Why Are You Doing What You're Doing?

The Life-Changing Power of Intention

Part 1: Start with Why

I was sitting at the back of a coffee shop the other day, sipping my drip Guatemalan light roast, watching the late-morning crowd filter in—laptops opening, notifications pinging, people scrolling and sipping, posting and pretending to work.

And in the corner sat this guy—early 30s, decent clothes, solid build, nice gear.

But his eyes?

Vacant.

He had 3 screens open at once, a laptop, tablet and his phone.

He was doom-scrolling TikTok on one screen, clicking through YouTube clips on another, while some podcast droned in his headphones.

I noticed him for over an hour.

He didn’t write a thing. Didn’t read a thing. Just fed his brain an endless buffet of noise.

And it hit me: this dude had no idea why he was doing what he was doing.

Contrast that with the guy I rolled with later that afternoon at the academy.

New white belt.

Gassed out in the first minute.

Got swept, smashed, and tapped over and over.

But he came up grinning. “I want to learn,” he said. “I need this. I’ve been avoiding hard shit too long.”

That guy was clear.

He had an intention.

And that’s the difference.

I’m not telling you this because I’m some sage sitting on a mountain with all the answers.

Hell no.

I wrestle with this same stuff daily.

I get tired, distracted, sad, overwhelmed—just like you.

But when I’m locked into my why, I navigate through that darkness with a compass, not just drift in it.

So ask yourself right now:

Why are you doing what you’re doing?

Because if you don’t know, someone else will answer that for you. And chances are…

They don’t have your best interest at heart.

Part 2: The Hidden Power of Intention

Most people drift.
They go to work, go home, open Instagram, order food, binge Netflix, rinse and repeat.
They’re not evil.

They’re not lazy.
​They’re just lost.

Not because they lack discipline—but because they lack direction.

Discipline without direction is torture.
Discomfort without a destination is just pain.

But discomfort with purpose?

That’s training.

Intention is the difference between burning out and leveling up.

And here's what no one tells you:

Let’s break it down.

The 3 Levels of Action: Drift, Default, and Design

1. The Drift Life

And I don't mean in a Tokyo Drift kind of way.

This is what most people are doing.

They scroll without thinking.
They hang out with whoever happens to be around.
They let their schedule get filled by other people’s priorities.
They react. They cope. They wait.

The Drift Life feels “easy,” but over time it becomes a trap.
It’s the slow death of potential.

And the worst part?
It feels normal.​
Because everyone else is doing it too.

2. The Default Life

This is slightly better.

This is when you go to work because you “should.”
You work out because “you’re supposed to.”
You pursue success because it’s “the thing to do.”

But you never stop and ask:
​What’s my dream? My vision? My values?

This life is externally motivated.
You’re doing all the “right” things—but they don’t feel right.
You’re succeeding by someone else’s scoreboard.

You feel guilty for not being fulfilled.

3. The Designed Life

This is the goal.

You act based on who you want to become, not who you’re trying to impress.
You make decisions based on your values, not the culture’s algorithms.
You train, build, rest, and connect with purpose.

You know why you’re on the mat.
Why you’re learning that new skill.
Why you’re saying no to that event, that person, that quick dopamine hit.

And guess what?

This life doesn’t always feel good.
But it feels right.

You’re not being pulled by cravings—you’re guided by conviction.

The Simple Filter That Changes Everything

Here’s the key: Ask better questions.

Start using a simple intention filter:

• Is this mind-expanding or mind-escaping?
• Am I embracing discomfort or running from it?
• Is this helping or hindering where I want to go?
• Am I consuming or creating?
• Am I avoiding or advancing?

You don’t have to ask all five every time. One will do.
But every time you pause—even for a second—you break the spell of drift.

You reconnect with you.

Intention in Practice

Let’s look at a few areas where intention flips the script.

1. Social Media

• Without intention: mindless scrolling, comparison, rage-bait.
• With intention: building your brand, sharing your story, connecting with your tribe.

2. Relationships

• Without intention: hanging out with whoever’s around.
• With intention: curating your circle, setting standards, choosing love over loneliness.

3. Work

• Without intention: working to not get fired, collecting paychecks.
• With intention: building mastery, solving problems, playing the long game.

4. Training

• Without intention: going through the motions, trying not to lose.
• With intention: studying the art, sharpening the blade, pursuing growth.

But What If You Don’t Know Your Purpose Yet?

That’s okay. You don’t need a 10-year life plan.
You just need a reason for this moment.

If you’re about to go train, say to yourself,
“I’m doing this to become stronger, more disciplined, more focused.”

If you’re going to work, say,
“I’m doing this to earn, to learn, and to build the skills I need for what’s next.”

If you’re resting, say,
“I’m doing this to recover so I can show up stronger tomorrow.”

Even rest has power when it’s intentional.

The Truth You Can’t Ignore

Whether you know it or not, you’re training something every day.

• Train fear, and fear grows.
• Train excuses, and excuses multiply.
• Train distraction, and focus fades.

But…

• Train courage, and it becomes your default.
• Train purpose, and your path becomes clearer.
• Train with intention, and you’ll live with power.

That’s the secret sauce.

That’s how you stop drifting.
That’s how you start living.

Part 3: My Wake Up Call and Check-in

A few weeks ago, I was feeling off.
Not sick. Not tired. Just… empty.

I had gone to BJJ every day that week.
I had written. Posted. Called friends. Did all the things.
But I felt like a ghost. Just drifting through it all.

So I did something that’s always worked for me:
I unplugged everything. Left the phone at home.

Walked to a quiet spot near the beach.
Sat down. Stared at the waves. And asked myself,

Not in a dramatic, existential way.
But like a mechanic tuning an engine.
Just checking the alignment. Adjusting the tension.

And I realized—I had been performing instead of practicing.
I was chasing results instead of refining my craft.
I had drifted.

It happens to all of us.
Even now. Even after all these years of learning, training, building.
But the difference?
I caught it.
Because I had the habit of asking the question.

That’s the difference between you and 99% of the world.
You’re reading this.
You care.
You want to become someone better.

That’s where it starts.

So here’s your invitation:

Putting It On the Mat

1. Ask yourself “why” three times today. Before you open an app. Before you train. Before you eat.
   Just ask. Pause. Decide.
2. Choose one area to live with more intention this week. Just one: social media, workouts, friendships, work, whatever. Be brutally honest. And get surgical with your time.
3. Build a daily check-in ritual. Every night, ask:
   • What did I do today with intention?
   • Where did I drift?
   • What’s one thing I’ll do on purpose tomorrow?

You don’t need to be perfect.
You just need to be aware.

Drift is the enemy.
Design is the way.

So ask yourself again—right now:
​Why are you doing what you’re doing?

And if the answer doesn’t fire you up,
Change the answer.
Change the action.
Change the path.

Because if you’re not writing your own story…
you’re just a character in someone else’s.

Let’s fix that.
Let’s train.
Let’s live on purpose.

P.S. Time is the one resource you have which creates all of your other resources, and if you don't manage it well, everything else falls apart.

I've put everything I've learned in over 40 years of my life, being on the mat, running multi-million and billion-dollar construction projects and being happily married for over 24 years in this book.

Not to show how badass I am but to help you to be an even bigger, bolder badass yourself.
​
Get it here: Control Your Time, Control Your Life​