Mind Your Own Business

Why the Secret to a Better Life Isn’t in Fixing the World—It’s in Fixing Yourself

It was supposed to be a celebration.

September 11, 2001—my first birthday with Amy.

We were still in that sweet, early rhythm of new love.

The day started off beautifully.

I woke up beside her and got ready for work, thinking how grateful I was to have found this beautiful woman.

Then I headed off on my bike for work.

There was no traffic that early LA morning, and I was thinking, "This is going to be an awesome birthday."

Then the world cracked open.

By midmorning, everything had changed.

I remember standing there in shock, like most of the country, watching the towers fall on TV.

Over and over and over again. The horror looped.

Every station. Every screen. It was like time had frozen, and we were all being held hostage by the moment.

But what struck me most wasn’t just the tragedy—it was what happened afterward.

Some of my family members couldn’t stop watching. One in particular sat glued to the television, replaying the footage dozens of times.

When I asked, “Why are you watching it again?” they said, “I want to feel what they’re going through.”

It floored me.

Why would you want to feel that kind of pain?

Especially if you weren’t going to do anything about it. Watching once, maybe twice, okay—for compassion, for awareness.

But to let it consume you?

That was the first time I saw something clearly: people love to feel involved in things they can’t control while ignoring the one thing they can—their own life.

That moment planted the seed of a lifelong lesson: mind your own business.

The Truth Few Want to Admit

We live in a time where everyone has an opinion about everything.

They tweet. They post. They rage in comment sections.

Everyone’s a critic, an expert, a pundit.

But here’s what the most successful people I’ve met all have in common:

They’re too busy doing their own work to complain about what others are doing.

The ones who win—at life, in business, in relationships—aren’t wasting energy watching other people’s drama.

They’re creating, building, fixing, learning.

They aren’t driven by outrage. They’re driven by outcomes.

Let me be clear—this isn’t about ignorance.

This isn’t about sticking your head in the sand or pretending the world is perfect.

It’s about where your energy goes.

If you're constantly focused on what others are doing wrong, you rob yourself of the time, energy, and bandwidth to do what you need to do right.

The Cost of Meddling

There’s a funny contradiction in human nature:

We hate being told what to do. But we love telling others what they should be doing.

And yet—most people giving advice aren’t qualified to do so. Why?

Because their own house is a mess. Their finances are wrecked. Their health is ignored. Their relationships are crumbling.

But they’ll spend hours debating politics or gossiping about celebrities or complaining about "them."

Who’s them?

It’s whoever you’ve decided to blame today for why your life isn’t better.

This obsession with other people’s lives? It’s a distraction. A sedative. A socially acceptable way to avoid the hard, uncomfortable truth:

Your life is your responsibility.

The Power of Focus

You want to change the world? Start with your world.

When I was coming up as an apprentice electrician, I didn’t have the time or luxury to waste hours on gossip or petty drama. I was working side-by-side with men who were hardened, tough, and didn’t suffer fools.

You showed up. You got the job done.

And if you didn’t, you learned quick.

It was there I learned the value of focus.

Of keeping your eyes on your work. I wasn’t trying to fix everyone else’s mistakes—I was trying not to make my own.

And if someone messed up next to me? You help them if they’re trying, but you don’t make their problem yours if they’re not.

Minding your own business doesn’t mean you don’t care—it means you care enough to take responsibility for your own life first.

Victimhood Is a Trap

Now let’s talk about the real enemy here: victim mentality.

When you constantly talk about what they are doing—the government, the economy, your ex, your boss, the elite, the system—you give away your power.

Is the system rigged?

Sure.

Are some people born with advantages you didn’t have?

Absolutely.

But sitting around complaining about it won’t change a damn thing. You know what will?

Becoming unstoppable.

Getting so good they can’t ignore you.

Building so much skill, discipline, and clarity that no system, no person, no setback can hold you down for long.

That takes work. And work requires energy.

And energy wasted on gossip, outrage, or blame is energy not spent on getting better.

Service Starts With Self

You’ve probably heard this quote:

It sounds brutal. But if you look past the surface, it’s wise.

You can’t pour from an empty cup.

You can’t save someone from drowning if you’re drowning too.

The world needs strong, clear-headed, capable people. And you don’t become that by yelling at the news or arguing on Reddit.

You become that by investing in yourself.

• Fix your finances.
• Train your body.
• Sharpen your mind.
• Heal your trauma.
• Create stability.
• Learn skills.
• Build networks.

And then, once you’ve built a strong foundation, help others rise.

That’s what I’m doing now in my 50s. I wasn’t preaching in my 20s—I was grinding.

Failing.

Learning.

Figuring things out.

Now, with some wins under my belt and a bit more clarity, I can turn around and help those a few steps behind me.

But it all started by minding my own business.

Seeing It On the Mat

I was rolling on a Saturday a couple weeks ago.

I saw students that I normally don't see in the noon classes because they're at 9-5 day jobs where they can't get away.

There was this one purple belt—walking around, animated, giving unsolicited advice.

The kind of guy who would pause mid-roll to critique your technique...even if you didn’t ask.

I watched him roll. Sloppy. Fast. Full of ego.

I heard later from one of the professors that he hasn't been promoted because he's not improving, spending more time "teaching" than training.

Then I watched another guy. Quiet. Calm. Patient. Never said much.

When he rolled, it looked like poetry—controlled, composed, precise.

One day, I paired up with him. I thought, "Okay, let’s see what he’s got."

He didn’t say a word. We slapped hands, bumped fists, and in 20 seconds, he was on my back, choking me out, and there I am tapping and wondering what the hell just happened.

No chest pounding. No need to explain anything. He just did his work.

After class, I asked him, “How long you been training?”

“About 12 years,” he said, smiling. “Just trying to get a little better every day.”

That’s it. No fanfare. No lectures.

Just a man who minds his business and sharpens his sword.

That’s the kind of leader I respect. The kind I aspire to be. The kind I want you to become.

So here’s your challenge:

Stop watching others.

Stop scrolling, complaining, debating, and wishing.

Instead, train. Improve. Read. Reflect. Build. Practice.

Take care of your business—your finances, your fitness, your focus.

Because if you do that long enough, you’ll wake up one day and realize...

• You’re no longer distracted.
• You’re no longer pointing fingers.
• You’re no longer angry at the world.

You’ve become the kind of man others want to follow.

And when the world needs you? You’ll be ready.

Putting It On the Mat

Start this week with a simple discipline:

• Write down three things in your life that need attention.
• Write down three things you’ve been wasting energy on that aren’t your business.
• Trade one for the other.

Do that every week for a year, and watch how much your life changes.

Because warriors don’t waste time on other people’s nonsense.
They build the life they were born to live.

You want to be a warrior, a leader, a badass?

Mind your own business.

Are you sicked and tired of being surrounded by losers, lemmings and Luddites?

Then join the Leader's Dojo, where you not only discover how badass you are but you're surrounded by other badass warriors and leaders who will help you to be even better.

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