Your Perception Creates Your Reality: What a Fake Scar and a Cold Poker Taught Me About the Mind

What you think shapes what you experience. Change your thinking, and you change your life.

I remember the day Grandmaster Han gave us homework that had nothing to do with kicks, punches, or throws.

“Study tigers,” he said. “Go to the zoo. Watch them. Read books about them. Really get to know them.”

This was the late 80s, early 90s. Long before the internet. Long before YouTube. If you wanted to study tigers, you had to go see them or read about them.

So we did.

Then, in the next class, he had us sit down and meditate. He told us to picture ourselves facing off against one of these powerful beasts.

We did this exercise over and over. Visualizing. Feeling. Standing our ground against an imaginary tiger.

Later, GM Han explained the purpose:

He was teaching us the power of the mind.

And I got it backed up with stories from his senior instructors.​

Stories from his upbringing in war-torn Korea during Japanese occupation.

Stories I couldn’t verify, but his prowess on the mat couldn’t be denied.

I first met GM Han when he was 53. I could only imagine what a powerhouse he was in his twenties and thirties.

And the lesson stuck:

What you think shapes what you experience.

Years later, I’d learn the science behind what GM Han was teaching us.

And it would change how I understood everything.

The Dartmouth Scar Experiment: When a Fake Scar Creates Real Discrimination

In 1980, researchers at Dartmouth conducted a fascinating experiment.​

They told participants they were studying how people react to physical disfigurement. They applied realistic-looking facial scars to the participants using theatrical makeup.

Then they showed the participants their “scarred” faces in a mirror.

The participants saw the scar. They believed it was real.

Next, the researchers told them they needed to apply a final coat of powder to set the makeup.

But here’s what they actually did:

They removed the scar entirely.

The participants were sent into the world to interact with strangers—believing they had a prominent facial scar.

When they came back, they reported widespread discrimination.

People stared at them. Avoided eye contact. Treated them differently. Some even made rude comments about their appearance.

But here’s the thing:

There was no scar.

The discrimination they experienced? It didn’t exist. Not objectively.

But it was real to them. Because they believed it was happening.

Their perception—their belief that they had a scar and that people would react negatively—shaped how they interpreted every interaction.

A glance became a stare. A moment of distraction became avoidance. A neutral comment became an insult.

Their perception created their reality.

The Harold Wolff Hot Poker Experiment: When the Mind Creates Physical Pain

GM Han told us a story in class. About a researcher named Harold Wolff.​

Wolff was studying the power of suggestion and the mind-body connection.

In one experiment, under hypnosis, he told a subject he was going to touch them with a hot poker. He showed them the poker being heated until it glowed red.

Then he touched the subject with an ice cube.

The subject screamed in pain. Their skin blistered. They developed a burn mark.

From a ice cube.

The mind believed the poker was hot. And the body responded as if it were.

The perception created a physical reality.

Now, I’ve seen variations of this story over the years, and some details differ depending on the telling.

But the core principle remains:

What the mind believes, the body experiences.

This isn’t mysticism. It’s neuroscience.

Your brain doesn’t experience reality directly. It experiences your interpretation of reality. Your perception.

And your perception is shaped by your beliefs, expectations, and focus.

What Psycho-Cybernetics Taught Me

Years after hearing GM Han's story, I read a book that tied all of this together: Psycho-Cybernetics by Dr. Maxwell Maltz.

Maltz was a plastic surgeon. He spent years giving people nose jobs, face-lifts, scar removals—procedures that dramatically changed their appearance.

And he noticed something strange.

Some patients would get the surgery, look in the mirror, and their entire life would change. They’d become more confident, more successful, more happy.

But others would get the exact same surgery and nothing would change.

They’d still see themselves as ugly. They’d still feel insecure. They’d still struggle with the same problems.

Same physical change. Completely different outcomes.

Maltz realized:

It wasn’t the physical change that mattered.

It was the self-image.

The patients who saw themselves differently after surgery experienced a different reality. The patients who still saw themselves the same way experienced the same reality—despite the physical change.

Your self-image—your perception of yourself—creates your reality.

Not your actual circumstances. Not your actual appearance. Not your actual abilities.

Your perception of those things.

How This Played Out in My Life

I was the smallest kid in class growing up. I got picked on. Pushed around. Targeted by bullies.

And for years, I saw myself as small. Weak. A target.

That perception shaped everything. How I walked. How I talked. How I interacted with people.

And guess what?

People treated me like I was small and weak.

Not because I actually was. But because I projected that perception. And people responded to what I projected.

Then I started training martial arts. And something shifted.

Not my size. I was still small.

But my perception of myself changed.

I started seeing myself as capable. As someone who could handle himself. As someone who didn’t need to be afraid.

And people started treating me differently.

Not because I got bigger. Not because I suddenly became a badass.

But because I carried myself differently. Because my perception of myself changed.

And that change in perception created a change in reality.

Why Your Perception Matters More Than Your Circumstances

Here’s what most people get wrong:

They think they need to change their circumstances to change their life.

• “If I just had more money, I’d be happy.”
• “If I just had a better job, I’d be successful.”
• “If I just had a better relationship, I’d be fulfilled.”

But it doesn’t work that way.

Because your perception shapes your experience more than your circumstances do.

Two people can have the exact same circumstances and experience completely different realities.

One sees opportunity. The other sees obstacles.

One sees challenges as growth. The other sees challenges as proof they’re not good enough.

One sees setbacks as temporary. The other sees setbacks as permanent.

Same circumstances. Different perceptions. Different realities.

The Framework: How to Change Your Perception

Here’s how you change your perception—and therefore your reality:

Step 1: Identify your current perception.

What story are you telling yourself about who you are and what’s possible for you?

Are you telling yourself you’re not good enough? That you’re too old, too young, too inexperienced?

Are you telling yourself that people don’t respect you? That opportunities don’t come to you? That success is for other people?

Write it down. Get clear on the story you’re currently believing.

Step 2: Recognize that it’s just a story.

Your perception isn’t reality. It’s your interpretation of reality.

And interpretations can change.

The participants in the Dartmouth experiment believed they had a scar. They didn’t. But their belief shaped their experience.

What belief are you holding that’s shaping your experience—even though it might not be true?

Step 3: Choose a new perception.

What would you need to believe about yourself to experience the reality you want?

If you want to be confident, what would a confident person believe about themselves?

If you want to be successful, what would a successful person believe about their capabilities?

If you want to be respected, what would a respected person believe about their value?

Choose the perception that serves the reality you want to create.

Step 4: Practice the new perception.

This is what GM Han was having us do with the tiger visualization.

We weren’t actually fighting tigers. But we were training our minds to believe we could stand up to something fearsome.

And that belief changed how we showed up in real situations.

You do the same thing. Visualize yourself as the person with the new perception.

See yourself walking into a room with confidence. See yourself handling challenges with calm. See yourself being treated with respect.

Do it over and over until the new perception feels real.

Step 5: Act from the new perception.

This is critical. You can’t just think differently. You have to act differently.

If you perceive yourself as confident, how would you walk? How would you speak? How would you handle a difficult conversation?

Act from that perception. Even if it feels fake at first.

Over time, the actions reinforce the perception. And the perception becomes your reality.

Step 6: Notice the feedback loop.

As you change your perception and your actions, you’ll start getting different responses from the world.

People will treat you differently. Opportunities will show up differently. Challenges will feel different.

That feedback reinforces the new perception. And the loop continues.

Why Most People Stay Stuck

Most people try to change their actions without changing their perception.

They try to act confident while still believing they’re not good enough.

They try to pursue success while still believing success isn’t for them.

They try to build relationships while still believing they’re not worthy of love.

And it doesn’t work.

Because your actions flow from your perception. If your perception doesn’t change, your actions will always revert back to the old pattern.

You have to change the perception first. Then the actions follow naturally.

The Truth GM Han Was Teaching

When GM Han had us visualize fighting tigers, he wasn’t teaching us to fight tigers.

He was teaching us that the mind is more powerful than we realize.

That what we believe shapes what we experience.

That if we can train our minds to stand up to an imaginary tiger, we can train our minds to stand up to real challenges.

That perception creates reality.

And he was right.

The students who did that visualization work showed up differently on the mat. They carried themselves differently in sparring. They handled pressure differently in testing.

Not because they got physically stronger. But because their perception of themselves changed.

And that change in perception changed everything.

The Application to Your Life

If you don’t like your life, you might want to start with changing your thinking long before you work on changing your actions.

Because you could just be wasting your time.

You can work harder. You can try new strategies. You can change jobs, change cities, change relationships.

But if your perception doesn’t change, you’ll just recreate the same reality in a new environment.

The person who perceives themselves as a victim will find victimhood everywhere.

The person who perceives themselves as incapable will find evidence of their incapability everywhere.

The person who perceives themselves as unworthy will find rejection everywhere.

Not because those things are objectively true. But because perception shapes interpretation.

Change the perception, and you change the interpretation. Change the interpretation, and you change the reality.

The Challenge

Here’s what I want you to do this week:

Identify one perception you’re holding about yourself that’s creating a reality you don’t want.

Maybe it’s “I’m not good enough.” Maybe it’s “People don’t respect me.” Maybe it’s “I’m not capable of success.”

Write it down.

Then ask: What would I need to believe instead to create the reality I want?

Write that down too.

Then spend five minutes a day visualizing yourself as the person who holds that new belief.

See yourself walking, talking, acting from that new perception.

Do it for a week. Then notice what changes.

Not just in your mind. But in how people respond to you. In the opportunities that show up. In how challenges feel.

Your perception creates your reality. Change your perception, and you change your life.

The Final Word

The participants in the Dartmouth experiment experienced discrimination that didn’t exist—because they believed it did.

The subject in the Wolff experiment experienced a burn from a cold poker—because they believed it was hot.

What you believe shapes what you experience.

So if you’re experiencing a reality you don’t want, start by examining what you believe.

About yourself. About what’s possible. About what you deserve.

Then choose a new belief. Practice it. Act from it.

And watch your reality change.

What perception are you ready to change today?