your phone. You can’t frame a wall while scrolling Instagram.

The work demands your full attention. Or you fail. Or you get hurt.

Same with martial arts. You can’t roll while checking notifications. You can’t drill techniques while thinking about your follower count.

The mat demands presence. Or you get submitted.

And that’s why those environments build real skill. Real competence. Real confidence.

Because they require you to be fully present. Fully engaged. Fully committed.

That’s what deep work looks like. That’s what mastery requires.

And you can’t get there if you’re giving your power away to a device.

The Young Man and His Grandfather

I think about that kid at the cafe.

His grandfather won’t be around forever. Maybe another ten years. Maybe five. Maybe less.

And this kid is spending that precious time staring at a screen.

Not because he’s a bad person. Not because he doesn’t care.

But because he’s been trained to respond to the bell.

And he doesn’t even realize what he’s losing.

That’s the tragedy.

Not that the technology exists. But that we’ve let it train us. Control us. Steal our attention from the things that actually matter.

The people right in front of us. The work that builds real value. The moments that create real memories.

The Choice

You have a choice.

You can keep responding to every notification. Keep chasing every badge. Keep giving your power away.

Or you can take it back.

You can turn off the notifications. You can put the phone away. You can build the skill of sustained focus.

You can be present for the people in front of you. You can do deep work that builds real skill. You can develop impulse control that separates you from the crowd.

You don’t have to be top dog. But you also don’t have to be a dog at all.

You can be a human being with agency. With focus. With the power to decide what deserves your attention.

But only if you stop letting a device make that decision for you.

The Challenge

Here’s what I ask you to do this week:

Turn off all non-essential notifications on your phone.

Not just silence them. Turn them off.

Then create one phone-free zone in your life.

Maybe it’s during meals. Maybe it’s during conversations with people you care about. Maybe it’s during your morning deep work session.

Pick one. Commit to it. Protect it.

Notice what happens. Notice how hard it is at first. Notice the urge to check.

And notice what you gain when you don’t give in to that urge.

More focus. More presence. More real connection. More real progress.

That’s your power. Take it back.

The Truth

If you want to be healthy, happy, successful, and less stressed, you need to stop giving your power away.

Stop responding to every chime. Stop chasing every badge. Stop letting notifications control your attention.

Focus on the journey. Use goals as pointers, not endpoints.

Build real skills. Create real relationships. Do real work.

You’ll be much happier. And much more successful.

But only if you stop being a dog.

Are you ready to take your power back?