The Most Important (but Least Asked) Question for a Happy, Successful Life

You’re standing at a crossroads.

You’ve got a dozen opportunities pulling you in different directions—career paths, hobbies, relationships, business ideas.

Each one looks shiny, exciting, and full of potential.

But there’s a problem: the more options you have, the harder it is to decide where to go.

It’s overwhelming.

You might start asking yourself questions like:

• What should I do next?
• How should I do it?

But here’s the kicker: these are the wrong questions to ask.

The real question—the one that cuts through the noise, simplifies your life, and gives you clarity—isn’t about the what or the how. It’s about the why.

The Bedrock of Happiness and Success

Let me tell you a quick story.

When I was a kid, I was obsessed with figuring out how things worked.

My mom, trying to keep up with my endless questions, handed me a stack of books, the Tell Me Why series.

They were filled with answers about why the sky is blue, why cars run on gas, and why planes fly.

For a curious kid in the 70s, these books were gold.

But as I got older, I realized something: “why” wasn’t just about science or mechanics.

It was about life.

Every time I asked myself why—whether it was about a career move, a decision in martial arts, or even relationships—it forced me to stop and think.

It stripped away all the surface-level noise and got me to the core of what really mattered.

And here’s what I’ve learned: if you don’t know your why, nothing else matters.

Think about it like building a skyscraper.

The part you see—the shiny glass windows, the steel beams, the breathtaking view from the top floor—is what everyone focuses on.

But none of that would exist without the foundation.

The part you don’t see—the bedrock, deep underground—is what keeps the whole thing standing.

Your why is the foundation.

It’s not glamorous.

It’s not something you can post on Instagram.

But if it’s not solid, everything you build on top of it—your job, your relationships, your goals—will be shaky and prone to collapse.

Why Most People Skip the Hard Question

Let’s be honest.

Asking why is hard.

Most people skip it because it’s easier to focus on the what and the how.

Those are tangible.

They give you a sense of progress.

You can check them off a to-do list and feel accomplished.

• What should I do to get promoted?
• How can I lose 10 pounds in 30 days?
• What’s the fastest way to make money online?

But here’s the problem: if you don’t start with why, all the whats and hows become meaningless.

You might climb the corporate ladder only to realize it’s leaning against the wrong wall.

You might hit your fitness goals but still feel empty.

You might make money but have no idea what you’re working toward.

Here’s a simple example:

Imagine you want to start your own business.

The what might be creating an online course.

The how could be learning marketing, building a website, and launching ads.

But if you don’t ask why—why you’re doing this in the first place—you might waste months (or years) chasing a goal that doesn’t align with what you truly want.

Without a why, it’s like driving without a destination.

Sure, you’re moving, but where are you actually going?

The Power of the 5 Whys

This brings me to one of the most powerful tools I’ve ever discovered: the 5 Whys.​

I first came across this exercise while working in construction but studying marketing to help build my wife's business.​

It’s a problem-solving method used in engineering and manufacturing to get to the root cause of an issue.

But when I started applying it to my personal life, it completely changed the game.

Here’s how it works:

You start with a question—something you want to achieve or understand—and then ask "why is that important" five times.

Each answer builds on the last, peeling back layers until you reach the core.

Let me show you what this looks like:

• What do you want?​
  “I want to start my own business.”
• Why?​
  “Because I want more freedom.”
• Why do you want more freedom?​
  “Because I feel trapped in my current job.”
• Why do you feel trapped?​
  “Because I don’t feel like I’m making a difference.”
• Why is making a difference important to you?​
  “Because I want to leave a legacy and help others grow.”

By the fifth why, you’re no longer talking about starting a business—you’re uncovering your deeper motivation: the desire to make an impact.

When I first tried this exercise, I was skeptical.

But here’s the crazy part: when you hit the right answer, you’ll feel it.

For me, it brought tears to my eyes—a shocking experience for someone who’s always seen themselves as a no-nonsense, stoic, blue-collar type.

That’s the power of why.

It cuts through your defenses and hits something raw and real.

Showing You How It Works

Let’s take this out of the abstract and into real life.

Picture a guy in his late 20s, stuck in a job he doesn’t love.

He spends his free time scrolling Instagram, seeing people living their dream lives—traveling, running their own businesses, doing work they’re passionate about.

He feels stuck, but he doesn’t know why.

He decides to ask himself the 5 Whys:

1. Why am I unhappy in my job?​
   “Because it feels boring and repetitive.”
2. Why does that bother me?​
   “Because I don’t feel like I’m growing.”
3. Why do I want to grow?​
   “Because I want to feel challenged and excited about my work.”
4. Why is that important?​
   “Because I want my work to feel meaningful.”
5. Why does meaning matter to me?​
   “Because I want to look back on my life and feel proud of what I’ve done.”

By the end, he realizes his dissatisfaction isn’t really about the job—it’s about the lack of growth and meaning.

Armed with this clarity, he can start making decisions that align with his deeper why.

Maybe he doesn’t need to quit his job right away.

Maybe he just needs to take on projects that challenge him or start building something on the side that excites him.

Why Why Brings Joy (Yes, Really)

Here’s the surprising thing: once you start asking why, life gets a lot more fun.

You stop wasting time chasing things that don’t matter.

You stop comparing yourself to others because their whys aren’t the same as yours.

You start making decisions that feel aligned and authentic.

For me, understanding my why has brought more clarity and joy than almost anything else.

When I know why I’m doing something—whether it’s starting a new project, training in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, or traveling with my wife—it feels purposeful.

Even when things get hard, having a clear why keeps me grounded.

It’s the difference between feeling lost and feeling like you’re on a mission.

Why Are You Here?

So here’s the challenge: stop asking what and how for a moment.

Instead, start with why.

• Why are you pursuing that goal?
• Why are you stuck where you are?
• Why do you want what you want?

Take the time to dig deep.

Use the 5 Whys exercise.

Sit with your answers until they hit something real.

Because here’s the truth: your why is the bedrock of everything.

It’s not flashy or glamorous, but it’s what keeps you standing when life gets tough.

It’s what makes your successes meaningful and your failures bearable.

So if you want to live a happy, successful life, start with the question most people avoid: why?

And who knows?

You might just uncover something that changes everything.

P.S. If you found this content helpful, I have a favor to ask.

Actually two of them, a selfish one and a not-so-selfish one.

First the selfish one, if this was helpful to you, forward it to someone you think it might help. That helps me to grow my reach.

Now the not-selfish one, the one thing I learned on the mat and on the job was that the most successful leaders were not the ones who knew the most but were the ones who applied and taught the most.

So, if you want to be a better leader, do two things, take immediate action on what you learned today AND share it with someone else. You'll look badass, I promise you.

Also, if you have any questions, comments or suggestions, hit me up, reply to this email and let me know what's going on and how I can help you to be a better warrior, leader, and badass.

Thank you, I appreciate you being here in The Daily Dojo, you can learn more at CharlesDoublet.com​