Fear, Stress, and Overwhelm:
The Real Training Grounds of a Badass

I was getting smashed again.

Not something stupid like in a bar fight, on Twitter, or in a meeting.

But on the mat.

Again.

There I was, under the crushing weight of someone stronger, faster, and more skilled than me—again.

I could barely breathe, couldn’t move, and all I could think was,

And then, like it has for decades, the answer showed up too:

Because I like it.

In a weird, twisted, warrior-monk kind of way—I like getting smashed.

Not because I’m some masochist, but because I know what it means: I’m learning. I’m growing. I’m building resilience. It’s the forge where fear melts and grit is shaped.

That lesson came back to me recently—off the mat.

Life was starting to smash me. My business was weighing down on me. Projects felt too big. Problems too complex. I was stressed out, overwhelmed, and a little afraid.

But then I remembered that feeling on the mat. That sense of powerlessness. And how it never meant defeat, only opportunity.

I stepped back and asked myself: What would the mat version of me do here?

Simple. Breathe. Defend. Find structure. Wait for an opening. Don’t panic. Don’t quit.

And just like that, the stress started to dissolve.

A few blue belts at the gym recently told me how hard it’s gotten to finish me.

One of them joked, “It’s like you’re impossible to tap.” I laughed. I’m not winning, I’m just not losing as much.

Even a brown belt pulled me aside and said, “You’re moving way smoother now.”

I shared some adjustments I’d made, blending my old hapkido training with BJJ.

He nodded and said, “It shows.”

Turns out, life’s no different than rolling—just a little more personal.

Building the Muscles to Be a Warrior

Let’s talk about what separates warriors from wimps.

It’s not muscles.
It’s not money.
It’s not black belts.

It’s how they deal with fear, stress, and overwhelm.

We all face hard stuff.

All of us.

The only difference is what we do with it.

Warriors lean in. Wimps run away.

Badasses breathe through the storm. Bitches let the storm break them.

1. The Truth About Fear

Fear is part of being human.

It’s your nervous system doing its job. Trying to protect you. Back when we lived in caves, fear kept us alive. It told us to run from lions and jump away from snakes.

But today?

Most of your fear isn’t life-or-death. It’s ego fear. Emotional fear. Social fear.

• What if I fail?
• What if she rejects me?
• What if they laugh at me?
• What if I’m not good enough?

That’s not real danger. That’s your brain trying to keep you comfortable. But comfort is the enemy of growth.

Every time you lean into fear—just a little—you get stronger.

Fear is not the enemy. Fear is the compass.

2. Understanding Stress

Stress is what happens when reality doesn’t match your expectations.

You think life should be easy… but it’s hard.
You think your plan should work… but it doesn’t.
You think you should be further along… but you’re not.

So your body reacts: fast heart rate, shallow breath, foggy thinking.

That’s stress.

But here’s the thing: stress is not bad.

Chronic stress is bad—yes. But stress, when managed, is like lifting heavy weights. It builds you. Makes you stronger.

What matters is how you respond to stress:

• Do you breathe or do you freak out?
• Do you move forward or do you freeze?
• Do you learn or do you lash out?

Warriors train themselves to respond, not react.

3. The Overwhelm Trap

Overwhelm is a sneaky one.

It whispers, “It’s too much.”
It screams, “You can’t do this.”
It floods your mind with everything at once.

And what happens? You do nothing.

You scroll. You distract yourself. You quit.

But overwhelm isn’t about having too much to do. It’s about trying to do too much at once.

Here’s the truth:

The antidote to overwhelm is focus.
One rep.
One round.
One email.
One phone call.
One breath.

That’s it.

Overwhelm dies when you break the big into small.

4. Why Badasses Train for Chaos

Martial arts are practice for chaos.

They prepare you to move under pressure. To think while being attacked. To act when you want to shut down.

That’s what life demands too.

Getting punched in the face or choked out on the mat? It’s just practice. Practice for when life comes at you full force.

Because life will punch you.

Hard.

So how do you train for it?

• You get uncomfortable—on purpose.
• You lean into challenges—on purpose.
• You stay calm under pressure—on purpose.

You train yourself to feel the fear and move anyway.

You train to breathe through stress.
You train to simplify overwhelm.
You train to stand when others fold.

5. The Practice of Leaning In

Every warrior has a practice.

Mine is BJJ.
Yours might be business, art, fitness, or raising a family.

But the principle is the same:

Lean in.

That’s what builds the muscle of resilience.

It’s not magic.
It’s not genetics.
It’s not luck.

It’s practice.

You become a badass by doing hard things on purpose—every day—until the hard things stop scaring you.

Not because they got easier.

But because you got stronger.

Putting It On the Mat

A few months ago, I was talking to a young guy on the mat—early 20s, athletic, tough, but you could see he was wrestling with more than just jiu-jitsu.

After class, he stayed behind, still sitting on the mat with that look. You know the one—staring off into the middle distance, mind somewhere else.

So I sat down next to him.

“What’s going on?” I asked.

He looked at me and said, “Honestly, I feel like life’s beating the shit out of me.”

I nodded. “You feel like you’re getting smashed?”

“Yeah,” he said, “just like in here—but out there.”

I told him something simple.

The same thing I’m telling you:

What you do here—the way you show up, the way you deal with getting crushed, the way you fight through fatigue and failure—that’s the practice.

It’s not separate from life. It is life.

And the same is true in business, in love, in every challenge you face. Life will press down on your chest, make it hard to breathe, pin you in ways you didn’t expect.

But you’ve trained for this.

You can train for this.

You just need to:

• Show up—even when you’re scared
• Breathe—even when you’re under pressure
• Move—even when you feel stuck
• Learn—even when it sucks

This is how you become someone that others can count on. This is how you earn your own self-respect. This is how you stop folding and start leading.

And here's the deal:

You don’t have to be fearless.
You don’t have to be perfect.

You just have to lean in.

Badasses don’t avoid the fire. They walk towards it.

And the more you do that, the more you’ll start to hear something surprising—from others and from yourself:

“It shows.”

So now it’s your turn.

Whatever’s pressing down on you—business, relationships, decisions, life—it’s just like getting smashed on the mat. You don’t panic. You don’t flail. You don’t quit.

You breathe.
You learn.
You survive.
You grow.

And the next time life smashes you?

You’ll be ready.

Because you’ve already practiced it 1,000 times.

​

Are you sicked and tired of being surrounded by losers, lemmings and Luddites?

Then join the Leader's Dojo, where you not only discover how badass you are but you're surrounded by other badass warriors and leaders who will help you to be even better.

​Join now here!​