The Iron Triangle of Life: Why Knowing What You Value Keeps You from Getting Screwed

“You can have it fast, cheap, or good. Pick two.”

He gets his cortado every morning—right at 6:40, like clockwork. Always focused, always in slacks and a tucked-in T-shirt, backpack on one shoulder, and earbuds in like he’s on a mission.

We nod to each other most mornings—him heading to his tech job in Silicon Beach, me, retired, doing my work on the laptop in my usual seat.

One day, he pauses at my table, hesitates, then pulls out his phone. “Hey Chuck, I know you used to be in construction, right? Can I ask you something?”

He opens his phone and shows me a set of blueprints for an addition he's building on his house.

Not my world—I worked commercial and industrial my whole career—but construction has the same heartbeat, no matter the project.

He’s frustrated. His contractor promised one thing but is now saying it’ll take more time, more money, or won’t be up to the spec he was expecting.

“Let me guess,” I say, sipping my coffee. “You were promised fast, cheap, and high-quality?”

He nods.

“That’s not how it works.”

I explained to him what I’ve told dozens of apprentices, project managers, and yes—even inspectors:

I shared a story from the field—how we'd use blue tape and Sharpies during final job walks to call out anything that needed fixing.

Payment didn’t happen until every piece of tape was gone.

And I told him something more important: Life is the same way. You get what you pay for. What you prioritize gets built.

But if you don’t know what matters to you, someone else will decide for you.

The Iron Triangle Isn’t Just for Construction—It’s for Life

In construction, we use the Iron Triangle to balance resources:

• Time: How fast can it be done?
• Cost: How much does it cost?
• Quality: How good is the final product?

But you can only optimize two of them.

• You want it fast and cheap? It won’t be high quality.
• You want it cheap and good? It’s not gonna happen fast.
• You want it fast and good? Get ready to pay a hefty premium.

That’s not just true for building homes or office towers—it’s true for building a life.

How This Applies to You

Most young men don’t realize they’re already stuck in someone else’s Iron Triangle.

They don’t know what they value, so they chase what’s easiest:

• Fast money.
• Cheap thrills.
• A “good enough” life.

But that’s a recipe for burnout, disappointment, and regret.

Just like construction, if you don’t design your life intentionally, you’ll end up with whatever the lowest bidder gives you.​

And here’s the harsh truth: you get what you tolerate.

What Happens When You Don’t Know What You Value

If you don’t know your values, you become a puppet on someone else’s project:

• You take the job that pays the most—not the one that fulfills you.
• You chase short-term relationships instead of building long-term connection.
• You spend money to impress people instead of investing in your growth.

You end up with a life that might look “successful” on paper—but inside, you feel like something’s missing. That’s because it is.

Here’s the rub: you never signed off on your own blueprint.

You never put down the blue tape and said, “This here? This needs fixing. That right there? That needs to change.”

Blueprint First, Build Second

Most people build their lives backwards. They start pouring concrete before they’ve finished the design.

The antidote is clarity.

Ask yourself:

• What do I actually value?
• What tradeoffs am I willing to make—and which ones are non-negotiable?
• Do my current actions align with what I say matters most?

Let’s take a few examples:

1. Fitness

• You want to be jacked, but also party every weekend and sleep 5 hours a night? That’s fast and cheap—but you’re sacrificing quality.
• Want a sustainable, high-performance body? Then invest time and discipline. No hacks. No shortcuts.

2. Career

• Want to get rich quick without building skills? You’ll get scammed.
• Want to build a reputation, skill stack, and legacy? It’ll cost time, effort, and maybe less pay upfront—but the ROI is exponential.

3. Relationships

• Want deep, lasting love? It takes time and emotional investment.
• Swipe culture gives you fast and cheap—but at what cost to intimacy and self-worth?

Knowing your values gives you leverage.

It lets you say no to what doesn’t serve your blueprint. And that’s where your real power starts.

The Leadership Lesson

In my years managing multi-million-dollar jobs, the guys who couldn’t hold their priorities always cracked. They got distracted by ego, shiny objects, or fear.

But the ones who knew what they stood for? They didn’t budge when the client screamed, “Why is this taking so long?” Because they knew why: they were building something that would last.

Same goes for you.

A warrior knows what hill he’s willing to die on. A leader knows what outcomes matter most. A badass doesn’t compromise on the essentials—even if it costs him comfort or cash in the short-term.

That’s why this isn’t just about business—it’s about integrity.

How to Start Applying the Iron Triangle to Your Life

Here’s a simple framework:

1. List Your Top 3 Values

Write down what matters most to you—freedom, mastery, love, peace, purpose—whatever it is. Don’t filter it. This is your blueprint.

2. Identify the Triangle

For each area of your life—career, health, relationships—ask:

• Where am I choosing speed over substance?
• Where am I being cheap with my time, money, or effort?
• Where am I demanding all three and setting myself up for disappointment?

3. Make the Tradeoff Consciously

You can’t have all three. So ask: which two matter most right now?

Example:

You get the picture.

Your clarity will save you from aimless hustle and burnout.

Your values will become your compass.

And your triangle will no longer be a trap—it’ll be a tool.

Putting It On the Mat

When I took on a big job—my first real leadership role on a multi-million-dollar construction project. The pressure was enormous.

My boss told me, “We're behind the 8-ball—we’re already behind schedule, and we’re over budget.”

Everyone wanted it done yesterday. They wanted it perfect. And there wasn't the budget to pay more.

Sound familiar?

I had to make a choice. Either I burned out my crew trying to meet unrealistic timelines, or I stood my ground and delivered what I believed in—even if it pissed a few people off.

So I called a team huddle.

I told the guys, “Look, they want fast, cheap, and good. We can only give them two. Let’s pick good and fast—and I’ll go to bat for the budget.”

We adjusted the plan, made tradeoffs, and communicated clearly. Some things got cut. Some were delayed. But the work we did? It held up. It passed inspection. It didn’t fall apart six months later.

And I earned something far more valuable than a bonus: I earned respect.

From my crew. From the boss. From myself.

You’ll face the same crossroads in your life.

Someone will promise you the world for nothing.

Someone will try to rush your growth.

Someone will say “just get it done,” when you know you’re building something sacred.

When that happens, pause. Pull out your own version of blue tape.

Ask:

• Is this aligned with my values?
• Am I clear on the tradeoffs?
• Am I building something that will last—or something that will crack under pressure?

That’s how you live like a warrior. That’s how you lead with integrity. That’s how you become the kind of badass who can’t be bought, won’t be rushed, and never compromises his mission.

Put it on the mat this week:

1. Write your top 3 life values.
2. Do a blue-tape walk on your life—mark the stuff that’s off.
3. Choose your two out of the triangle—own your tradeoffs.

The Iron Triangle is a law you can’t escape. But if you learn to work with it—not against it—you’ll build a life worth inspecting.

P.S. A lot of people tell me I'm lucky to be retired so "young," getting to train BJJ and travel the world with my wife.

Knowing the Iron Triangle and using the resource of Time to build the life that I wanted to live, at a cost that I was willing to pay and a quality of life that brought joy and happiness for me and my wife.

You can learn to do the same with Control Your Time, Control Your Life.​

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